Rebirth of Ahimsika by T. K. Raghunathan - HTML preview

Chapter5

Next day, Budhdha left the ashram pretty

early all alone ,and walked towards the

forest. He had along way to cover and

he wanted to catch up with Jagan before

sunset. He had ruled out all appeals from

other monks to take some one along. He

said the meeting must be one to one to

have any effect .Third person would only

make Jagan clam up when all Budhdha

wanted was Jagan to talk freely. It was

a punishing march under a hot sun. He

rested half way to the forest and then

made quick time to the waterfront . Sun

was on the west side of the forest and

the slanting rays cought jagan in their

reddish golden colours as he was sitting

under a banyan tree in deep meditation.

Budhdha approached from the rear not

wanting to disturb him. From the cover of

bushes, He could watch Jagan

The strong back was ramrod straight, the

shoulders broad and the muscles rippling.

The long hands were resting on his lap

the head was pointed towards east.

Budhdha moved slowly to see his front.

The finely chiselled features of his face

were impressive. The long shapely nose

and eye brows enhanced the dignity of

the face. Eyes were open but not looking,

staring as they were at the distance.

Budhdha thought those were the prettiest

eyes he had ever seen .From his place,

Budhdha could catch the decaying smell

emanating from the garland. He made

a conscious effort to ignore the smell as

it was a sensitive matter for Jagan. He

waited for Jagan to come out of the trance

he had sunk into during his meditation.

He surfaced very slowly his breathing rate

building up with amazing control. The

eyes began to move as his senses had

started registering various aspects of the

environment, the sound, light, wind and

movement.Budhdha did not move but

Jagan sensed his presence. He drew a long

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breath. He knew he was in presence of a

great Soul. Jagan controlled his reactions

expertly not wanting to acknowledge

presence of the great master. All his

senses commanded him to rise and bow

at the feet of the famous man, but he

suppressed all that with remarkable

restraint. The beast in him said ‘no, not

so fast. He is another ordinary man. A

deserter if there was one, a man who had

deserted a wife and an infant son. How

much power is required to walk out on a

6 month old. jagan was determined not

to show any sign of weakness. According

to him , these charlatans feed on our

weaknesses and make a glorious tale out

of mastering weak minds.

He continued to stare in front with out

batting his eye lids..In this game the man

who spoke first always lost. Budhdha could

feel the tremendous energy radiating

from Jagan and the animosity he was

trying to suppress. He admired silently

the enormous control the youngman

displayed in totally ignoring his presence.

He knew this gent will not talk first. He

smiled and said to himself ’I have not come

here to win a popularity contest. I have

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enormous patience because I am older. I

will succeed because I am older and not

because I am stronger. In control and

power he beats me hands down and that

is what makes this meeting important.

Just then the horse appeared from

nowhere as though he was responding

to a silent call from his master. Budhdha

had heard about Jagan’s horse and

here he was admiring it . How well they

compliment one another ..The horse was

tall and strong. He had amazingly clean

skin , all white .The legs were strong

and neck long.A horse for the long hauls

.The mane was waving in air as the horse

moved about.Budhdha thought he had

found a perfect way to make Jagan talk

The horse was standing still sniffing the

evening air and sensed the presence of the

master in ochre coloured robe.,Budhdha

Walked slowly towards the horse making

sure that horse became aware of his smell.

Getting close to the beast, he touched his

long neck and gave a nice rubdown .The

beast remained still seemingly enjoying

the soft touch of the stranger and nice

smell. Budhdha was satisfied that the

horse would behave normally. He led the

horse for a few steps and slapped its side

as the horse began to move, He walked

along and all of asudden jumped in air and

leaped to the back of the horse expertly

straddling him. He was as happy as a child

that was allowed to get on horseback

alone for the first time. He let go his hold

on the mane of the horse and spread his

hands and shouted happily.The Horse

seemed to like the feel of his new master

and galloped away merrily. Jagan did not

at all like his horse being so friendly with

the visitor.He willed the horse in his mind

to stop suddenly , put up his front legs

and dispatch the rider. A monk was not

supposed to be able to ride a rogue horse

and he could be so easily dislodged, if

the horse wanted to. Jagan’s will did not

matter to the horse and it went on to run

in a gay manner and the man on top was

able to control his moments, much to the

chagrin of jealous jagan. Slowly a hatred

towards the rider and the dis loyal horse

began to burn in his heart. The master

had settled nicely on the horse back and

the horse picked up speed and very soon

he was racing away. After what seemed

to be eternity, they returned back to the

water front,the horse slowed down and

Budhdha jumped down in an athletic

manner. He was smiling, enjoying himself,

forgetting he was a monk who had given up

all luxuries and entertainment.He made a

comment ‘excellent horse, runs very well.

I enjoyed the ride on his back.”He moved

away from the horse all the time watching

Jagan’s reaction. Jagan continued to sit

with his arms folded in front . Then Jagan

stood up reached forward and pulled the

horse towards him,but the beast dodged

him and moved slowly towards where

Budhdha was standing.

Jagan was getting annoyed with the

behaviour of his horse. He believed the

horse was wild and only he could mount

and ride it with out any trouble. So far

who so ever tried to mount that horse

, ended up with their backside rubbing

the earth or their leg broken.But this

monk had worked a magic. He believed

the horse had betrayed him.He did not

like to see the look of triumph that was

lighting up Budhdha’s face. To add insult

to injury the horse was now huddling

close to him.

Budhdha held the horse by hand, rubbing

his face with his own and gave a long

kiss on the horses forehead.’yes, I like

him very much, I think he will be a good

addition to our ashram.If you will permit

me, I will take him .’ Budhdha smiled,

mischief in every line of his face. He

knew he had reached the softest part of

Jagan and Jagan was after all a human

being with his own weakness. As a loner

Jagan did not have many friends and he

was definitely more attached to the horse

than any body else

Jagan’s eyes were ablaze in anger.”you

would not dare” He had broken the silence

and allowed Budhdha to score a point

over him

‘dare, did you say?’He was laughing aloud,’

so you can talk. Dare I shall, definitely’

Then he caught hold of the horse’s long

ear said into that loudly, ‘come friend, we

have along ride ahead of us. If we start

now, we may reach the hermitage before

it is too dark’

Jagan rose to the bait like a child to a

candy held up close.

“that would amount to stealing. You are a

saint and saints are supposed to uphold

moral. You would not stoop so low as

to steal a horse from its owner.”His was

raised and in his efforts to stay calm , the

voice shook. In a couple of long steps he

was close to horse grabbing a handful of

manes and pulled. The animal screamed

in pain but held position.

“I would not call it stealing. why not let

the animal decide if he would like to go

with me or not”

‘they call you Budhdha the enlightened.

Your conduct must be exemplary. The

world should know about this. The great

Budhdha is a petty horse thief.’ With brute

force he separated horse from standing

close to budhdha, putting himself between

the beast and the monk.

‘’Not yet , “said Budhdha cheerfully. I am

allowing the animal to decide , whether

to go with me or stay back here with you.

Every living being is free to decide his

own fate. You can not call it stealing”

‘It very much , is. You are playing with

words like all charlatans and cheap

conmen. This animal belongs to me. You

are attempting to steal it from me. I will

protect and keep what is mine’

“How?” It was a diabolical question.

The answer came un thinkingly, ’ By

punishing the thief’, his hand automatically

reached for the garland .

“Punish me ? How” He knew the answer.

‘The same way I punished all those

robbers who stole from innocent traders

and people. By cutting off a thumb of the

thief” He had taken the cutting knife from

his waist band.

“You will surely. I have no doubt at all.

Here is my hand , take the thumb if

you can,” He thrust the hand in front of

Jagan’s face almost touching his nose. In

that posture was a terrific challenge.

Jagan grabbed the out stretched hand

and twisted it violently making the monk

spin. He now pressed his hand on his

bent thigh and opened the palm on a

near by stone.The soft pink palm with

out stretched fingers looked like a tender

lotus flower held in the palm of a brute.

The cutting edge of the knife in contact

with the thumb.

There was no emotion on budhdha’s face

other than a dazzling smile as though

saying go ahead.

Jagan tried very hard not to look at face

while every cell in his body was urging him

to look at that benign face. Jagan’s eyes

were focussed on the thumb. He tightened

his grip on the hand with one hand while

other hand was ready to cut. His heart

was racing and there was a very painful

urge to cut off that damned finger. He had

done so many times before. It was the

simplest of things to do , just bear hard

on the knife and the sharp edge would

slice through with out fuss. But here his

damned hand was still. Slyly he looked

at the face of Budhdha, trying to see a

trace of fear or confusion in those eyes.

The eyes were wider than before and

they were perfectly at peace.The face

was clear. There were no wrinkles of any

sort in anticipation of pain.

‘It will be very painful , you know’

“It does not matter . Go ahead.”

‘You will bleed to death’

It is okay.

He was trying to induce fear in the mind

of Budhdha and the fear transfer effect

failed. He had to try differently. Suddenly

he lifted the knife away from the thumb ,

slashed the knife at his own wrist. A spurt

of blood hit Budhdha’s face

“you are bleeding”

Does it matter to you that Iam bleeding

“Yes.It matters to me very much. I have

taken a vow that I will not allow any

animal or human being to be hurt in my

presence. I can not allow you to hurt

yourself just to prove that a body bleeds

when it is cut. Iknow that. It does not

make me any wiser.”

You are talking like an idiot , just to

confuse me..You are a thief and I can not

let you go un punished.

Determined to do as he said , he brought

the knife edge in close contact with the

flesh of the thumb.

Come on, one cut that is all there to it.

Bear hard and shhh , the knife is sharp, it

would do the rest

The shocked , painfilled screaming faces

of scores of robbers danced in front of his

eyes.

But , ah this gent, smile was still in place,

but there was one line of worry slowly

forming.

A DROP OF SWEAT FROM HIS FACE FELL

ON THE THIN PINK THUMB.He bent low

and flexed his hand muscles for the

effort.

The horse moved suddenly with a loud

neigh and pushed hard at Jagan’s chest.

Jagan was thrown back and his hold on

Budhdha’s hand was released, the knife

fell softly on the ground.

Jagan’s anger peaked and he was wild

shouting abuses at his horse for thwarting

him.He screamed at the horse’ you are

mine and he is taking you away.I can not

allow you to go. You are mine . you are

mine only. If you betray me now, i will kill

you.

The horse did not understand. The

shouting made him nervous. He moved

towards Budhdha for comfort and that

movement enraged Jagan. Like the

proverbial madman , he lunged for the

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knife and moved to attack the horse. HE

leaped towards the horse with a cry ‘you

die now’ his hand over head ready to

plunge the the knife point into the beast’s

neck.

Budhdha moved faster. He knew he was

not strong enough to stop jagan , so he

brought himself between the horse and

the wild man.The knife plunged deep into

his shoulders and he fell with out a sound.

There was a shudder in his body before it

became inert. The horse staggered away

by a few steps. Then it came close and

stood over the body protectively.

Jagan looked at the body with blank eyes.

He was confused ‘My God, what have I

done? Have I finally become a killer after

all? An agonising question came from a

tortured soul that was just then coming to

terms with himself.The blood was oozing

from the edge of the knife still embedded

in the shoulder muscle. A sudden sense

of urgency made him jerk himself out of

self pity and act to save the fallen monk.

He bent down and lifted the inert body

delicately in his massive arms and for a

moment held it close to his chest .He could

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feel the feeble heart beat softly.He put the

body across the back of the willing horse

and stood quietly rubbing the horse’s

neck.The animosity towards the horse

had evaporated and he was expecting

the beast to understand his inner most

feeling. The beast put its muzzle close

to him as though he was comforting his

master.they walked a few steps to gether

and then he allowed the horse to pick up

speed after climbing over.with one hand

holding the body he bent over the neck

as he urged the horse to speed up to the

ashram.