 |  |
Several hours later, I arrived at the United Nations refugee camp. The camp was only a few kilometres away from the Kapombe Mansion, but it had been the hardest journey of my life. The pain from my mutilated genitalia, combined with the loss of blood had made me very weak, and I had collapsed several times on the way. The worst part, however, was my fear and paranoia. The only thing that kept me going was the thought that I have to survive.
I was a poor Tutsi refugee who had murdered a Tanzanian business tycoon in his sleep. The police would never believe me if I tell them that he raped and mutilated me. Worse yet, I feared that a mob would come to kill me like I had seen mobs do to others during the Rwandan genocide. As I approached the refugee camp, two soldiers with blue helmets approached me. One of them shouted:
“This camp is full. Return to Rwanda. The war is over.”
I struggled to stand up and give the soldier a coherent response. There was nothing I wanted more than returning to my village and pretend like these terrible months hadn’t happened. However, there was an issue. Mbwana had mutilated my genitalia, and I was likely to die from infection if I didn’t get medical treatment.
“Please help me...” I wheezed.
“Are you deaf? This camp is full. Go somewhere else.” The soldier shouted.
I didn’t respond. The combination of blood-loss, exhaustion, and dehydration caused me to collapse to the ground. I reached a delirious state where I saw Jesus and the Devil Lucifer argued about the fate of my soul.
“Let her come with me to my Father's house. She is an innocent child.” Jesus said.
“She murdered a man in cold blood. She will murder again. Her soul is mine.” The Devil Lucifer replied.
“It doesn’t matter. She is welcome to my Father's kingdom if she repents her sins.” Jesus stated.
I reflected over Jesus’s words. I couldn’t ask him for forgiveness for murdering Mbwana Kapombe. To ask for forgiveness, I had to feel sorry for what I had done, but I wasn't. Mbwana was a monster, and he had mutilated me. If I hadn’t sought vengeance, then who would have avenged me and brought him to justice?
“I am coming with you, Lucifer". I mumbled, and as I closed my eyes, I heard his evil laughter in my head. As I slowly opened my eyes again, I saw a beautiful guardian angel in the form of a blond female doctor with warm blue eyes, looking at me deeply with love and care.
“Her genitalia have been mutilated. We need to give her medical treatment straight away.” The white female doctor said to someone, and I was carried and floated gently towards a medical tent on a stretcher. Once I was in the hospital camp, I landed on a warm and clean bed, and I continued listening to Jesus Christ and the Devil Lucifer arguing about my soul until I passed out.
***
AS I WOKE UP, I FELT a searing thirst that drove me to scream for water. “Water. Please I need water.”
A nurse in blood-covered scrubs handed me a cup before she returned to the patient next to me. I sculled the water, but I shouldn’t have, as the sudden hydration put my body into shock, and I vomited it all out again. I looked around in shock at the room I was in. Injured and dying people were seen everywhere in this filthy hospital camp. I noticed how the nurses struggled to stop the bleeding of a man who had his legs blown off by a landmine. Had I survived my condition, or had I come to arrive in hell? My inability to still my searing thirst indicated that I had arrived in hell. “Please Jesus help me. I am sorry I didn’t seek your forgiveness.” I sobbed.
“I’ll look after this patient.” A female doctor shouted. As she approached me, I recognised her as the doctor that had saved me the previous day.
The doctor spoke to me gently, “You need to drink in small sips, my dear. Your body needs time to absorb liquid after your surgery.
“Will I be okay?” I wept.
“Yes, you’ll be okay.” The doctor soothed.
The doctor helped me sitting upright, while I took a few sips of the water. As I finished sipping my cup of water, she smiled at me and spoke: “Good girl. Slow and steady wins the race.”
I nodded, closed my eyes, and fell asleep.