Chapter Eleven
So absorbed was Katie in her wedding, that she didn’t notice Alex was always at Carmen’s elbow. Nor did she find anything particularly unusual about the fact that Alex stayed all day Sunday and took a plane back to Houston, leaving his truck for Carmen to drive. He insisted that he would rather lease a car for a month than have to drive back, and he didn’t like the idea of leaving her with only her old truck to drive.
He must have had a premonition, because the truck broke down on her way home the following week. She walked two miles to Josh’s place. His truck was in the drive, but no one answered the door, so she walked down to the barn.
Josh wasn’t alone, though. She was surprised to see him with Lori, rolling in the hay - and there was no question about what was going on this time.
She gasped and ran from the barn. At the gate, she finally paused to catch her breath, her face still burning. She shouldn’t have walked in unannounced - but who would have thought Josh would be doing something like that? Lori didn’t surprise her, but with Josh? But then, why not? Lori had never made a secret of her feelings for Josh. Even Josh had known. So how long had this been going on?
“Carmen, wait up.”
Carmen glanced back to see a red-faced Josh striding toward her, still tucking in his shirt. She looked away from him, her face growing even warmer. What could he say?
He joined her at the gate and glanced around uncomfortably.
“Where’s your truck.”
She couldn’t meet his gaze. “Down the road a couple of miles. It broke down and I thought you could give me a tow.”
He glanced down at the barn. “I’ll go get my chain.”
“Forget it. The truck isn’t in the middle of the road. I’ll walk the rest of the way home and have Bill help me tonight when he gets off work.” She opened the gate and stepped through. “Thanks anyway.” She couldn’t believe they were talking around this situation.
Josh strode off toward his truck. “No, I’ll help you,” he said over his shoulder.
“What about Lori?” Somebody had to bring up the subject.
“She was just leaving.”
“Yeah, it looked like it,” Carmen responded dryly. “Honestly, Josh. Why don’t you just marry her?”
He opened his truck door and leaned the seat forward. “It isn’t any of your business.”
It wasn’t, but the shock was beginning to wear off now and she was beginning to feel conspicuous.
“No, it wasn’t any of you’re business when you thought you caught Alex and me, but it didn’t stop you from making your nasty accusations. No wonder you thought we were . . .”
“That’s enough, Carmen. I’m not going to even try to defend what you just saw, but I never cheated on you. This thing with Lori and me only started the other night. You made your feelings for Alex clear at the wedding - hanging all over each other and making eyes at each other across the room. You made a fool out of me in front of everyone.”
She caught her breath and stared at him. “I’m sorry, Josh. I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think you wanted anything to do with me anymore.” She hesitated, a dark thought invading her apology. “Surely you weren’t using Lori to get even. She’s had a crush on you forever.”
He jerked the chain out of his truck and stared down at her sourly.
“Don’t be vain. I wouldn’t hurt Lori just to get back at you.” He threw the chain in the truck bed. “And when you get around to wondering, Lori had enough respect for you and I that she wouldn’t horn in on our relationship, either. In fact, you’re the only one who violated a trust.”
“I never cheated on you,” she gasped. How could he say such a thing? Her eyes burned with threatening tears. “I told you we were through long time ago. In the kitchen when you and Alex . . .”
“Yeah, Alex,” he shot back. “Alex this, Alex that. Your little Texas stud had better stay out of my life or I’ll make him wish he’d never set foot in this state. First you and now Lori. What’s the matter with him? Can’t you keep him satisfied?”
She stared at him. What was he talking about? Alex was in Houston and he had been with her all the time he was up this last time. He couldn’t have been involved with Lori. Josh was jumping to conclusions again. She took a deep breath.
“Just because you sacrificed your virtue for a few moments of pleasure doesn’t mean I have tossed aside my innocence. And just because Alex went out with Lori a few times a while back doesn’t mean he’s unfaithful to me. Maybe if you’d try a trusting someone a little, you wouldn’t have to blame another man for the fact that you can’t hold a woman.”
His eyes flashed and he grabbed the front of her shirt, lifting her off the ground.
“Listen, little Miss high and mighty. You’re not doing so well at holding your man, either. Did you know he’s already called Lori several times this week?”
She gagged and clawed at his hands, struggling to take a breath. As little lights began to flash in her eyes, she managed to kick his shin. He let go of her shirt and she hit the ground like a sack of grain. She scrambled away from him, rubbing her neck as she gasped for air.
“What are you trying to do?” she croaked.
He stared down at her, obviously shocked by his own violence. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He reached down to help her up, but she ignored his hand. She staggered to her feet and tried a voice still scratchy. “I don’t know where all this anger is coming from, but you might as well get it in your head that you and I are history. I have every intention of marrying Alex, and I’m ready and willing to face a little competition. We’re not even engaged yet, so if he wants to talk to Lori, I’ll have to live with it. If you’re so concerned about Lori, I’d suggest you put a brand on her.”
He stared down at her for a moment and then started to laugh. “Hop in the truck. Let’s go get your rattle trap home.”
She glanced back at the barn. “What about Lori.”
He dug the keys out of his pocket. “Her car is parked around back. She had the crazy idea you’d be hurt if you saw it.”
She shook her head and strode around to the passenger side of the truck. As she climbed in the truck she glanced over at him and smiled wryly.
“Next time you see her, tell her I’m sorry I got in her way so long.”
He slammed his door and started the truck. Then he swung the truck around and honked, calling to Lori as she peeked out of the barn.
“I’ll be back in a minute. Carmen’s truck broke down and I’m going to tow it home for her.”
She waved. Apparently they weren’t on such bad terms after all. Finally something was working out for Josh.
Two weeks after the wedding, Carmen was browsing through some wedding pictures with Katie. Katie studied one of the pictures thoughtfully, and then flipped back to another. She pointed at a picture where Alex and Carmen were half hidden behind another couple.
“Are you and Alex holding hands, here?”
She flipped back to the other page. “And he has your elbow in his hand, here.”
Carmen glanced at the picture and shrugged. “Looks like it.”
Katie stared up at Carmen, her expression revealing surprise - and something else.
“You two are having an affair.”
Carmen flipped the page. “A relationship.”
Katie stared at her reflectively. “But I didn’t think . . .” She seemed to be at loss for words.
Carmen laughed. “Oh, come on Katie. You set us up. Now you’re surprised we fell in love?”
Katie shook her head and gazed at Carmen soberly. “I didn’t set you two up. The last time I noticed, you were fighting with each other. I never would have thought . . . I mean, you two, of all people. I know you’re looking for a husband and . . .”
Carmen waved a hand. “I know, and Alex is terrified of making a commitment. We’ve talked about it. I’m willing to wait. Isn’t it strange how our dreams can change overnight?”
Why was Katie so shaken? Alex would come around eventually. It was simply going to take time. They loved each other. That was the important thing.
Nothing more was said about the matter until a week later when Katie and Bill moved into their new home. Carmen helped them move the last of their things into the house, and as she was leaving Katie took her aside.
“Carmen. Don’t let Alex move in with you just because you’re lonely. I know you think you’re in love with him, but he can’t make you happy. Talk to him about the things you want the most. You’ll see. He’d be angry with me if I told you . . . things. Just talk to him, okay?”
Carmen stared at her. What could be so terrible about Alex that his own sister would fear to discuss with her best friend?
Carmen shook her head. “I’m not letting him move in with me - lonely or not. Not until we’re married, anyway.”
Katie sighed. “Talk to him.”
“I will,” Carmen finally promised, “but why won’t you tell me?”
Did he have AIDS? The thought sent a chill up her spine. Surely Katie would have told her if he did. Was that why she seemed so concerned that they might be having an affair? Was that why Alex was suddenly interested in making up with Katie?
“I can’t. He’s my brother and it would embarrass him. But I feel obliged to warn you anyway. Just don’t get more involved than you already are. I know how you feel about a family and all, and I don’t think . . . well, just tell him how much you want children. Then he’ll have to tell you.”
Nothing Carmen said could coax Katie to say more. For the next few days, Carmen mulled the idea over in her mind. The only thing she could think of was some kind of disease. Yet Alex seemed so healthy. What dark secret had he been holding from her that he would be forced to reveal if he knew how she felt about children? Was it because he didn’t want children? No, that couldn’t be it. A lot of men started out not wanting children, but when they saw their own children it was another story. He would be embarrassed. The only other thing she could think of was that he was a pedophile. She caught her breath. Was there another reason why Katie ran away from home?
She shook the ugly thoughts from her head and straightened, leaning on the hoe as she glanced around the garden. Standing out here imagining the worst wasn’t doing any more good than pumping Katie. She almost wished Katie had never said anything. Almost, but Katie wouldn’t have said anything unless she considered it to be extremely important.
She glanced around the lush hills. Think of something else - anything else. The house on the hill caught her eye, immediately transporting her thoughts to another sector of her mind. Someone was building a log house so close that they could overlook her farm. For the owner it was probably the perfect place for a house, providing a spectacular view. Until now she had been completely secluded. Now she felt like she was in an arena. She hacked at a piece of grass with the hoe. Maybe it was time to sell the farm. It didn’t look like she was ever going to fulfill her dream of raising a family on it anyway.
The telephone rang and she dropped the hoe, racing for the house. It was probably Katie. She was supposed to call today about her doctor visit. Carmen made it to the telephone on the sixth ring, gasping for breath as she picked up the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Hey, sweetheart.”
“Alex?”
A pause. “Someone else greets you that way?”
“No.” She fought for control of her breath, but the increased pumping of her heart didn’t help.
His voice gained an edge. “Is something wrong?” Another brief pause. “Has Josh been by?”
“No . . . Yes. I mean he pulled my truck home the other day, but . . .”
“I thought you were driving my truck?”
“Well, I am now. I blew a head gasket on mine. Josh said the engine is shot.”
“Why don’t you get rid of that pile of junk?”
“I can’t afford to. Anyway, it has sentimental value. It belonged to Dad.”
“Was it the first vehicle he owned?” the voice was sarcastic.
She laughed. “Well, he did buy it new. He was so proud of it.”
“I understand. Say no more. Just drive mine for a while. I graduate next week and I’m going to take a week off and come see you - if you don’t mind. Then I have to come back here and I’ll be out of the country for about three weeks on a sales trip - the last one.”
Next week? They could settle things then. She sighed. “I don’t mind, but . . .”
“Don’t worry. I’ll stay with Katie or get a room. I just wanted to clear it with you first.” Another pause. “I miss you, Carmen.”
“I miss you, too. It’s been so long. You should see Penny and Snowflake.”
“Snowflake must be the little white doe you decided to keep. I guess that would make Penny Tessa’s kid.”
She sighed again. “Yes, but I don’t think Penny is going to be a very good milk goat. She just doesn’t have the temperament for it. She’s always into something and the other day she was on the porch. I’m afraid she jumped the fence.”
“Yeah, well maybe she’ll grow out of it. How’s Ed?”
“As sweet as ever. He gets along great with the goats. He’s with them most of the time. I take him for a ride up the road every day, though. We’re best friends, now.”
“Great. He can tell me all your secrets.”
If Ed could actually talk, she wouldn’t be spending so much time pondering about Alex. It occurred to her to prompt Alex on the phone, but how would she broach the subject? Besides, it would be best to see his face when they talked. A week wasn’t long.