(Manuel Ortega)
Helen,
I made it... They took me.
I passed the selection.
Forgive me if I write you only now, but those of the selection process have been tough days.
It was really hard.
There have been moments when I really thought I couldn't make it.
I suffered a little cut on the tongue.
Don't be afraid, it's nothing serious. I was really tired, you know... I got sloppy for a second and it was too late, but it's nothing at all.
And don't worry: here's different with regard to when I was Vietnam.
Here everyone helps each other, you always work all together and everyone's watching each other's backs.
I know you are sad since we split... But please try to understand.
This is what I want... This is what I am.
This is my life, and finally and for the first time in my whole life, I am really proud of my self .
So, you see... I would like for you to be happy for me, because I fought with all of my strength to get what I wanted and for the first time in my life, I succeeded in something really big.
And it's a wonderful feeling.
Maybe this time I have really proved something to someone.
I Would like you to feel happy just like I do, even if I know that it's impossible because this separated us and keeps us far away from each other but please try to understand, at least.
And anyway, it won't last forever.
No one does what we do here for a long time.
Three, four years at best... Then I will get back to be a simple soldier, just like anyone else.
But until then, I will be fine here.
I will be OK.
Even the nightmares stopped since when they started training us very hard.
And if they will ever send me back to Vietnam, don't be afraid: Trautman – my commander – he's no fanatic at all. On the contrary, he has his head well screwed on.
I won't be assigned to one of those reckless medals-hunters that are always in search for troubles in order to become heroes... Trautman's nothing like that.
He is a bright one, trust me.
I miss you very much.
I know that it's over between us, but this doesn't mean that you don't have a special place in my heart any more, between the people I love the most.
Helen...
I love you and I hope you love me too, in spite of everything.
Manuel