The girl brought Ortega up the stairs holding him up by his shoulder practically carrying him.
Anything Ortega tried to look at wasn’t only blurred but out of focus as well, and climbing that staircase ended up being a long never-ending nightmare.
He struggled to make it up those stairs and when he finally did, he thought he was going to be sick.
The girl walked through the door closing it behind her, and disappeared.
Ortega threw himself on the bed.
He could barely even keep his head up anymore.
When the girl came back to his room, she was naked.
She jumped onto the bed beside him saying something in Vietnamese but he didn’t understand.
She started playing around with Ortega's trousers to get them undone.
“Alvarez” said Ortega.
He could see his own hands right in front of him, but useless to him as they seemed completely beyond his control.
He wanted to stop her. He already knew then and there that he wouldn’t have been able to do anything and he didn’t want to be humiliated because of it.
He closed his eyes tight.
Alvarez... - he thought to himself.
Then he curled up while the girl kept trying to undress him.
Alvarez's family will get a letter in a few days.
Eventually the girl, had managed to undo his trousers. Making love to that American had by that time, become an obsession for her.
It was then that she touched Ortega.
Alvarez's family
A feeling of pleasure hit him instantly, unexpectedly, unwittingly, almost unpleasant.
At that very moment, it was a complete contradiction in the true sense of the word.
The girl then curled up at the height of Ortega's whip, while Ortega caressed her hair. Touching her spine made him realize precisely how hot and alive it was, almost animal like. Under her skin, Ortega could feel her spine moving and bending like a snake.
Then, that wonderful feeling of pleasure suddenly turned nasty.
You’re the only guy in the whole wide world that can't even enjoy a blowjob... You’re a real fool Manuel.
Whose voice was that? Maybe Stephen’s? Either it was his or it was some other bully from high school.
I’m Special Forces, now.
I’m part of the SOG and I kill people for a living.
That night alone he’d killed a sergeant.
'My wife'... 'Tell my wife'... I’m not going to say a Goddamn thing to your fucking wife.
Ortega's eyes started watering.
He began to cry but the girl didn’t notice.
You love Helen – said a voice in his head.
Helen left you – answered another.
He looked at the naked back lying under him again but now, quite unlike before, that feeling of pleasure had become painful.
He couldn’t tune out all of those voices inside of him.
People die in Vietnam.
How did he die? Did he say anything? – No, he didn’t say a fucking thing, colonel.
Are you gonna talk to his wife? (He recognized that voice though, that was Johnny's).
People die in Vietnam and that's it. There's nothing else to say.
They just die.