CHAPTER 7
(Getting Creative)
I knew that adding any additional charges to my previous 4 Federal felonies was really going to hinder whatever future employment I would try to procure. And now I wasn't even eligible to stand out in traffic and hold a stupid red flag? I knew I was really screwed. If I couldn't even get a job back holding a stupid sign then what job could I possibly get?
Dauphin County prison was a real eye opener. It wasn't like Allenwood where ya had space to spread out. The food they served us was just flat out awful. They even tried to charge us like $17 if we wanted a haircut. In prison $17 can equal an entire months pay as some prison jobs have been known to pay twelve cents an hour. The prison counselor Barb panned out to be a flat out witch and the correctional officers were always grousing about her unnecessary ruthlessness when it came to switching cells and other dangerous poor decisions. Luckily a younger brunette (possibly still in her twenties) was gunning for Barb's job and we all cheered for her hoping DCP would eventually fire the wicked witch of the East and let some young blood in there.
Evidently the young brunette that shadowed Barb was well edumacated for the position and was even currently writing her own research book about male aggression and endowment. I'm not gay but I was real curious about her writing a book about male endowment having some sort of relations with aggressive and violent behavior. I guess of all the years I have listened to 105.7 the X radio I guess it was always kind of funny when small handed Nipsey occasionally gave shout outs to what he called "our prison buddies". But if this Brunette that was shadowing Barb wasn't enough I was sure over the years that 105.7 radio was secretly shadowing me too because I clearly remember after my Federal release some goofball spitting into their mike during their funny moments saying "My Butt Itches" all stupid like while I still had a bad case of Puritis Ani. I'm not sure when that fissure finally healed but that burning itch plagued me for almost 5 years as I remember. I even recall Dr.Sollenberger (proctologist)chuckling and just weeks before I mailed a bomb advising me NEVER to go to prison. But I never listen. I don't like being robbed $8,500.00 and I was sure my extortion plan would work at the time. What else could I do? The attorneys made it clear they believed I signed some sort of waiver and therefore had no civil case!
As I lay on my tiny bed mattress once again at Dauphin County prison I realized if I wanted to survive outside of prison I better come up with a serious plan. I KNEW I HAD TO BECOME EYE CANDY TO MY NEXT FUTURE EMPLOYER.