A Reminder
To my brother Andrew, my fellow Apostles and disciples, to all my friends and followers of Christ, and especially to my wife; receive my new and very close friend Jereriah. Salute him and welcome him as one of us that love the Lord from the depth of his bowels, one who has stood beside me and with me thru all these times of mans’ peril, but counted unto me as Glory. I beseech you to receive him in my stead, as one who has also been captured into and by the Love of God, a disciple and scribe of the highest order.
Jereriah and I have spent much time together these past years and some months, and he has patiently written the story of my life as spoken thru my mouth. He was born a Jew, a scribe by trade, and grew up under the bondage of religion, but was set free from his old nature by the revealing and revelation of Jesus, face to face. And he brings to you, my beloved, greetings from your fellow believer born Simeon, and surname Peter by the mouth of our Lord Christ Jesus, saying to all; I have lived a good life, and now count it a privilege to die with the testimony of Jesus. My worthiness is not of myself, but it is He that gave me Life, and Life ever-lasting. And since it is my body, and my body only, that they put to death, I have objected strenuously to be crucified in this unworthy carnal shell, as that that was done to our Lord. Whether my objection was heeded or ignored is not as yet known.
Being raised in the Jewish faith, but not adhering but slightly to their form of godliness, and still living a life of morals; I became dissatisfied with my inner life. For emptiness created a void in my soul, that, even being happily married could not remedy. And in a time, met Him that was the Messiah, dropping everything to follow Him that claimed to have the Truth, and did; I began a journey that waxed both hot and cold.
Being counted among twelve, I saw myself as leader, chief among our small group of those that laid down our old life to follow Jesus, a mentor of those chosen ones, and not knowing then, but was unqualified in every capacity.
My life and walk with Jesus was ordered by our God, but my ego and my small amount of knowledge of things spiritual, held me to only that which the flesh could comprehend. When told that what I said was the rock on which Christ would build His Church, being in my flesh, took as a reinforcement of my leadership role; again, I was mistaken. But, when told to get behind Him, even speaking in my direction, calling out satan, and him being rebuked, I shrunk with embarrassment, for only a few moments earlier, I told Jesus that I’d fight for Him to the end. Again, this was only my flesh speaking with pride.
When told by our Lord to feed His lambs and sheep; again reestablished my idea of being in-charge, and not understanding His meaning, retained that which was spoken, and not knowing that on a certain day; all would be revealed.
I loved this man Jesus, and much more so now, and I believed with all my being that He gave purpose in life, therefore most of the emptiness had faded from within me, and with all that I possessed, loved Him. But right before He was nailed to that tree, I denied that I’d had ever known Him, not once did I do this, but three times, that is; I completely rejected His identity, and had become a total failure. If only I had understood Grace, for His Mercy was great, and beyond my understanding, I surely wouldn’t have thought Him to forsake me; which he didn’t, but so I thought.
After His death, living in despair, a failure in every way, I became bored and went fishing, if most of what I’d thought were true, then maybe leading these other men on a successful fishing trip would reconcile me again to their favor. But even that failed, for it was then that Jesus caught the one hundred and fifty-three great fish, I was glad for that, but again felt as if I’d let them down.
I operated then as many I see today do, in the flesh, attempting in every way known to man to prove myself worthy of the Love of our Jesus. Expecting every ‘good deed’ to be recognized by Him with favor, and of course, it was not, nor will it ever be. The flesh was not made to be perfected, and it began to sink it at Pentecost.
Without my effort, and without my will, the Spirit of God used my vocal cords to preach His message. I was changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, my corrupted flesh was set aside, and the incorruptible Spirit from within took over. Jesus, thru the Holy Spirit, filled me to the running over place of containment, for He could not be contained, and again, my life changed. My mind-set was altered from speaking only from the flesh, to allowing Him to speak thru me.
The whole world looked different, that which was out of kilter, now seemed aligned; that which carried a hint of darkness, was now brighter; the sick could be visualized as healed, the blind, as if they had vision, everything that was looked upon had clarity. And as long as I kept my eyes off myself, looking only on Him that created this world; then it was only Him that I could see. My flesh had no significance. The void that had plagued my soul for all those years was nearly gone, victory was mine.
Thinking then that the mark to be achieved, was achieved, and little did I know that much more purging was mine to be had. Although I adhered to little of the particulars of the Jewish religion, I did follow, to my shame, the prejudices taught to me from my youth. And until that evening at Cornelius’ house, and the vision of the sheet being lower down with all manner of beast, I allowed that practice to control me, but God showed me that there is no difference between Jew and Gentile. Thinking then that this error of my life had been overcome, was lifted again in pride some years later, subduing my life once more to the standards of those that presented themselves as the principles of the law.
My life was changing, this was a fact, and at each stage of change, I thought that I’d reached the end, the totem of maturity, but in reality, it was just another level of my growth, with many more changes to come.
If what would have happened, when Paul rebuked me to my face, had happened several years earlier, it would have angered me to the point of a rebuttal. But as it was; this was the one circumstance that was so sorely needed to place me on the path that I was intended for. For God had moved on Paul, so He could move on me, to once again bring me to His Graces, which at that time was essential. For revelation after revelation, and understanding after understanding, and knowledge after knowledge illuminated from within my spirit to bring the purpose of the journey to fruition.
But not until that time, those weeks, spent under the shade of that Carob tree did this entire journey really begin to find its value. Times were quiet, the noise of my soul silent, as my feet rested, my inner man was awakened, a major comfort of the Spirit was taking place. The seed had been planted decades ago, maybe even had sprouted, but then was the flowering stage of what was to come, readied to put on fruit, it was all God, for of a certainty, I Peter, couldn’t in any strength of my own, cause this growth. An awe- inspiring flow of Gods’ Love poured from the window, or the tree from which I rested, of God, and filled me to the brink of overflowing. I was no longer scared, for all fear had slipped from my being, for that which is perfect had come, and all that was in part began vanishing, for Love conquers all.
Meeting these men that camped along beside me was no happenstance, but was a true gift from God, an opportunity to show myself that that which was given; was received. I call that time; the first beginning of the rest of my purposed life. Love had entered this emptied vessel, and occupied the space reserved within me, for from it, completing this man, surnamed Peter, with the fullness of His Glory.
So being placed in this prison was no great matter to me, it was again an opportunity to shine His light in the darkness of gloom.
I had, in days past, written two epistles of short, but now, thru the hand of Jereriah, have this prospect of a chance to share with those that have interest, the historical story of my life as it evolved from a moral, but smelly fisherman, to a confused and misunderstanding disciple. The story never ends with misapprehending, no, not with the Lord, with His Truth and Love, His all, being revealed to those that seek Him. He that was called a stumbling block, is now the chief cornerstone, therefore we that follow Him are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a Holy nation, a special people to proclaim the praises of Him who called us out of darkness into His marvelous light. Who were once not a people, but now are the people of God, who had not obtained mercy, but now have obtained Mercy.
Each step in my life brought me to another place, another level of development of spiritual growth, gaining understanding and insight, but at the same time, still had at least a piece of void left in me. It was not until the total reception of Love from the ever presence of Christ filling my inner man, that total completion was had. For me, this happened in my last days, but never-theless, I was filled with who He is and where He comes from; Love. For God is Love; that is His name, and His Mercy and Grace endures forever.
And who is he that would harm you if you become a follower of what is Good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give an answer with meekness and reverence. Having a good conscience, that when they defame you as evildoers, may, by your behavior, be ashamed.
Greet on another with a kiss of Love. Peace to all, for Christ Jesus lives in all, and received by those that are awakened.
I looked Jereriah in his eyes, smiled a friendly smile, hugged him the best I could, and reminded him to not forget as God’s Word went forth from him, that where two or three are gathered in His name, Christ will be in the midst of them. And that mans’ organization of God and His bride will always fail, if adhered to; but God will never fail.
At least a dozen men came to drag my best and closest friend Peter off. Being told by him for me to remain here; I did. It is now my job to put pen to parchment; that the story of his evolution may be told to those that have ears and to those that can learn from Peters’ mistake. He had found rest in the Lord long before they came to take him away.