LOST IN THE WILDERNESS
From the time we were Children, most of us have been preoccupied with the desire to feed, bath, cloth, pamper, prosper, and protect ourselves. We ran to the things that made us feel good and ran from those that makes us uncomfortable. We always wanted to be happy. Eventually when we outgrew our childish ways and realize that there is more to life, we pursued education, career, family and make name for ourselves. But we realized that there was still somethings more that we needed to satisfy us. We have always had an unquenchable desire to experience more. Even when we have enough, yet it was always never enough.
Alone here in the desert I began to remember my good old friend. I remember all of His very words right from the first time we met.
Tears never stopped rolling down my eyes as I fell into deep thoughts of hoe we have been together. I remember when He first approached Him and how I embarrassed Him and yet calm and gently patiently seek my love. I kept remembering all day long till I fell asleep.
I woke up into the thought again. I was overwhelmed by how mush He cared for me. I wondered where He could be at that tie that I left His path. 'Where could He be now?' I thought. No other though came to my mind but the thought of Him. Accepting fate was next to my mind. Giving up, I thought was the next thing to do. It was clear to me that there is no going out of the wilderness of death.
They were so sure that there is no escape to the extent that they kept no guard to secure me.
I kept wandering in the wilderness. One thing kept telling me, He would come, but I doubt it, how would He come, from where? certainly impossible. Would He send those creatures in His stories? Certainly not! It's just like fleas in a closed jar and would not come out. I couldn't figure out what next. I was just waiting to give up for death to come.
I recalled all the good things I have experienced in life, and how many things He had taught me just to console myself, but it was making me more sad.
There was no one to feed me. I was like a sheep without shepherd, whose food is no more served, and needs to care for itself; become dirty, feel worthless, endures hatred, feel disappointed and just trying to shy away from death.
Two days past, no food, I'm starving, drying up and felt abandoned. Even the stranger did not say hello to me (of course what help will that offer). It was as if I had left the world. New friends started appearing - Ravens, black birds of the sky. I think they are here to sing a funeral song, preparing me for my demise.
'This was not the type of death I ever hoped for. I have always wished to die old, placed in an expensive coffin, and celebrated with a very befitting burial, but I don't just understand, what has suddenly gone wrong? I guess I just got to the wrong hands.' I thought all day.
I cleared a part of the forest where I wandered, to write a piece of treatise to console my dying soul and thank my old friend whom I was never able to appreciate all the time we spent together. My treatise went thus:
'If you would ever be able to see this, please read. I don't know you too well, but you do know me than I do myself. I was on a quest for riches when you met me. I felt embarrassed at your quest to be a friend. I thought of it but never knew what good you would be to me, but now I know. You have taught me a lot. To endure, to love, to be generous, to be caring, and to be impartful. If there is one thing I love about our being together, it is 'following you'. I noticed your footstep in a lush, green pasture and I decided to see where they headed. I thought I was just going to a destination to be reached soon, I never knew that it is a journey that will continue over an entire lifetime. You asked me to consider your words which where; 'leave gold, pick the sword, abandon me and run' though I pursued gold and landed in the wilderness. You also asked me to consider your works and ways- they are wondrous and unspeakable. But I have one request, Please; let those your stories come true. That is my last wish. One thing I was never able to tell you when we were together is what I will say now: I LOVE YOU. Thank you for your love, because you loved me first, even before I loved you. I love you for your love.'
Now six days past, I have lost all strength, I can't stand nor walk, I was just laying there half-dead. All life was almost gone out of me. Just as I was singing my goodbye song to a world of hate and backstabbers, then I experienced a wonder. I did not believe my eyes. Is it a consequence of my almost gone soul, that I am seeing sky visions?
He touched me, the one I have been thinking of all day long. The last strength came up in me, I gave a hug. He has been searching for me all day long. 'How did you get here...' I began to weep as I broke the silence. 'Where have you been? I've missed you' I did not stop talking till He spoke a word. 'You will leave soon' He said. 'To where and how? With you?' I asked. 'You will go Home now, leave me here' He replied. 'Not without you! I've done nothing but to get into trouble without you. Please do not let me go without you' I wept. I took Him to the place I had cleared, where I wrote with my hands on the floor all I want to let Him know. He read it and wept. Then I repeated 'I LOVE YOU' and He embraced me and said 'I LOVE YOU TOO, and that is why you must leave and I must stay. I am come here to pay ransom for your lost soul'. You have to leave here tomorrow dear.
Over the night I placed my head on His shoulders as He told me some cogent things I would never forget. The night passed like a minute. It was best spent with Him. Not too long the executioner came. I was wet in tears. His kindness could not be compared to any kind. He loved me so dearly, that He gave His life for me. He said His last words;
'Through many dangers, toils and snares, you have come, though you have raced through the wrong paths, and now about to start afresh the right path,but be rest assured grace will lead you home. Now you are free from the law, tell all you shall find on the way, and when you get home tell the father how far you have come. Give account of all that have happened. Now abandon me and Run!!! Remember those words, and remember; I LOVE YOU!'
On my way back home as He has told me, I saw gold, saw silver, saw all riches all calling on to me 'pick me!', but I acted blind to them all. All that filled my heart was the death of my friend that gave me life. 'How will I pay Him back?' I had asked earlier, and all He replied was 'get home safely'. I that all He wanted from me?
He is such a wonder. He is the wonder that I have seen, no such has ever happened. He brought my life to its knees and lifted me up. He would forever remain in my heart.
How sweet He is. He was so dearing that He saved a wretch like me. He trained me. I was lost He found me. Held bound for my freedom. Who am I without me? He made me who I am. Seeing Him at home again is what I ever long for. He is an encourager, a lover, the joy of my very heart, the peace in the storm, the word, way and work that made me whole. I no longer need gold, all I want to be is to be like Him. So caring that He noted my faults and straitened me up. He noted every tear and fear I had felt. So I am resolved no longer to linger, charmed by the world's delight. Things that are higher, things that are nobler, these have allured my sight, I am resolved to go home, I will hasten to Him, I will hasten so Glad and free to that friend that gave His life for me. I LOVE HIM, HE LOVED ME FIRST. Now I'm singing a new song, making music for my FRIEND, He is my Hero, He has become my everything.