Chapter 20
The doctor has a strange look on her face as she is about to let me go, as if she wanted to ask something or knew something she hasn’t told me yet.
I am clueless about what any of this means or what I will do next. All of a sudden I feel overwhelmingly lonely, and I realize I haven’t spoken to Joshua for way too long. What is it, one, two days? He must be wondering what is happening to me.
“Is there WI-FI here?”, I ask anxiously
“Yes, in the waiting rooms and in the lobby”, she tells me, observing my hands as I run my fingers along the sides of my smartphone
“Will I have to pay when I sign out?”, I want to know, hoping the bill is reasonable
She shakes her head no.
“The nurse told me a relative of yours already paid”, she tells me
“A relative?”, I repeat, bugging my eyes
“Do you not have relatives here?”, she says, observing me closely
Instead of answering her question I want to know if my relative is still here, but he’s gone.
“You are scared”, she tells me, and I am surprised because I don’t feel this way, not now, although if I paused to analyze myself I would likely reckon I am.
“I’m fine”, I lie
“If you need help, please call me”, she says and scribbles her name and phone number on a piece of paper she hands me
I attempt to produce a smile.
“Thank you”, I say, already on my way to the door, pierced by her inquiring gaze.
I walk to the elevator, it takes forever to reach my floor but at last I am in the lobby with WIFI access. It’s an open network and who knows how safe it is to open my emails there, but this is what I have now. I read Joshua, he’s concise, almost curt, the tone is ostensibly chill but because this is Joshua’s writing I know its meaning beyond the words - staying calm is what he’s trying to do. I’ve just replied and pressed “send”, and I am still staring at my phone’s screen to make sure my message is going through when I sense someone’s presence on my back.
I freeze, and I feel someone slip something in my pocket, while I keep staring at my phone. When I turn around I see the guy who did it, and I can swear it’s the same one I’ve met on the plane. My mouth drops open for the briefest instant, but then I catch myself and smile to the receptionist who has probably followed the scene while pretending to leaf through some paperwork on her desk.
“Thank you”, I say with a positively controlled voice
She smiles back at me
“Enjoy your day”, I add, pushing the door with deliberate resolution, with the note burning in my pocket.