THE PROGRESS OF COMMUNICATION
I woke up. I had set the alarm with Wax Simulacra by Mars Volta. The fast drums in the intro were just perfect to wake up and to be alert all morning. After drinking a cup of coffee (ignoring the homeopath), I hummed the drums of the intro of Wax Simulacra. Fifteen minutes later, the devil came.
-What are you humming? Sounds neat.
-Wa…
-Wax Simulacra by Mars Volta, I’m kidding, I know it.
-…
-Today, I’ll let you chill generally. But you’re not going to get on my case. Slowly, you’re gaining fame…
-What do you mean?!
-What with Patton, Zach, Nuno. The communication you have in here gathers like dynamics and the more you talk with famous people, the easier it becomes that some other famous person can’t ignore you. The same would occur, for example, if you spoke to a girl in here and then went to speak to a friend of hers. Without her knowing that you spoke to her friend, it would be easier for her to talk to her because you would convey familiarity. Something like the weight of familiarity. Patton, apart from the fact that he’s an idiot, and searched for me, felt familiarity with you, which was connected, of course, to me and… he found you more easily. What can I say. Take advantage of it.
-How? I don’t want to appear just like that in front somebody that I don’t know.
-There is a “knock”. It’s a way to “knock on somebody’s door”. And if he wants, he talks to you. The knock can be plain or it could be accompanied with some message. As for example, a musical piece. Generally, don’t be bothered that you are going to annoy because the “knock” still has a discreet nature in here.
-And how does this happen?
-Noob! That’s how….
-He showed me how it’s done and it was easy, almost obvious.
-To whom are you going to knoooock? he said in a mood to start his bullshit again.
-You said that today you would let me chill.
-Yes, true. The time has not come yet.
-What time?!
-Nothing, he said and smiled politely. Simply, I’ll be present today. Know that…he continued.
-Ok. I’ll talk to the drummer of Mars Volta. Thomas P. I’ll think of a smart musical phrase to “ knock” .
-A good idea would be to use a “gap”
-What…?
-The gap is when you show something half-finished to somebody else and you call him to fill it in.
-Nice. I’ll find a song without any drums and I will show it to him with a “gap.”
-Do you think that you are going to be the first to do that…? And do you have such a high idea of yourself that firstly he will like your song and secondly that he will be occupied with it. Think of something smarter.
-Ok. I’ll find a drum piece and only one part will be missing, at the point when all the rest of the musical instruments pause and there is only a drum fill. I’ll leave a “gap” in the pause, so he can find the drum fill.
-Gap in the pause, what a great musician…
-Musiciaaaan, I said and showed myself, making fun of him because he wasn’t one.
-Fuck you. Anyway, I believe you have to try harder for him to notice you.
-You think so?
-Eh yes, he’s a great musician. He can’t be occupied with bullshit. And don’t put your own drums. Suggestion…
-Let me think about it…I’ll take Wax Simulacra and divide it into parts. The first part will be without drums and instead of electric instruments, it will have classical, like the cello, the contrabass. Like a cover to classical music. Ah and it will close with fade out and the second part will begin with fade in, which will again be without drums, but with a symphonic black metal sound. Then the third part will begin again with fade in with a swing feel and, lastly, the last part of the medley will enter with a clarino (a Greek instrument). I’ll “knock” at the count of four with the hi-hat.
-There goes our clarino player. Hahahaha. Think of an outro. For an outro, I’ll put a fill that he always plays in the song. I don’t feel like searching it anymore.
-Eh I think he might show some interest.
-Don’t do anything stupid…..
-No, I admire music……
So after I had set up the idea in my head, I knocked. With the hits on the hi-hat, he just turned. In the first part, he played two hits. In the second, he started shredding……both the devil and I stood there with our mouths open.
Dev.-Make up other parts so he can continue playing.
Chr.-Shut up.
Dev.-Be careful how you ta…….
Chr.-Shhhhh
Dev.-You shhhhh
The piece finished and Thomas continued playing, ignoring the outro.
Chr.-It’s a good thing you suggested putting an outro.
Excited the devil didn’t answer. A minute later Thomas stopped. I clapped. The devil did the same, but Thomas didn’t hear him because he wasn’t in front of him.
Chr.-Hahahaha. He didn’t hear you. Not even with clapping can you participate in music.
Dev.-Do you want to chill today or should I start fucking around?
Chr.-Nah I wanna chill.
Dev.-Shut up then.
Thom.-Nice medley. I enjoyed jamming over it. Did you use any spells?
Chr.-Thanks. My creation. No spells.
Thom.- Respect. What’s your name?
Chr.-Chris.
Thom.-Nice to meet you.
Chr.-Mice to eat you too, the devil made me say. Thomas took it as a joke and the devil was turned off because he wanted to have cut the conversation.
Thom.-Hahaha.
Dev.-Very funny asshole, he said without Thomas hearing him.
Thom.-Is someone there? You seem distracted.
Chr.-Νο. Not really...
Thom.-Wait I'll call Omar and Cedric (members of Mars Volta).
Chr.-Cool. I'll call Patton and another friend of mine. Nuno. He is a musician too.
Thom.-You know Patton?! Fuck, great musician. Wait...
A minute later, we all gathered. I, Thomas, Omar, Cedric, Nuno and Patton. After introducing one another, we started talking.
P.-Mars Volta… I like your music. Bedlam in Goliath is a really good album.
-Yes. Although we had a rough time recording it. Difficult period...
P.-I know...Didn't you mess with...
O.-Yes. Let's talk about something else.
N.-It's a great album whatsoever. I prefer At the drive in, 'cause I play punk rock. Haha.
O.-Yes our previous band was more punk oriented.
C.-With a different context though...
Chr.-The context in music is very important. It's what defines the sound of every album, every band...
P.-It's by itself the definition of the sound of every album, and even every musician.
N.-True. Inside here, where we speak, you can see an image of the context of music.
Chr.-Kills the mystery. That thing where music invades your subconscious and your mind translates it into feelings and thoughts. That subconscious perception of the context is a basic part of music.
P.-Understanding music too.
C.-I agree. I believe that generally, our subconscious helps us understand things better. It's like an invisible translation.
Thom.-Yeah, but the way the context works is weird. If you listen to a song backwards, does the context remain the same?
P.-Wow really fucking deep...
At that point Patton went to add something, but my breathing difficulty interrupted him. The “breath” which saved me from the street fighter was coming back. I felt more and more self-confident. The conversation had stopped because I had a strange expression on my face. Everyone was looking at me. The devil said “oh no, here we go again,” sighed and sat in a corner (without being visible to the others) to see what was going to happen…
Ν.-Are you ok?
Thom.-Yeah what's wrong?
I closed my eyes for five seconds.
Chr.-I think I can play Wax Simulacra backwards, with my head.
N.-What? That's impossible.
O.-I don't believe you. Is there a spell?
Chr.-With no spell...
T.-I don't think there is a spell that can do that...
Then I played the first thirty seconds of Wax Simulacra backwards, with my mind. And without a spell!
C.-Amazing!
O.-Wow!
P.-I even have a spell detector and it's negative.
N.-Yeah me too. Zero spell...
Chr.-Now a version with regular drums and the rest of the instruments backwards.
Thom.-Fuuuuck!
N.-Sounds neat.
Chr.-Now a version...with regular drums, the rest of the instruments backwards and one second forward.
P.-Fuck it's better than Mr. Bungle (Patton’s old band)!
O.-You're really fucking talented.
C.-Yes.
Chr.-Thanks. Now, Cedric. Think of Aberinkula, the first song in Bedlam in Goliath.
C.-Ok.
Χ.-I can tell you, what was the first thing that popped in to your mind, while thinking of it.
C.-No shit!
All-...Tell us, tell us!
X.-The tin man from the Wizard of Oz movie.
C.-Fuck...True.
O.-Fuck..
N.-It was the fucking tin man, it was the fucking tin man! Yeeeaaaah!
At this point, as the strength that found me developed I came up with inexplicable knowledge.
Chr.-Do you know what the «deepest part» is?
P.-I think I know. It's an image, inside here, that is responsible of connecting all the... “ ingredients” of something. For example, what connects a song or a ...a movie and makes it a unit, can be demonstrated with an image. Only inside our heads though.
Chr.-Εxactly. The image may not be easily comprehended, but we' re slowly building a language, inside our heads that can translate those images. Not into words though. The understanding can only be accomplished in our heads and be communicated with images.
P.- Yes. Like a mind to mind communication with incomprehensible images. By the way, a cult is emerging in the...What's it called?
Chr.-Communication with capital c or msn.
P.-Cool. What I was saying is that a cult is emerging in the msn, on finding the «deepest parts» of stuff. There's a «deepest part» in anything really. Songs, paintings, books, even ways of thinking. No one, has achieved to find a «deepest part» yet.
Chr.-I think I can do it, but it's really difficult.
P.-Get the fuck outta here...
Chr.-I think I can do it with something easy. Like a stupid song or something.
N.-Mary had a little lamb?
Chr.-Wait I'll try...
I closed my eyes and two minutes later I found it. I show it to them…..
P.-Fuckkkk! Congratulations. You're the first person on earth, who found a «deepest part».
Everyone was moved and was hugging me.
Ν.-...Fuck. Isn't there a Mars Volta song that says «Never heard a man, speak like this man before». I wanna dedicate this to you.
O.-Don't use that...
N.-Why?!
C.-Long story. Don't give a shit, though.
Chr.-Wanna jam?
Thom.-Yeah. Why not.
Chr.-Thomas will give four and we’ll jam on Wax Simulacra. Everyone will start alone in their head and at some point we’ll start showing, still we start jamming.
Chr.-Ok. Let’s start.
Thom.-One, two, three, four….
Each one of us played his own version of Wax Simulacra in his head without showing it. The only thing that could be heard was Thomas’ counting. First Patton, who didn’t know the words of Wax Simulacra, came in. So, he sang the line “Never heard a man speak like this before”. Nuno followed doing a duet with Patton. At this point, the devil got jealous and wanted to participate, but as soon as Omar and Cedric came two seconds later, he understood that he would only destroy the jam. Omar was playing the guitar in his characteristic way while Cedric sang Wax Simulacra. At that point, I entered with a bass with effects, simply trying to keep the beat in the jam and at the end Thomas entered and soloed with polyrythmics. The result was tremendously good. We kept playing for about twenty minutes. When we finished, we discussed little about which parts of the jam we each liked the most and then we split. A minute later, Patton and Nuno came again.
P.-I would consider working with you.
N.-Me too. On a different project though.
Chr.-Ok. We’ll discuss it another time.
They said goodbye and left. The “breath” had started to weaken, but it hadn’t gone yet. I was enchanted by my new life, but also by my abilities. As narcistic as that might sound. As the devil wasn’t paying attention, I was thinking of ways to take advantage of the new situation as long as I had the “breath” .More specifically, I was thinking about chicks. Paris Hilton and Tracy Bonham came to my mind. After rejecting speaking to them, I wondered whether you could have sex through msn. As soon as I thought about it, the devil who was actually paying attention…..used my question as a “knock” to Paris Hilton and Tracy Bonham. Both of them laughed…
Par.-Knock, knock, someone wants to fuck.
Tr.-Hahaha. You fucking loser.
Par.-Yes, people fuck in here, but I guess they don’t fuck with you.
Tr.-People even have group sex in here. Haven’t you heard anything? Haha. We’re outta here.
Par.-Don’t come asking, if you use condoms in here. Bye.
Chr.-Fail…, I thought and the “breath” gradually disappeared. I decided to chill out a bit and think about something else. After some time, I ended up thinking about chicks again. And more specifically, one chick with whom I was completely in love with the last eight years. Aliki…
Aliki was a brunette, with a beautiful face, unusual body analogies and a characteristic beauty mark on her cheek. She went to the same school as a friend of mine and at one of their school’s celebrations, I fell in love with her. My friend didn’t really know her, so it was difficult for him to introduce her to me, even though I had broken his balls to introduce me. Aliki was a year younger than me and was usually with someone when I ran into her at my friend’s school. The only thing I had managed to do was to say hi to her a year ago at the shop where she worked. She smiled and answered with a “how are you?” It was the only communication I had with Aliki. She was for me one of those girls whom you fell in love with for years, but for one reason or another, it was impossible to happen. I was relaxing and I was thinking about her. From what I had gone through for her until how I was shyly to meet her. As the situation was depressing, I went to the wine cellar and took a bottle of gin which I found. I searched the refrigerator for a tonic, but I didn’t find one so I started to drink. The more gin I drank, the more I wanted her. Having drunk half of the gin, I started crying. After crying on and off for about ten minutes, I took the drunk decision to talk to her. However, I wasn’t ready. I drank another two beers, threw up and made some coffee to get with it and start thinking seriously about how I would speak to her through Communication. I had to think of something clever.
So after rejecting about ten ideas, I settled on this. In the msn, you could show a feeling like an image. I thought of “knocking” with a message of the image of the feeling you have when you get stuck when trying to talk to a girl. After fifteen minutes, I got my shit together and I “knocked”. She didn’t answer…Within seconds I came up with the idea to “knock” first with the image of the feeling which you have when you are thinking about talking to a girl and another “knock” with the image of the feeling having to do with your decision to talk to her. She smiled and I appeared in front of her.
-Hi, she said to me…
-Hi, how are you? I said uneasily.
-Ok. Aren’t you the friend of …
-Of Petros, I said interrupting her. Sorry, I interrupted you, I continued.
-Hahaha. How are you?
-Ok.
A moment of silence followed. Aliki spoke first.
-Well, say something…you wanted to meet me.
-Eeeeeeh…..
-Hahaha. I’m just kidding. I like to put people in a difficult position. Chill. I’m not doing something.
-Hahaha. Are you still working in the shop?
-No, they fired me.
-You’re kidding again. Hahaha.
-No, unfortunately, I’m not.
-Oh and I’m laughing like an idiot. Why did they fire you?
-Because I killed my boss.
-So who fired you then?
-Hahaha. Good point. That asshole made me work overtime without paying me and he threatened to fire me if I didn’t work overtime. Eh, so, I said fuck you in the end and he fired me.
-What an asshole.
-Stop pretending to be a hero.
-…
-Hahaha. I’m kidding again.
-Fuck you.
At that point, the ice melted.
-Are you alone in this period of time?
-What do you mean? Couldn’t you ask me what kind of music I like to listen to?
-It was obvious that you are a progressive electro latin girl. So I didn’t ask.
-Hahaha. And you are a post thrashcore guy. So, I didn’t ask.
-…
-Hahaha. No, I’m not with some guy or with some girl.
-Hahaha.
-Hahaha.
-…
-Neither am I…
-With some girl or some guy? To know whether you are bi or not…
-What’s the difference between a bi-sexual or someone who is obsessed with shit?
-No difference, same shit.
-OOOK….you can’t be bi-phobic. Be bi-acceptual.
-But if I were necrophile, I would be die-sexual.
-I think you overdid it.
-It’s what happens when you try to impress a girl and you end up being more extreme than GG Allin.
-Hahaha. That works only on me?! She said ironically.
-Can I make up for it?
-No…
-And if you don’t want me?
-You put me in a difficult position.
-What’s it called when…?
-Don’t say it…she interrupted me.
…..Then we looked at each other intensely and despite the rawness of the conversation, we started to make out. Making out through the msn was not like the real thing, but it was with Aliki, so, I shut up.
-Time to have sex, funny guy.
-E. Don’t have an orgasm just because of my jokes.
-Poser.
We had sex and we hung out and I smoked. My dream had come true…Sex through msn was a brain thing. That is, you didn’t have to do anything with your body. So, you could have sex without anyone on the outside understanding anything. Except for, of course, the erection.
-What does an anti-smoker say after sex? said Aliki smoking.
-….?
-Typically, he makes a speech against smoking.
-Hahaha. What does a necrophile’s chick say after sex?
-You overdid it again. What?
-Nothing.
-Hahaha. Are you still trying to impress me? We had sex…
…After we had sex again, we fell asleep in each others’ arms.
Next morning, Nuno came and interrupted my dream.
-Dude, wake up!
-I’m fucking sleeping with a chick. What?
-Yeah, I saw her. We gotta talk about making music together. The project…
Al.-(yawning) Good morning. Who’s that?
Chr.-That’s Nuno, baby,…
Al.-Baby?! I know you two hours. I’m just kidding, baby, half-ironically.
Ν.-Stop the shit, we gotta talk.
Al.-I’m going to make coffee and I’ll be back, she said sleepily.
N.-So we form a band, inside here and then you come find me somehow. Let me think. I'll give you my e-mail. Show me that riff you wanted to show.
Chr- (yawning). Ok. Check it out.
N.-Wow sounds like A wilhelm scream.
Chr.-Yeah that's why I wanted to show you.
N.-...Wait fucking Patton is here.
P.-Dude, we gotta work together. Woork.
Chr.-Hey Patton...I'm forming an msn band with Nuno. Yeaaah!
P.-...Well are you going to work with me or with him? You gotta choose.
N.-Yeah you gotta choose. It's a full time project.
Chr.-You're fucking dumb. I'll work with both of you.
P.-...
N.-...
P.-Fuck you..., he said after looking at Nuno.
N.-Fuck you, dude. Who will you work with, duuude?
P.-Listen I've got a lot of bands. I don't wanna play music. I wanna do something else.
N.-What like, fucking off?
P.-No, like starting a relationship with your dumb girlfriend. Who will you work with?
Chr.-I can't choose. Can I work with one of you at first and then work with the other one.
P.-Yeah, who will be first?
Chr-....
N.-Coin toss? I get head.
P.-No, I fucking get head.
N.-No, you fucking give head.
Chr.-Fucking morons.
At this point, Aliki came smiling.
Al.-You gathered, huh?
P.-Who's that?
Chr.-My girlfriend, I said joking.
Αl.-I'm not your fucking girlfriend, she said with a pretentiously slutty attitude. I see you have famous friends, she said and kissed me.
P.-...
N.-Coin toss!
After tossing head or tails, Patton won...
N.-Fuck...Well how long are you gonna be working together?
P.-Don't know. It depends on what we're gonna do...Don't worry, we'll inform you.
N.-Oook, gotta go.
Chr.-Bye Nuno.
P.-Go fuck yourself, he said as soon as he left. So what do we do? he continued...
Chr.-I don't know. Since you don't wanna make music...
P.-Wait...Music...No. Movie...No. Art...
Chr.-...Νο. I suck at art.
P.-I suck a tart too, said Patton sucking on a tart.
Chr.-What's a tart?
P.-Nothing. English humor...Science...no.
Chr.-Wanna make a fucking video game?
P.-Well... Yeah why not. You mean the conception of a video game? Cause I don't know anything, about programming stuff.
Chr.-Yes, of course.
P.-Ok...How do you start making a video game?
Chr.-Don't know. You think about the main characters. The plot isn't that important. I mean you have first person shooters and fighting games.
P.-True. Who will be the main character or characters?
Chr.-Could be us. I'll be the bad guy. With a different name though.
P.-Ok. I'll be the good guy. My name will be Seth...
Chr.-Ok, Seth... I wanna make a fighting game, with different context though. Like...like a fighting game with sounds.
P.-Yeeeaaah....Could be. Every character has sound...or a bunch of sounds and some sounds beat other sounds.
Chr.-Or do certain damage and lessen the «life» of a character.
P.-Yeah that's better. Let's do that. Every sound should have a move too, so it's not like an annoying noise pollution.
Chr.-I agree...I want something deep in the game.
P.-Something with the «deepest part»?
Chr.-Fuck yes! Something with the «deepest part» of every character. Like a special sound/move based on the «deepest part».
P.-Can the image be translated into sound?
Chr.-Yes, if you pass it through a filter.
P.-Yes...
Chr.-I can pass all the characters' «deepest parts» through a certain filter, with my head and create their special sounds. The move will have nothing to do with the sound. It'll just look good.
P.-Can you do that? Which filter?
Chr.-I'll try on different filters on Seth, and choose the one that sounds better. It will sound better for the other characters too.
P.-How do you find a filter?
Chr.-I'll think of a cool sound and I'll find the logic link between it and Seth's «deepest part». I'll connect that logic link to the other characters' «deepest parts» and some sounds will come out. I'll find the «deepest part» of the combination of those sounds and we have a filter.
P.-Ok my fucking brain hurts. We'll continue tomorrow.
Chr.-Ok. Bye Patton.
P.-Bye
Αl.-What happened, did you finish?
Chr.-Yes, you feel like hanging out?
Al.-Actually, I have some things to do. I’ll come by later.
Chr.-Ah, ok…don’t get yourself fired again.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, she kissed me and left. What got into her? I thought ... Maybe she has problems. When she comes back I’ll ask her discreetly. Oh, Aliki...
The rest of the day I spent waiting for her to come. To show character, I neither “knocked” nor talked to her. Towards the end of the day, I decided not to wait for her and think of the video game. Two or three good ideas came to me and before the fourth one came, I fell asleep….
The next day, as soon as I woke up, I thought of going to Patton to continue the video game. The two, three ideas I had found were good and I wondered if he had also found something. So I found Patton…
-Hey, Patton.
-Hey, he said with a very serious expression which seemed strange to me.
-Well…I found some stuff, on the video game. I didn’t find any filters, but I thought about some characters.
Someone was about to come and Patton withdrew.
-Oh really? That’s …Wait. My girlfriend.
-Wow, Patton’s got a girlfreundin. Hahaha.
I immediately stopped laughing when I saw Aliki…They both looked at me with a serious apologetic expression.
Al.-We’re together now.
P.-Yeah, I’m sorry it just…happened….
Chr.-For fuck’s sake. For fuck’s sake, I said not being able to hide my disappointment. When did this all happen?
Al.-I thought that we just made out. I didn’t want to hurt you!
Chr.-You can’t understand how important you were for me before I spoke to you. For years! I said in front of Patton.
Al.-Look, you can’t just make out with a girl and then the next day confess to her that you were obsessed with her for years.
Chr.-But all those moments? Didn’t you feel it too?
Al.-Hasn’t it ever happened to you to make out with someone for two hours and then for something else to come up? Because I didn’t go after it, it just came up.
Chr.-So you care whether you went after it or it just came up?!
P.-Can you talk about that in private? I don’t have a problem if you do that. And I’m sorry dude, I didn’t know you were in love.
Chr.-Fuck you, Patton.
P.-That’s a pity…you should talk in private with each other. I am leaving, so if you wanna talk, talk. Bye, love.
Chr.-…
Al.-….It won’t last long. We are just making out….
Chr.-And you’re telling me?! Have you any idea how you are making me feel?!
Al.-You’re an asshole! I didn’t become your girlfriend. In two hours! You think you rock so much?!
Chr.-Fuck you groupie! You didn’t feel a thing…
Al.-Firstly I’m not a groupie. And secondly I did feel something but to put it rawly, it wasn’t enough to keep me away from Patton!
Chr.-I’m leaving…
Ten minutes later I went to Patton.
Chr.-You’re a fucking dickhead.
P.-You’re an immature brat.
Chr.-Is she that important to you?
P.-No, but I like her…And it’s none of your fucking business. I don’t wanna make the video game with you if you’re acting like that. Cause I didn’t know the situation. She didn’t mention anything, anything about being in love with you, so I thought that you were only making out.
Chr.-I can’t continue the game either. And I won’t mention anything about your dumb excuses.
P.-So I guess the game’s over…
Chr.-Yeah, game over.
P.-So, I’m leaving. It was nice meeting you.
The day passed with a bottle of gin. When it finished I wanted to buy weed, but my friends had told my connection not to give me any and to fuck off. So I went and got some tsipouro (a Greek alcoholic beverage) and after I threw it up, I slowly went to sleep. At about three o’clock in the morning the devil woke me up.
-Get ready for something that will shock you.
Shit, what does that asshole want, I thought. Nothing happened and I fell asleep again. When I woke up, everything was blurred. An image appeared in the distance, but I couldn’t discern who it was. I looked elsewhere so that the blurring would go away and so that I could understand who it was. I hear a stomach rumbling.
-Sorry, I ate lakerda (a Greek salty delicacy) said the person.
I turned around and saw my grandfather. My grandfather died in 2003….As soon as I saw him, he seemed frightened and left.
-You asshole, you did that? I said terrified to the devil.
-I can’t tell you,