Chapter 18: Operation Kick-Butt
Richie
Missions are always fun. I'm not the violent type, but there is a certain rush in beating the absolute crap out of a bad guy. I really shouldn't have been that nervous, especially since I was basically team leader, but hey, I pretty much the new guy even though I've been at the Academy for a year. No pressure though! Nope, just a couple of teenagers flying a jet a couple hundred miles towards a psychopath waiting in an abandoned amusement park. It's still better than Calculus homework, though! Normally our missions were small, taking out trouble makers, spying on suspected criminals, occasionally stalking the Dunkin Donuts for fresh donuts and coffee. For some reason, I was just the unspoken leader of the group. Astrid is too quiet and unsure, Jenna is too jumpy and trigger-happy, Mitchell is too plan based, and Zach is too tech dependent. I guess I can figure things out quickly? I just wing it though. So far, it's turned out well, all suspects caught, missions finished, and fresh donuts eaten. My biggest worry is always that I'm the reason that someone gets hurt. Besides, Jenna has more experience than any of us, so in my opinion, she should be team leader. Then again, you see where her temper got us. Hopefully, she isn't mad about us leaving her behind, she does love beating people up.
I must say, these jets are incredibly nice. Personally, me and my fat ass stay in the kitchen. I must be two people combined because those poor robotic chefs have to work double time to take care of me. Nonstop pizzas, ice cream, and celery (gotta have some balance) keep flowing my way. Occasionally I'll add a few chicken wings just to get my protein, but the worst is when I'm stressed, i.e., now and forever. I'm not kidding, my stomach is probably just a void in the center of my body. I should probably get that checked out. Zach sat next to me discussing plans for neutralizing the Jester as quickly and, of course, using the new tech he invented. Although I know he didn't want it make it obvious, he stared at me for a while, marveling at how those mozzarella sticks disappeared and never reappeared again. Astrid sat in one of the hammocks, our "beds" of sort, reading something. At this point it could be anywhere between Tyra Banks latest fashion trends to the Oxford Dictionary and World Atlas. When we get back, I'm requesting Grease to build Astrid and bag to hold all of her books. Instead of a pistol, she can throw heavy books at people. No that's a terrible idea; she'd throw them at me. I haven't seen Mitchell since he entered the cockpit, hopefully he's okay. I know as team leader I should help him or at east be his copilot, and he's chill, it's just we don't have anything to talk about. He's super athletic and calm while I'm frantic and nerdy. It's not good pairing at all.
I saw out of the corner of my eye; a big figure sit behind me. "Hey." Mitchell said. Speak of the devil.
"Hey dude. What's up?" I responded. Great conversation so far.
"I just need to talk strategy with someone who will actually understand instead of just following blueprints or sending in cameras." He ordered a chocolate milkshake and turned back to me.
"Absolutely! So, I sort of had a plan, but I'm not sure if it would work."
"Hit me with it"
I grabbed the napkin I had drawn out all of my thoughts on. It looked messy but I could still understand it, so that's really all that mattered. Don't judge me either! I grab the closest thing to write on once I have an idea in my head.
"Basically, we could scope out the park one area at a time. There's an open field to land towards the back of the park where we can land. We can start at the roller coasters and work our way forward to the Big Top at the front."
"The thing is Richie, the rollercoasters are too exposed to be a hideout, unless she's hiding in the concession stands or something. The most probable place would be the Big Top."
"Ha, I get it."
"Get what?"
"Come on Mitchell! The pun! Big Top. The Jester. A jester is a clo-"
"Yep I got the joke Richie."
He spun the chair away just in time to grab his milkshake sliding across the table, old diner style.
"I have a bad feeling about this, Richie."
"About what? We go in, blow stuff up, lock up the criminal, and leave. Easy as pi."
"Pi is not easy."
"It's a metaphor Mitchell, just relax."
He turned back to me, half of his milkshake already down in one sip. Zach would've had fun watching him too. He sucked the rest of his milkshake down without a breath and jumped up from the stool.
"I suppose you're right. We are almost there by the way. Tell Zach and Astrid for me?"
"Absolutely. Wait. Who's flying the plane?!"
"Dude, seriously? We're teenage spies that live in a secret building and fight crime with technology the American president doesn't have yet. We totally have autopilot on this thing."
I couldn't help but laugh. I have to give it to him, Mitchell is definitely the person to keep you grounded in a crisis. He turned around and walked back to the front of the plane. I heard the door open from all the way down the hall with a soft whoosh. I stood up, grabbed one last fry, and left the kitchen.
Astrid was, of course, reading. This time it wasn't a dictionary, thank goodness, it was another book from a series she's been reading. She was so engrossed, she didn't even notice me until I was standing over her.
"Hey" she said nonchalantly.
"Hey" I replied.
We have such great conversations in this group of friends, am I right?
"So, what's this one about?" I asked, trying to get a conversation started.
"A group of teenage heroes that try to save the world from an evil super villain attacking their home city."
Now, I love books, especially fiction, but who would ever read a book like that? Dumb idea if you ask me. Of course, I wouldn't tell her that.
"Cool, cool. Speaking of attacking, we are almost in Kansas. Get ready, make sure you have your gun loaded and the blueprints memorized." I said.
"I just finished them." She said, pointing to a rolled-up scroll on the table, not even diverting her attention from the book.
"Great. Meet up at the briefing room in 10 minutes."
I was just getting through the door when I heard a book slam shut. "Richie?" Astrid said from behind me.
"What's up?" I replied, walking to the chair by her desk.
"Are you scared?" she asked, finally putting her book down.
Honestly, I didn't know what to say. A good leader would've reassured her, told her everything was going to be fine, but as her friend, I needed to be honest. Plus, it's me we are talking about. I'm the furthest thing from perfect and reassuring.
"I'm absolutely terrified. I wouldn't tell anyone else on the team, but I have a very bad feeling about this mission."
"Why don't we turn this bird around then? Just cancel the mission, you're the leader after all."
There's the problem with being the leader, all responsibility falls onto me. Don't get me wrong, I love my team, the thing is someone has to do the job.
"No. We need to find Headmistress and bring her back. We aren't leaving until we complete the mission."
That was that. I was fully determined to find Headmistress and go home. Jenna would be back soon enough and everything would be restored to order.
"Richie, wait." Astrid said.
"Astrid, I really have to go, we're about to land."
"Richie there's something-"
"Astrid, we'll talk after the mission. Everything is going to be perfectly fine."
I walked out of the room before she could respond. I didn't mean to be rude, but I still have a job to do.
Of course, Zach was in his room working on another faulty invention. In the past months, I've seen him build (and destroy) incredible creations. Somehow, the all crash somewhere whether it's missing parts, some engineering failure, or literal crashing and exploding. Let's just say no one is going to be using the extra rooms for a while.
Originally, Zach tried to create a defense system for the school by making mechanical griffins to patrol the building. They eventually turned on us, and began attacking some staff and even Headmistress once. Jenna, Mitchell and I took them out with a few hard punches, well placed grenades, and several decapitations. We actually found one on the track field burned by chemicals, but no one is really sure what happened to it. The only way is if someone ran to the Chemistry department and managed to race back to smash it on top of it but we would've been there by then. Maybe Headmistress, but that's very unlikely. She was in a meeting with the other staff members. I still remember her shocked face to look out her window and see Jenna holding the head of a metallic eagle on the front lawn. The next incident involved tiny metal bugs we were going to use for reconnaissance and undercover missions, but some faulty wiring lead to them going haywire and running around the building while the shocked people. Oddly enough, Astrid, who's terrified of bugs, sprayed them with one of her terrible smelling couture perfumes and shorted out their circuits. Our most recent one involved Zach's creation of a cryogun that could freeze people. It's similar to my knife, but you don't have to impale people to freeze them. I'm not quite sure what happened with that one since Mitchell and I were on a mission in New York, but as far as I know, we now have a winter wonderland room. In fact, Zach lost that a few weeks ago and he was begging me to help him find it. Whether it's a good or bad thing, I hope we never find out. Zach is incredible with technology, but his inventions could use a little work. No one's perfect after all.
"Hey dude." I said as I walked through the door.
"Hey! Perfect timing! I need your help."
"What with exactly?" I asked apprehensively. Please don't say to test my newest invention!
"To test my newest invention, of course!"
Dammit! I really don't have time for this.
"Sure. What do you need?" Please don't say stand over there.
"Just stand over there and you'll see." He said a little too happily for my comfort.
Right now I'm 0 for 2 so I'm really hoping he's not trying to open a portal to an alternate dimension or something. He pressed a ton of buttons on his makeshift keyboard and looked up expectedly at the wall next to me. I looked exactly where Zach was but didn't see anything. Suddenly the wind started to pick up, which is odd because we are inside a plane. I saw a small black dot starting to grow on the wall. I began extremely small and slowly grew to the size of about a quarter. I stared at Zach in shock.
"Zach what is this?" I said cautiously. He just continued to stare in awe.
The dot continued to grow and the wind picked up more and more until the hair and clothes where whipping towards the center of the dot.
"Zach shut this off." I said steely. He looked like he couldn't move. I had a very bad feeling about this.
It become extremely quiet. Just the wind whipping and shaking everything in the room. There's no way Astrid and Mitchell aren't hearing this. Then, the weirdest thing happened: I heard voices. Not just any voices, Jenna and Mitchell's. The were very faint but there's no denying it. I heard some voices I didn't know too, what sounded like a ton of people talking at once. A ton a screaming girls and guys from this strange ever growing hole in the wall.
"ZACH!" I screamed. "TURN THIS OFF RIGHT NOW!"
The black dot was now the size of my head and starting to show some color. Bright green, blue and red in then streaks. The strange thing, not that this wasn't strange already, was that it actually had depth to it. My idea was confirmed when the nightstand suddenly flew from the bedside into the black dot and disappeared.
"ZACH TURN THIS OFF! THAT'S AN ORDER!"
And with that, the dot vanished. No more wind, no more colors, and no more voices. Zach and I just stared at each other in awe. His machine was sparking and sizzling, the lights flickering. That thing must've used a ton of power.
"That. was. AWESOME!" he slowly turned to me and screamed.
"What was that?!" I asked because between the ever increasing black hole, the random and slightly ominous wind, and Jenna, Mitchell, and some random people's voices coming through some strange portal, I've reached my limit of weird.
"This is going to be a lot but, a few weeks ago, Headmistress asked me about the possibility of hypothetical self contained realities."
"Headmistress wanted you to investigate alternate universes?!" I screamed. You can tell that this is serious stuff because I'm about to rip Zach's head off for not telling me.
"Yeah! Isn't that awesome?!"
Judging by the way he recoiled, I must've given him quite the glare.
"Nope, never mind. It's totally not awesome. It's super lame, actually."
I sighed. "No it's absolutely incredible that you managed to make a working portal, I just wish someone would've consulted me on this."
"I'm so sorry, Richie. You know you'd me the first person I'd talk to but Headmistress said this was Class-I-fied."
Now, I know what you're thinking, cool it's classified, super secret, nobody touches, spy business, right? Wrong. There's very few things I know of that are Class-I-fied. The I stands for If-anyone-finds-out-you're-buried-alive-as-we-dance-on-your-grave, so it's fun stuff. For example, the whole Preston situation is supposed to be Class-I-fied but you really can't hide something that big, especially when Jenna pretty much breaks down into tears even hearing the guy's name. So if Headmistress found out I knew about this portal, there's a very good chance Grease Monkey is getting a promotion.
"Don't even worry about it, Zach. This will be our little secret."
He expression changed faster than the weather. In Florida, that means in a blink of an eye.
"But," and here we go with the expression change, "Headmistress can never, ever know about this, especially since its Class-I-fied."
"No problem, Richie! You'll be the first person I come to about questions."
We first bumped like the bros we are and that was it. I walked out of the room while he continued to fiddle with the portal making machine. Perfect timing too because we had to meet in the briefing room before the mission began. As far as Mitchell said, we probably have about 5 minutes until we land. I knew it would be hell to Zach out of that room while he was concentrated on that machine, anyways, so I went to the front of the plane.
Okay, so we don't exactly have a "briefing room", normally it just takes place where ever we feel like it. Besides, it gets the job done. Sometimes its in the bedroom, or the kitchen (now banned due to my nervous snacking and I can't eat and talk at the same time), but mainly its in the cockpit. This time Mitchell flew the plane while Astrid and I talked because, as usual, Zach was late.
About 5 minutes later, Zach walked into the room as if we were meeting for lunch.
"What's up?" he said giving us his "All right- time-to-kick-butt-and-maybe-mess-around smile.
"Let's get the briefing started."
Our briefings aren't the briefings you see in movies where everyone is is a soundproof room while some British lady talks through a hologram with maps popping up like she's the Channel 6 weather lady, in fact, think of Study Hall but with battle plans and strategic weapon decisions. To be honest, Study Hall in high school was nothing like that making this my favorite Study Hall ever!
Everyone sat in their chairs facing the front window, Mitchell as the pilot, me as the co pilot, and Astrid and Zach sitting behind us. I tapped the buttons on the handy dandy keyboard which popped up in front of all of us.
"Okay team! We are landing at the back of the park which is right here." I circled a large open field which must've been an old picnic area. " We are paired together, Astrid with Zach and Mitchell with me. Astrid and Zach take the left flank and investigate the petting zoo and animal exhibits. Mitchell and I will check the roller coasters around the right side." I zoomed in on the map to circle the area designated to my team. "And lastly, we will meet at the front of the Big Top, right here." I drew arrows to the front of the park and little people (us) in the front of the bright red and white dome, just for aesthetic. "If you find anything, call us on the walkie talkie but do not engage!" I looked back at Astrid and Zach, "Any questions?"
Zach slowly, and awkwardly, raised his hand as if we were in kindergarten.
I sighed. "No, Zach, you cannot stop for cotton candy while passing a concession stand."
He slowly put his hand down and sunk into his seat.
"Alright team let's move it!"
Mitchell set the plane in park and lowered the back landing door as we piled out. Zach and Astrid split to the left while Mitchell and I split to the right. Mitchell's bat banged against his back as we sprinted through the roller coaster beams. I had my knife out, following close behind. Every now and again, I saw Astrid and Zach running through the zoo, passing by empty animal cages. I saw Zach eyeing an old concession stand. It took all of my training and willpower to not sprint across the field and slap Zach across the face. If there's one thing we agree on, its that food is the most beautiful and precious thing, but there's no way food would still be there. This park has been abandoned way too long and besides, its probably spoiled by now. I must've sent some psychological brainwaves to Zach because he left the stand. Then, I saw Astrid walk in front of him and appeared to be scolding him for his insolence. Really, we are a fantastic team as you can tell.
We carried on, looking around the rollercoasters and ultimately finding a few old soda bottles, some fliers billowing in the wind, and a pair a sunglasses. We met Astrid and Zach at the front of the striped Big Top.
Zach turned around when he heard us coming. He was obviously fighting with Astrid, no doubt about something related to the concession stand, but they dropped it quickly.
"Petting zoo is clear" he said in a hushed tone.
"Rollercoasters are all good" I responded back.
"You guys ready?" Mitchell asked.
Before anyone could respond, he already had his flashlight on, baseball bat off his back, and walked int the Big Top.
Zach mumbled behind him, "No but sure lets just walk into the evil psychopath's lair because why not?!"
**************************************************************************
The Big Top was unbelievably dark. Even with the flashlights, we could barely see anything. The stands rose around us, an eerie silence filled the room.
"Is this a bad time to say I hate clowns?" Astrid asked.
A familiar voice from over the PA system said, "Indeed it is, dear."
Zach powered up his Megaman gun, Astrid whipped out her gun, Mitchell nearly threw the bat off his back, and I unlatched my knife from my belt. We stood around each other in a circle. Slowly turning, watching for the infamous villain who was now stalking us. Even worse, only Mitchell and Zach had a small idea of what she looked like, but Astrid and I were completely clueless.
"About time you five, oops, I mean four." She began to giggle uncontrollably and talk to some people in the background. "After all, Operation: Expedition worked flawlessly."
"Operation: Expedition? What exactly was that?" I asked. Now that I think about it, it was a rather stupid question.
"Think about it Richie, you are the smart one in the group after all. What could that possibly mean?"
We slowly made our way from in between the bleachers and towards the center ring.
"Where is Headmistress?!" Zach yelled.
"Well, Zach, straight to point aren't we?"
The voice was getting closer and closer, or someone could be slowly turning up the volume, but I have a hunch my first guess is correct. A blinding lights flashed on at the other end of the tent to reveal an all too familiar face. Dressed in purple leggings, a dark red skirt, and a black and white checker board crown, Headmistress stood in between the bleachers on the opposite side of the entrance. Honestly, she looked like nightmare but its better than her being dead. I couldn't see clearly, but she had some sort of face paint in green, red and purple, but no matter, she is safe and we've completed the mission.
I sighed in relief as if all of my stress had magically lifted off my shoulders. I ran towards her, like a lost child running to their mother. I felt Zach and Mitchell's hand touch my shoulders, but they couldn't get a well enough grip to grab me. I should've known as soon as I looked back something was very wrong. Mitchell and Zach looked horrified, while Astrid looked completely perplexed. I was no further than a few feet from Headmistress when I finally stopped and froze in place at my sudden realization of why the rest of my team was not overcome with joy that our mission was finally completed.
Headmistress raised a bright red, conical loudspeaker to her mouth and said, "Mission accomplished" with an all too well described familiarly menacing smile. "Congratulations, dear! You've found The Jester."