anyone? Why is it a sin to leave a marriage that destroys the
subjects of it? Why is it a sin then to remarry with the promise of
a life lived in happiness? Is adultery a sin when it is an escape
from a spouse that wants nothing but to destroy the other one‘s
life? Why is abortion a sin when the child born into a family that
is not ready for the gift, destroys not only the family, but the life
of the child as well?
―I don‘t say to run around copulating with everyone then kill
the fetus and go on having sex. All I ask is to think, shake off the
shackles made of cold marble and think. Ask yourself why. Ask
yourself who is hurt. There is only one sin that has as many forms
as mirrors on the greatest disco ball of the world. Sin is when you
harm someone that means no harm to anyone.
―God‘s kingdom will come when you learn to love each other
with all your heart and learn to live in mutual respect.‖
―Don‘t listen to him.‖
Peter heard some in the crowd moan in awe as the Pope
stepped out onto the balcony hovering above the sea of people.
―Don‘t turn away from God,‖ continued the Pope wearing
civilian clothes, jeans and a T-shirt, lacking all the pompous
costumes and accessories that make him look like a vain super
star. ―Do you want the world to end? Do you want Sodom and
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Gomorra to repeat itself? It is a sin for people of the same-sex to
marry, it is written in the Bible, it is incorporated as an axiom
into most of the cultures, it has been for thousands of years, and
it worked. It is a sin to kill because the Ten Commandments say
so, thus abortion and contraception is also a sin because life
begins with a semen and an egg. Divorce is a sin because what
God joined human cannot tear apart. It is a sin, don‘t you hear
me? A sin, a sin, sin, sin, sin, sin, siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin…‖ he
shrieked.
―Silence,‖ boomed Neil, and he too was surprised by the power
of his voice echoing around the square. The Pope started choking
and had to grab hold of the balcony‘s railing preventing him to
fall down. Women fainted in the crowd, and everyone was afraid
to speak. He started retching and heaving. As he coughed, stale
dust came out of his mouth and a musty smell of an unused attic
filled the square. He was suffocating slowly, his suffering
culminating only to give him release the next second as a moth
flew out of his mouth. Peter saw the moth fly into the air then it
began his descent, stopping right before Peter‘s eyes. The moth
gave him a wink, tink, then a smile, and flew away. The Pope
coughed and crumbled to the ground.
―I think we are done here,‖ said Neil descending the stairs.
Silence.
The crowd parted as Neil walked away from the church. Peter
could see fear in the eyes of the audience. They wanted to believe
him, but Neil was tearing up roots too deep, roots that entwined
and grew deeper and deeper during the many eons. Neil was
offering them something new, something so simple and
comprehendible, yet the crowd was terrified to believe him and
cheer. Peter walked behind Neil hoping that he truly was the son
of God.
NEIL‘S TWITTER. Water is a gift and must be treated as such.
Some spoil it while others die of thirst. Some never think of it,
others can‘t stop.
James‘ Gospel
James looked at the four aces in his hands, peeking at Judas
over his cards, knowing that probably he would beat him no
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matter how lucky Judas thinks he is. The taste of victory dissolved
in his mouth, sweet and sour, raspberry. James reached for a can
of beer and took a sip, feeling the tiredness overcome him. There
was one last stop, and the tour would finally come to an end, they
would finally be able to return to their hometown and meet with
their families.
Peter was sleeping in his lap, John was reading a book. They
were sitting in John‘s trailer that was filled with the many books
he usually read at once. Among the pile of papers and books, the
room seemed the storage of a library and made him feel crowded,
so many lives and different worlds residing on paper, imprisoned
by ink. They were just books, but he felt the presence of the
characters cheering for him, as cheering for the winner is always
the easiest thing to do.
They were getting a positive buzz from many, but the great
breakthrough hadn‘t come yet, they were still the protégés of
Lady Dada, and still had to prove themselves worthy in the eyes
of the youth. They were all waiting for the kick that would send
them flying toward the stars. James felt it lingering about, felt the
flow that would break through the dam. It was impossible to lose
when they have climbed so high already.
The four aces in his hand were a symbol, and he knew that
nothing happens out of pure coincidence. He would win, and for
the moment, this made him forget all his worries. Judas changed
his cards. It was time to show his hand, but James‘ happiness
dissolved quickly when the door flung open, and Philipp stepped
into the room.
―I just spoke with the chief editor of the Rolling Rocks, they
want us to be on their front cover with a full length interview…‖
Judas jumped up joyfully, throwing his cards into the air.
James looked down at his cards and frowned, slamming them
onto the table. Among the joy and excitement, he was a little
disappointed, he was about to win, so close.
―And this is not all, I spoke to Lady. She told me that she would
help us release our first album and even direct our debut video
clip…‖
Peter hugged Judas and Philipp. They opened up a bottle of
champagne. The cork flew into the air as the foam dribbled to the
ground. James stood up and left, searching for Neil.
James stepped out of the trailer and walked beneath the night
sky feeling lost. He wasn‘t an astrologer, the night sky was the
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same to him wherever they were. It had that luring and repulsing
characteristic of infinity, a word impossible to understand. The
lights of the city shone just over the horizon, coloring the bottom
of the dark blue sky a warm orange, life fighting against death, a
thin line against the vast blue above it. He walked through the
maze of trailers to the one where Neil was sleeping in.
James‘ hopes were high, no matter how hard it was to believe
it, they made it, they will rise, and after that? What happens when
you reach the top? The greatest fear of James was that nothing
would be there, only the valley beneath, the stunningly kitschy
world left behind, the river sparkling and heading toward the sea
that ends in the setting sun, beauty so far away, only the cold, arid
scenery of the summit around him. What do you do if you reach
everything you ever desired? Isn‘t that the end? Where do you go
when there is no going higher? Is there such a place? Maybe you
can reach a certain extent then you must fall.
He walked up the stairs and kicked open Neil‘s door, his heart
exulting because of the news. James saw Neil hunched over a tiny
wooden table with a rolled up one dollar bill in his hand. The
hand was reflected on a mirror lying on the table with streaks of
white powder divided evenly on it. James knew what it was and
felt a strange attraction to it even though he knew the substance
was dangerous, like the voice of the sirens calling the sailors
closer and closer to the rocks.
―What are you doing, Neil?‖
Neil looked at him surprised, knowing that it was too late to
hide the facts.
―It‘s just an energy boost, nothing more…‖
―I know, Neil, but isn‘t this a sin?‖
―Remember, sin and virtue are just like fire, it can give you
food, but if used unwisely, it can burn a village down. I am the
one controlling the drug. Do you want to try some?‖
‗He is the son of God,‘ James told himself, ‗he must know what
he is doing.‘
―Ok,‖ he said reaching for the dollar in Neil‘s hand. ―By the way
have you heard the news?‖
―Yes, Lady told me. We will be shooting after we rest a little at
home.‖
―She was here? What for? She hardly ever visits Judas...‖
―She just had to tell me the news in person...‖
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―Great, I guess,‖ he said and bent over to the mirror, sniffing
the powder up careful not to miss a single speck, thinking that
Neil was hiding something from him.
NEIL‘S TWITTER. No one can stop us now, we are speeding
higher and higher.
L€ne‘s Gospel
The limousine stopped before Neil‘s two-story house, the
apricot-colored planks radiating before the green lawn with the
rose bushes lining the path leading to the porch bearing the
rattan garden furniture.
The front door opened, and two women appeared, hugging
each other and smiling toward them.
Neil opened the door of the limousine, and light burst into the
darkness. He stretched his limbs then bent down. ―C‘mon, L€ne,
they are not going to eat you.‖
L€ne nodded and took a deep breath, diving into the meeting.
They walked down the gravel path dissecting the lawn hand-in-
hand, and L€ne felt her heart beating in her throat as Neil‘s
parents were coming closer. He let go of her hand, but L€ne tried
to grab hold of it fearing she would be carried away by a current.
Neil‘s hand just slipped away leaving her standing alone before
the steps of the porch as Neil jumped up and hugged his parents.
―Oh, mothers, it is so good to see you, you both look fantastic.‖
―Neil, don‘t be rude, could you please introduce us to this lovely
young girl,‖ said Mary.
L€ne examined her ragged clothes and golden boots and
thought about a word that would describe her, and even if she
didn‘t find any at the moment, she knew lovely would definitely
not be one of them.
―Mothers, I give to you L€ne,‖ said Neil waving toward her.
L€ne smiled, stepped up the stairs, and raised her hand. Mary
took it and pulled her close to hug her, blowing a kiss on her
cheek and whispering her name in L€ne‘s ear. Josephine did the
same.
―You both will be sleeping upstairs in Neil‘s room,‖ said Mary.
―Ok, mother,‖ said Neil taking L€ne‘s hand and pulling her
inside the house. L€ne looked around in the foyer, the hazel
parquet shining, the white railing of the stairs hurrying up to the
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first floor. Neil led her into the living room and sat her down into
the white sofa facing the modern fireplace with a rectangular
piece of glass before it. L€ne felt the scent of the lilacs rising
towards the sky from the vase on the side-table.
―Do you want a lemonade, L€ne?‖ asked Mary.
―Yes,‖ she said trying to sound as normal as possible.
―One more for me,‖ said Neil putting his head on L€ne‘s
shoulder. The many books filled the shelves on both sides of the
fireplace. The sprinklers rose out from ground in the garden and
started watering the perfectly kept lawn. L€ne closed her eyes
feeling that she loved this place, she wanted to lose herself in this
normality definitively. She heard two children playing on the
lawn, their two children, and saw Neil hurrying to work as she
waved him good-bye every morning until the end of her life.
L€ne heard a buzzing that awoke her from her daydream and
brought her back to the present. Neil sat up and reached into his
pocket.
―Oh shit, its Philip…‖
―Pick it up, maybe it‘s important.‖
Neil nodded and answered.
―Hi…Now?…Why didn‘t you tell me sooner…You forgot, I
see…You really need an assistant…You already have?...Can‘t it
wait?...Bye.‖
Neil hung up and threw the phone onto the glass table before
them, pressing the base of his palms against his eyes as if he were
trying to push his eyeballs back into his brain.
―We must go, the mayor‘s wife wants us to meet the mayor.
Philipp sent an open-car for us, the locals are already gathering…‖
―Now?‖
―Yes, Philipp says it will be good publicity.‖
―He‘s right, probably,‖ said L€ne as they heard a car stop
before the house. ―Should we change?‖
Neil was wearing his usual leather jacket with jeans and she a
T-shirt with a skeleton made of glitter on it.
―No, L€ne, we don‘t have time.‖
L€ne nodded, and they both stood up. Mary stepped out of the
kitchen with two lemonades in her hands, the scent of menthol
lingering about.
―Where are you going, kids?‖ she asked.
―To see the mayor…‖ answered Neil disappointedly.
―Lazarus? What for?‖
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―He is dying.‖
L€ne looked at Mary surprised, both of them did not see this
coming. Neil and L€ne stepped outside and saw the open-roofed
black limousine, so nostalgic, parking right behind the car they
had arrived with. They nodded to the chauffer who just tipped his
hat. They jumped into the back, sitting on the trunk.
They left the residential area and were heading toward the
center of the suburbs. As the first shops appeared, they heard a
murmur fill the air. They took a right to see the center with the
church on the right, Philipp‘s fish shop on the left, the ice cream
parlor by the entrance of the park with the fountain in the middle,
and the city hall, their destination, in the distance, rising over the
suburbs with its great white dome and neo-Classicist facade. The
road leading around the park was filled with people cheering.
Confetti was falling from the sky like rain. A band led by uncle
Sam, an old man, grim and rabbit-like, with a goatee fastened to
his chin with tape, a shining horizontal strip running parallel to
his lower-lip, was waiting for them to catch up. When they did,
Uncle Sam raised his walking stick, and the band started playing,
emitting their loud and raunchy music, heading toward the city
hall.
Neil and L€ne waved, hiding their shock with the widest smile
the world had ever seen. Occasionally mothers would step to Neil
giving him their babies, and Neil would blow a gentle kiss upon
their tender foreheads. Elders would raise their hands covered by
skin like parchment, and Neil would squeeze them with
compassion. It was a full-blown parade, and it seemed as if this
were the happiest fucking country the world had ever seen.
Through the cheering, a deep booing emerged. Soon great
boards came into sight over the heads of the rejoicing people.
Finally the protesters came into view, their black uniforms
draining the colors of the parade.
‗Lady Dada is the devil‘s wife, you are its bastard.‘ ‗The devil
rules, this is the end.‘ ‗Eradicate the root and the fruit will rot.‘
‗The child of the devil must succumb.‘
L€ne huddled closer to Neil afraid of the drooling protester,
their saliva, like acid, burning a hole into the concrete. Neil tried
to smile, but he too was afraid.
―Be careful, Neil,‖ screamed someone from behind when a dark
spot rose into the sky from the direction of the protesters. L€ne
watched it approaching them, growing bigger and bigger. She
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recognized its grey surface and rugged edges. The rock came
down crashing against Neil‘s head. Neil fell back onto the trunk
unconscious as L€ne felt the world spinning around her. The rock
bounced off Neil‘s head, and for some reason, she jumped after it
to catch it, as if catching it would somehow annul the hit. The
rock was just out of grasp, and L€ne, investing all her strength
into this unsuccessful movement, fell onto the trunk unconscious.
The last thing she felt was the warm metal of the car soothing her
from beneath.
Judas‘ Gospel
―I must speak to her…‖
―But is he alright?‖ asked Judas at the verge of panic.
―He is fine, but he is frightened, he has been attacked.‖
Judas looked at the monitor, Peter‘s face and thick glasses
occupied the whole screen. Judas could see his worried eyes and
wide nostrils, huffing as if it were the end of the world.
―Wait a second, I‘ll get her…‖
Judas stood up from the minimalist white sofa facing the great
glass wall through which the Big Apple could be seen in its full
splendor.
―Dada,‖ he called out.
―In the bathroom, sweetheart…‖
Judas walked around the glass dining table, took a right before
the bed standing in the corner, and pushed the wooden sliding
door to the side. Dada was kneeling before the cube toilette
wearing yellow rubber gloves rising to her elbow, scrubbing the
bowl clean.
―What is it?‖ she asked, catching breath between the words.
―Neil has been attacked and wants to step back. Peter wants
you to talk to him.‖
Dada stood up and took her gloves off, cleaning her forehead
with her wrist. She jumped to the mirror and adjusted her lobster
hat, straightening one of its antennae so that it rose into the sky
proudly.
She walked back to the living room and took the laptop into her
lap, Judas stopping behind her.
―Hi,‖ said Peter waving. ―Please do something, he wants to back
away.‖
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―Ok,‖ said Dada, and Peter smiled. Peter disappeared from the
monitor, and the white room of the hospital was visible now.
Peter‘s laptop rose into the sky, and Judas could see the rest of
the band, including L€ne, sitting by the bed. The monitor
stopped, facing the white wall as the sound of someone entering
the room leaked from the speakers
―Is he alright?‖ Judas heard the voice of Philipp.
―Yes,‖ answered Peter.
―I know this is not the best time, but I would like to introduce
to you my new assistant Bartholomew,‖ continued Philipp after a
brief pause.
The chairs moved, the sound of greeting filled the room.
―Neil? Neil?‖ Judas heard Philipp.
―He is not talking to any of us,‖ said Peter.
Peter‘s laptop hovered away from the wall, and Neil appeared,
lying in the bed, tucked in till his neck, his face motionless,
staring at the roof. Peter placed his computer into Neil‘s lap.
―Neil,‖ said Dada in a soft voice.
Neil raised his head and turned their way. ―Why didn‘t you tell
me that it would be so dangerous?‖ he asked emotionlessly.
―I thought you knew…‖
―How could I? All I saw was notoriety and fame…‖
―But you saw behind all this, the hell of a lot of work trying to
maintain the illusion that our lives are so easy. You read the
articles calling you the devil, the statements of the church and of
the conservative politicians…‖
―I did, but they seemed so far away. I thought they would never
touch me…‖
―You thought you were God…‖
Neil nodded.
―You see, Neil, it happens to all of us who reach the top, we
think that just because we are on a high mountain we are above
everyone else, but you must never forget that the sky is always
higher, higher that any mountain in the world. You must not
forget that you are human just like the rest of us, if you forget
this, you will fall.
―Come, Neil, let me show you something, you too, Judas,
come,‖ she said and picked the laptop up, walking to the
mysterious door, the whiteness of its surface shining. Dada
leaned close to the control panel and inserted the code that
opened the door. Dada pushed it in. She stepped into the
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darkness and flicked the switch up. The neon tubes flickered a
few times then stayed on, shining down onto many stacks of
paper, hundreds of white columns made of sheets, some reaching
the ceiling, even the shortest towering above Judas.
―What are these?‖ asked Neil, his muffled voice coming from
the speakers.
Dada laughed to herself and adjusted her white T-shirt, ―These,
my friend, are all threats, most of them vowing to stone me to
death.‖
―All of them?‖ asked Judas.
Dada nodded. ―The moment you emerge from the current of
people and begin your rise to the top, not only you become lonely,
with fewer and fewer companions, but you step into a spotlight
that makes you a target to the evil. I could have stopped many
times, but I didn‘t. They are wrong, and I will not give them the
reassurance of the immolated. If they bring me down, I‘ll give
them the biggest explosion the world has ever seen. I will not step
back in silence but drown screaming to the world. I promise.‖
Neil looked away, the light perspiring through the white
curtains falling onto his face.
―I am not going back to the mayor, I need some time to work
through this,‖ said Neil.
―You don‘t have any, if you postpone your visit, they will think
you are a coward, that your conviction is weak. This is what they
want you to do, to step back…‖
Neil still faced away and did not answer, but Dada did not give
up.
―When I was young, my mother told me we are all born as stars,
not meaning stars as in celebrities. The way she meant it was that
everyone has the power to achieve perfection in every profession,
you just need to be brave and stick to it, never give up. Go down
your road even if the world tells you you‘re crazy, stick to your
conviction, even if you must sacrifice your life because only then
won‘t it be a sacrifice, for God will reward you. If you are
convinced with all your heart that you are doing the ethical thing,
even if you aren‘t, God will forgive you, of this I am sure.
Sacrificing something for the better is not sacrifice because,
believe me, heaven will be something truly extraordinary.‖
Neil did not move.
―Neil? Are you listening?‖ asked Dada aggravated.
Neil raised his hand and shut the monitor down.
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Thomas‘ Gospel
Thomas watched Neil close the laptop.
―I am not going