reaches the top. I was always there listening to your words, and I
found a goal, to love Dada and serve her, doing this with pride,
with pure unconditional love. Maybe she loved you once, but not
anymore, and I learned to forgive her.‖
―Great, one person heard my message, but you will die in a few
decades, and then what?
―I am not the only one, Neil. Some will pass it on to their
children and their children…‖
―Great, I have done my job, now Judas get out of my house
before I throw you out. You are a no one, a puppy and nothing
more, you have done nothing. The world is mine and no one
else‘s, no one will bring me down.‖
―We‘ll see about that. Farewell, my friend. I wish that you find
your way, and don‘t forget, just because you are his son, he will
still send you to hell if he sees fit.‖
―I wish the same for you, find your way leading just around the
house, past the golden gate, through the pinewoods, back to the
city. Au revoir.‖
Judas stood up and left, seeing the apostles lying one on top of
the other not knowing whom they were copulating with, what
body part they were penetrating. It could have been an ear, a
nose, or an eye socket for all they cared. Shivers ran up and down
his back.
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As he walked around the building by the neatly trimmed
bushes embracing the wall, he heard a crackle that made him stop
to find out its origin. The sound repeated itself, it was coming
from beneath the bushes. He knelt down and pulled the branches
apart and found a little window. Instead of an abandoned dark
basement, he saw a room covered with white tiles. In the middle
there stood a torture chair with a girl sitting atop of it, her legs
spread into the air withheld by cushioned extensions emerging
from the base of the chair, her vagina saluting the world. She was
eating chips, and each time she reached for some more, she made
the bag crackle. She was watching the muted television hanging
from the ceiling in the corner without a care in the world.
A video was streaming on the screen showing an interior tinted
by neon colors with dancers dancing as if they were having some
kind of a seizure. Colorful bubble letters appeared now and then,
asking the viewer who the girl was, over and over again, not
begging but demanding to know who the singer was. The screen
was muted, but the girl sitting in the chair was watching it
nonetheless, probably trying to answer the question she was
asked by the silent screen. Who‘s that chick?
The door opened, and a man wearing a white coat stepped in.
He was talking on his cellphone and just nodded to the girl.
―What movie are we going to see?‖ he asked the one on the other
side of the phone. ―The one where the girl cheats on his man in
hope of a better life or the one with the explosions?‖
He walked to the corner and pulled a strange machine on
wheels next to the girl and sat down before her.
―I don‘t know, the one with the explosion seems more
interesting.‖
He reached for a tube emerging from the side of the equipment.
―Is that actor still alive? I thought he overdosed or was
murdered or something…‖
He raised the tube and started pushing it higher and higher
into the girl‘s vagina. The girl squinted, still watching the
television, trying to answer the question pending in the air.
―Oh right, it wasn‘t him. There are far too many celebrities to
keep track of…‖
The machine started humming, and the translucent tube
became red. Judas took pictures with his phone one after the
other when he heard the shriek of an infant. He fell back to the
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ground but stood up the same instant, scurrying away from this
nightmare.
Bubbly words appeared in the sky. Who‘s that chick? Who‘s
that chick? How could this girl have an abortion just like that,
without thought or remorse of any kind?
Everything seemed so unreal and improbable, so fake and
shiny, but empty, just like the plastic apples lying in the green,
green grass. As he walked past the apple trees, he heard a hissing.
He saw two glistening ruby-red eyes staring at him from the
branches, a tongue appearing now and then, its end divided.
Judas hurried to the bike and jumped on it, speeding away and
pressing the stop button on his recorder hidden under his shirt.
He could feel the wind giving him an extra boost as if it
approved of his deeds. God speed, said the wind. Eight other
bikers joined him, and they drove down the serpentine leading to
the highway and back to the city.
Peter‘s Gospel
Peter hurried to his seat in the front row anxious for all this to
end and return to celebrate with the others at the mansion. He sat
down facing the stage with a great mahogany desk in the center
and a throne carved out of the finest rose wood behind it. Before
the desk there stood a beige sofa. The background was that of a
city, creating the false illusions of windows facing the vast urban
panorama. Peter saw the wallpaper peeling off here and there, not
understanding why this impression had to be maintained.
The cameras were pointing to the stage enlightened by blinding
spotlights scorching the ones that will have to sit beneath them.
Lights in an interrogation room. The lines and questions were
well written, supervised and accepted by a sea of lawyers.
Boredom, Peter thought, hoping to witness true surprise, just
once. The band was tuning on the other side of the stage, and the
cameras were taking their final places. The well-trained audience
was sitting in perfect silence following the strict instructions of
the coordinator preparing the signs bearing the commands that
the audience, just like perfectly trained Pavlovian dogs, must
obey.
The coordinator asked for the crowd‘s attention. He raised his
hand and pointed toward the band that started playing. The
drums, the trumpets, the piano, and the guitars poured out a
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merry tune. The coordinator raised a sign bearing the word
‗applaud‘, and the audience obeyed the same moment.
Pilate appeared at the top of the stairs. The lights on the
cameras were flashing red, all pointed at him, channeling his
image around the continent. It was his orange skin that made him
look like a man made of clay. As he smiled, his white teeth
glowed. His smile was so wide it seemed that he was about to
gobble up the whole audience. He was wearing a slim dark blue
jacket with a yellow bowtie. His black hair was combed
backwards as if it were dried by the great motors of a jet, a grey
strand dividing his skull into two even parts. He walked down the
stairs waving to the audience, blowing kisses, owning the stage
with the confidence of the host, knowing that everything here
belonged to him. He stopped at the front of the stage and bowed,
still waving here and there, nodding with humbleness au fait. He
walked to his desk and sat down taking a sip from the mug
bearing his name, Pilate.
―Welcome everybody, and thank you for being here on the last
show of the season. Today‘s guest is one of the greatest stars who
ever shone down from the night sky. A star with a message,
something so unique and singular, not only singing about love,
sex, and parties, but much more. He sings about abortion, sexual
orientation, divorce, and acceptance, most of all self-acceptance.
This is a long and dangerous road that caused the death of many,
including Lady Dada a few months ago. To her I would like to
dedicate a minute of silence and ask everybody watching us to do
the same.‖
The studio was perfectly silent, no one moved, and Peter tried
to remember the face of Dada but just couldn‘t. She was lost
among the many stars emerging and falling in the past month.
Peter felt his memories blur. In the last few weeks he was not
living in reality but in-between squirming bodies and never-
ending orgasms. He felt empty and for the first time understood,
he was the one fading and not Dada.
―And now, ladies and gentlemen, a little about today‘s guest.
Neil emerged from under the wings of Lady Dada. She was the
one who taught him to fly and stood by him even when he flew
much higher than she ever did. The pupil surpassed the mother
and of this Lady Dada was proud. An attitude so unlikely in this
world of jealousy. Neil was attacked by many, by the religions and
by the state, but no matter how hard they tried to pull him back to
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the ground by portraying him as a deluded psychopath, they just
couldn‘t grab hold of him, not inhibiting his rise in the slightest
way. He has become a leader to many. Even I believed that maybe
he truly was the son of God.
―A few months before, Neil accepted my invitation for the first
time. So, please, give him a round of applause.‖
The music started playing, and Neil appeared at the top of the
stairs. The sign went up once more, and the audience applauded.
He was wearing a white toga and sandals, his fluent hair was
freshly washed and swayed as he took each step descending into
the arena. He smiled from under his beard and waved to the
audience. He walked to Pilate, and they shook hands. As he sat
down, the applause ceased, and he too took a sip from the mug
with his name, Neil. He then placed it back next to the basket
bearing plastic fruits at the side of Pilate‘s desk.
―Thank you once more, Neil, for accepting my invitation. Tell
me, how are you?‖
―Very well, Pilate. I would have come sooner if I had the time.
Traveling around the globe seems to have taken up all of my
time.‖
―Of course. So, your second studio album will be out in a few
weeks, tell me about that.‖
―I can‘t tell you too much, but I can tell you that it will be much
more mature than the previous one, a little more edgy…‖
―More edgy than the previous one? How could that hardly be
possible? You have been already called the devil by many…‖
The audience laughed.
―…but the Messiah as well.‖
―Yes, and about that, are you really the child of God?‖ asked
Pilate bending over his desk, wrinkling his forehead, squinting
toward Neil.
―I can tell you ‗yes, I am‘, but would you believe me?‖
―Probably not,‖ said Pilate.
The audience laughed once again.
―Pilate, we are all sons and daughters of God. I am blessed, this
anyone can witness. Look where I am now. What a long road I
have come, from an untidy garage to you. God is blessing my
every step, and I know much too well that I wouldn‘t be here
without him…I am more blessed than others, and this I tell you as
a fact not as boasting.‖
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―Sometimes you seem such a horrible and arrogant person, but
I cannot tell you that I hate you, you have something that
hypnotizes me.‖
―Thank you, Pilate, you are so kind.‖
The sign rises bearing the next command. The audience starts
awing and to Peter it seems so false, like the fruits on the desk,
the tan on Pilate‘s face, and the mannerisms of Neil. Peter
shuddered and felt himself emerge from the darkness he was
sinking into the last few weeks and started rising toward the light.
―I am not arrogant,‖ continued Neil. ―I just know what I have
and what I have achieved.‖
―Do you think you can change the world?‖
―I don‘t know whether I can, I can only hope.‖
―Tell me about this world you would like to bring to earth.‖
―It is a world where the saint trinity rules over all,‖ said Neil
reciting something that was boring him to death, ―the perfect
harmony of the body, mind, and heart, a world where life is
acknowledged as a gift and is treated as such, where life is lived to
its fullest and is not sacrificed to inhibitions or overuse.‖
The screens over Peter‘s head flickered, screens that were dark
and hiding in obscurity until now, sizzling as a picture came on. It
took time for Peter to recognize what those pictures were. At first
it seemed a perverted painting of body parts mounted one on top
of the other, but it wasn‘t. It was their orgy, and for the first time
he saw himself from outside as he was having an orgasm, and he
seemed hideous to himself. Just sitting there as a spectator it
seemed disgusting, it was lacking something, it was an act for the
sake of an act, it was murder for the sake of murder. It was sin,
and this recognition pierced through his heart like a spear.
Neil continued, ―It is the land of ultimate acceptance and
tolerance, a world where no sacrifices are made, no one has to
suffer for the good of the other, knowing that your personal
happiness is just as important as the happiness of the other
because only in this state does your body, mind, and heart
function at its greatest potential.‖
The screen flickered, now showing Neil as he snorts up a line of
cocaine. The next picture immortalized his face as the first dash
of pleasure ran across him making him shiver, sharpening all his
senses. Next Peter saw a woman with her legs spread into the air
and a man wearing a white cape sitting before her on a stool with
a strange machine on his side.
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The audience started whispering, and the murmur was building
up. The ones sitting before the TV set, millions of people around
the continent were witnessing the horror, men reduced to the
state of animals. For weeks he was an animal, a being that forgot
to ask questions and search for the answers. Neil tripped, but had
not changed and tripped once again, this time rolling down the
stairs.
―Many say that I am selfish, but I am not because you were
born to be happy. This is your ultimate goal and nothing more,
not because it is selfish but because this is the only sacrifice that
should be made. But you know that sacrifice is not sacrifice when
you give up the worse for the better, just like Jesus who did not
sacrifice himself either and left the limited world for the limitless
heaven. He had the luxury of the certainty that heaven exists,
unlike us humans who‘ll never know for sure.‖
The next picture showed the man sucking the fetus out of the
woman‘s womb. The world hissed, and Peter soon understood
who betrayed them, but he had to ask himself whether this act
was truly an act of betrayal. A whistle emerged from the crowd, a
single whistle as sharp as a knife.
The speakers started playing something over and over again,
and Peter recognized Neil‘s voice, ‗I break the bread and give it to
them, and they will eat it even if it is covered in mold. I raise the
glass of wine and offer it to them, and they will drink it even if it
is full of poison. They will take whatever I give them.‘
Neil turned to the crowd and stopped talking for a second.
―What is happening?‖ he asked turning back to Pilate.
―The truth has come out, Neil. This is your world, your
dystopia.‖
―What do you mean?‖
Pilate nodded toward the screens. Neil stood up, walked toward
the audience, and stopped, turned to stone by the snakes of
Medusa. Peter couldn‘t move either, shocked by what he was
seeing. Then the first paper cup flew into the air, floating over the
audience, and Peter could swear he heard the music of the
Danube as the cup rotated and spun barely missing Neil. Then the
rest of the cups and handkerchiefs followed. It was a piece of
pretzel that hit Neil in his head and disrupted his shock. He
staggered to Pilate.
―What have you done?‖ asked Neil.
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―What do you mean? You are a two-faced liar and this, the
world had to know.‖
―You will pay for this, Pilate, I‘ll have all my lawyers bring you
down…‖
―And I‘ll pay the consequences, but believe me I have money. I
am the one who dragged you to the floor, made you human again,
this is enough for me. My audience will be satisfied.‖
―This is a lie, a horrible lie,‖ said Neil directing his words to the
crowd, and then he turned back to Pilate saying, ―They know that
I am docile as a lamb, that I am good. The mass will not turn
away even if they see that I am not perfect. I am their leader, and
they will follow me…‖
―Oh, Neil, Neil, Neil, this is where you are so terribly wrong. It
is not you that control the mass, but the other way around. You
can get away with many things until the mass is living in the false
impression that you are impeccable, you can lead them until you
don‘t actually name the fact that you are leading them. This
saddle is ever so thin and is created with mutual consent, you give
them the fake illusion that perfect freedom can be achieved while
they give you a pass that lets you get away with almost everything
except this, acknowledged leadership.‖
―They will not turn away…‖
―You have broken the pact, not because you lied to them but
because you openly acknowledged to be leading them. Humans
are proud, and you put a spotlight onto your arrogance and their
ignorance. Your mask has fallen, and the world now sees you for
who you are and not how you would want them to see you.‖
Pilate stood up.
―Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you Neil.‖ The crowd started
booing. ―Thank you for coming, Neil, it was a pleasure.‖
Neil stood up and hurried outside as Pilate turned to the
audience. ―And now, ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you
my newest young talent who will soon be rocking the world. I give
to you Barabbas with his first single I murdered your heart.‖
Barabbas started playing, and the booing turned into an
unstoppable cheering. As the music filled the studio, Peter felt a
hand caress his face, a comforting touch that made him smile and
close his eyes enjoying the movement. He raised his arm to grab
hold of this heavenly limb, but as he squeezed it a little, he felt
that it was ice cold.
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He opened his eyes and felt he was losing grip of reality. He
wanted to look the being caressing him straight in the eyes, but
one of its eye sockets was empty. Meat was dangling from its face,
and a maggot appeared from its nostril and disappeared into its
mouth. Peter jumped up in fear, but no one seemed to notice the
floating corpse with its meat dress swaying ever so calmly. He
gave out a shriek that was not strong enough to defeat the music
and started running with all his might away from this nightmare.
He left the studio and found himself in the backstage with the
crew hurrying in all directions, a tidy chaos moving the show
without ever being seen or acknowledged. He turned around and
was glad to see that no one was following him. He turned around
the corner and found himself face to face with the rotting corpse.
―He will fall…‖ hissed the monster.
Peter screamed once more and started running the opposite
direction. The music was slowly fading away. He ran through the
labyrinth of corridors too narrow, fearing he was going insane. He
just ran, scared to stop even for a second. He took a right and
found himself in-between the iron beams withholding the fake
background of the stage and the lights over it. The music was
growing louder. The iron beams shot from all directions, like a
cage. He moved in the darkness colliding with the iron now and
then, climbing over it, ducking beneath it. The fear kept him
moving.
He was right behind the stage as the music was deafening now.
The forest of beams became thinner, and soon he found himself
before the stairs leading over the stage.
―He will fall,‖ said the voice, and Peter turned around to see the
being floating towards him through the beams, uninhibited by
matter, just like a deadly smoke trying to catch him.
Peter hurried up the stairs, his steps turning into metallic
clatter, barely audible, melting into the tune played by Barabbas.
Higher and higher he went, still followed by this disembodied
apparition trying to seize him. He took the last step and found
himself on an iron bridge leading nowhere, a dead end, probably
used for the maintenance of spotlights fastened to the railing.
He started backing, his heart thumping in his throat, about to
faint anytime. He imagined his body falling on top of Barabbas
before the eyes of the crowd. What a show, what a show that
would be.
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The corpse landed on the top of the stairs. Its shoes touched the
floor, platforms so high it made it three heads taller than Peter. It
began to walk, the maggot hurried out of the eye socket and
disappeared into its nose. The healthy eye was so familiar, but the
missing skin and the tattered muscles made it impossible for
Peter to recognize it.
The music playing beneath them was reaching the end of the
obligatory variation and was now culminating, giving place to the
refrain that would wash through the crowd already familiar with
the tune, heard many times during the song.
The skin of the being was growing from the neck faster and
faster, covering its face until Peter recognized her, it was Lady
Dada.
―Mother monster,‖ he said kneeling down and bowing his head.
Her white skin was glowing and made her seem a mirror of
heaven itself. She stopped before him and caressed his head.
―Stand up, Peter.‖
Peter obeyed looking up into her eyes shimmering like the
surface of the sea as the sun sets beneath the horizon.
―What happened to us?‖ he asked her.
Lady Dada smiled and caressed his face before speaking in her
sweet motherly voice. ―You were led by him, you were blinded by
your own consent, you followed a leader that was lost himself, a
captain that orders the ship forward not acknowledging the great
hole at the bottom.‖
―How could he lose himself, isn‘t he the son of God?‖
―He is, in the form of a human, he may be divine, but in this
state he is human, blinded by notoriety.‖
―Can‘t we do anything? Will the son of God go to hell?‖
―He will