Deep in thought, E traced the exterior of his cell phone. He was so surrounded by his thoughts of worry and concern that he almost hadn’t heard Dirt speak. He flipped the phone open, glanced at it, and then closed again.
“Damn E, what’s on your mind?”
“I’m just wondering why Rich Kid ain’t answering his phone.” E’s gaze still focused on the silent cell phone.
“Man, you know how Rich Kid be,” Dirt responded, dismissively. “He probably still sleep.”
“Yeah,” E responded absentmindedly. Flipping the phone open again, he stared at the display screen, mentally willing it to ring. He gave a sigh just before closing it again. At that exact moment, the phone in his hand started to vibrate. A wave of relief swept over him as flipped it open and pulled it up to his ear. “Hello?” he answered, expecting the voice on the other end to be Richard.
“E, I need to talk to you.” It was Skinny.
E’s stomach lurched. He racked his brain for any reason that Skinny might be calling him, wanting to discuss Richard; he could only come up with one. “Sis, that you?” His voice shook as he asked his next question. “Why Rich ain’t answering his phone?” He wasn’t certain that he wanted to know the answer.
“That’s what I need to talk to you about.” A ball formed in the back of her throat, making it painful to speak. She swallowed hard, trying to push the lump back down. “Just come to Gina’s house, a’ight?” She pulled the phone away from her mouth, trying to hide her sobs.
“Hello? Sis? Sis!” E was shaking. Something was wrong. Very wrong. He could feel it, sensed the desperation in Skinny’s voice.
“Just come, E, a’ight?”
With the click of their ended phone call, E’s heart began to race. What had happened? Why wouldn’t Skinny tell him over the phone? Over the next several minutes, E ran on pure instinct and fear. His thoughts and actions were no longer driven by intention, but by pure adrenaline. Already standing, he grabbed Dirt by the arm and started pulling him outside.
Dirt followed the pull. He didn’t try to pull away; he didn’t get angry. Something was wrong and Dirt knew it.“What happen yo’?”
“Man, drive this bitch to your house. I got to handle some business.” E was already climbing into the passenger’s seat.
Dirt climbed into the driver’s seat and started up the engine. Feeding off E’s adrenaline, Dirt slammed his foot on the gas pedal, leaving a cloud of dirt behind him. “What happen?” he asked, taking his eyes off the road to steal a glance at E; the tense jaw and furrowed brow indicated that something was severely wrong.
“Just go or you can get out and walk!” E screamed. His wild eyes bore into Dirt, forcing Dirt to look away.
Dirt pushed the gas pedal further to the floor. “A’ight, I going.” Through his periphery, he caught sight of E pulling his gun out. At that moment, Dirt grasped an unspoken understanding of the situation. His own heart now racing, Dirt ran a red light. Blaring horns sounded behind them as they cleared the intersection.
Pulling up in front of Dirt’s house, E didn’t even wait for Dirt to exit the car completely before sliding over the console into the driver’s seat. Letting the sudden forward force of the car slam the door shut, he laid into the gas pedal, pushing the car to sixty before even reaching the end of the block.
Speeding down the street, E pulled out his cell phone and hit the call button. The action directed him to the last call made. “What happened to Rich?” he yelled into the phone, not caring who it was that had answered.
“Boy! Quit yelling in my ear!” It was Alicia. “Ain’t shit happen to my big brother.”
“My bad, Sis.” E concentrated on lowering his voice. “But why Skinny crying like that then?”
Alicia knew that E could go on a massive killing spree if he had even the slightest suspicion that Richard might be dead. So despite the plan to wait until he arrived, she broke the news. “He just got locked up. That’s all boy, so don’t worry yourself.”
A whoosh of air left E’s lungs. Richard being locked up wasn’t a good news, but it was definitely better than the worst-case scenario news he’d been worried about. “I’m pulling in the projects right now. Y’all open the door for me?”
Alicia was already standing in the doorway when E brought the car to a screeching halt. His body jolted forward, just a little, and bounced back into the seat. After placing the car in park, he headed in Alicia’s direction.
Even from the yard, he could hear Skinny’s sobs; they grew louder with each step he took. When he entered the small kitchen, he found her huddled in Gina’s arms, shaking violently from her sobs. Gina’s expression was laden with concern. “What’s going on, Sis?” He directed his attention towards Alicia and took note of her somber expression.
“Ask Skinny, she gone tell you.” Alicia replied flatly, motioning towards Skinny. Her sober expression deepened. “And try to get her to see she gone be alright before she has a miscarriage.”
Nodding at Alicia, E prepared himself. He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Finally, he turned and stepped towards Skinny until he was just a few feet behind her shaking body. “Suck that shit up, Sis!” His tone was hard, but respectful. He’d known Skinny long enough to know that she didn’t respond well to soft, gentle prodding. “If Bro was here, he would be going crazy right now.”
Skinny took a step backwards, stiffened her body, puffed out her chest and lifted her chin. Slowly, methodically, she concentrated on her breathing, willed it to slow down. Everyone in the room waited patiently as her sobs lightened, and eventually disappeared completely. Finally calm, she used the collar of her shirt to dry her tear-stained cheeks before turning around to face E.
“Now,” E said, confident that Skinny had her emotions under control. “What happened?”
The four of them, E, Gina, Alicia and Skinny, sat down at Gina’s kitchen table as Skinny retold the story of that morning, leaving nothing out, not even the comment Richard had made when the officers had first started collecting the money. All of them chuckled a little at Richard’s brashness with the police. Finally, Skinny reached the phone call she’d received from Richard earlier.
“And that’s it. What am I going to do?”she asked, placing her hands in her lap, looking down at the table.
Figuring that she might start crying again, E touched her shoulder. “We gone be a’ight,” he said softly, but with confidence.
Skinny looked up at E, eyes glimmering with tears and hope. “That’s what Richy told me.” A small smile pulled at her lips.
For a moment, everyone sat at the table in silence, each lost in their own train of thought. Gina and Alicia worried about Skinny. Skinny and E shared a slightly different line of thinking, however. That thought was one of revenge.
Clearing his throat, E stood up. “Well, look here. I’m gone go get this money together so we can get the lawyer, but fuck that three hundred dollars.” E reached in his pocket and pulled out a stack of bills. He handed it to Skinny. “Here’s a thousand dollars. Put five hundred on his books and keep the rest for you.” As Skinny’s hand wrapped around the bills, he grabbed a hold of it with his free hand. “If you need something else, you let me know.”
Skinny could have read E’s unspoken message from miles away. Nodding, she answered, “I know what I need you to do.”
“What’s that?”
“When you find that nigga that snitched on him,” her voice became thick with hatred, her gaze despondent. “I want to be the one that kill his ass.” As if snapping out of a gaze, she shook her head and looked up at E pleadingly. “You can do that for me, right?”
Seeing where this conversation was going, Gina stepped up next to Alicia and E, now staring at each other with silent understanding. “Just calm down now.”She touched Skinny’s shoulder gently but warned E with a threatening glare. Skinny was frail right now; she couldn’t be held fully responsible for her words or actions. E was a different story. He needed to stop this before it went any further.
Still sitting at the table, Alicia looked up, her eyes glazed with worry and concern. “She dead ass serious, Gina.”Alicia knew, without a doubt, that no one would be able to stop Skinny; she would have her revenge, with or without E’s help. Having it would be better than the alternative. If he helped her, he could at least keep Skinny safe.
Gina’s eyes bounced from Skinny to E to Alicia. She felt as if her family were falling apart. Pops was in juvie, Richard was in jail, and now Skinny and E were plotting to kill whoever had ratted out Richard. She wondered how she could stop this horrible chain of events. She racked her brain, trying to find something to say that would change Skinny and E’s minds. She was angry too, but killing whoever had done this just wasn’t the answer. But before any single thought could come to fruition, E spoke up.
“A’ight. That’s done, Sis.” He gave Skinny a nod. “Just call me in the morning when you see how much the lawyer gone need to start his case.” Without another word, he walked out the door and headed towards the car. After the initial squeal of his tires had faded, the three women sat in silence.
***
It had been two months since Richard had left. Most everyone adjusted and went back to their normal lives – business as usual, but Richard’s absence had left a gaping wound in the hearts of some of The Family.
Between business hours, E spent his days and nights looking for the rat. The need to avenge his life-long friend and put Skinny’s mind to rest haunted him day and night, but no one seemed to know anything. It was everything he could do to keep from shooting everyone that had ever even acted as though they couldn’t be trusted.
Alicia and Gina spent their days and night worrying about Skinny. Richard, they knew, would be just fine. He would find connections in jail. He would find a way out. It was only a matter of time.
Skinny knew this as well, but sleeping without Richard every night, not having him there to share the experiences of pregnancy with, was tearing her up inside. She still cried most days, but she tried to stay strong, or at least tried to appear strong in the presence of others. Having Richard locked up had spread enough rumors – rumors that would be reckoned with, one by one – but having rumors about Richard’s girl being weak? Well, that was something Skinny wasn’t willing to allow. She might have been able to continue her act, had it not been for the child she had been carrying.
***
Gina inserted three quarters into the soda machine and pressed the big red button labeled Coca-Cola. She stared at the vending machine full of cookies, snack crackers, gum and chips, and debated as to whether or not the strong smell of antiseptics would allow her consume one of them. Finally deciding that she couldn’t stomach it, she turned away from the machine without making a purchase. She walked back through the Jackson Hospital waiting room to where Alicia sat, elbows on her knees and head in her hands.
Hearing Gina approach, Alicia lifted her head. “What could be taking so long?”
Gina understood Alicia’s real question – it wasn’t about why it was taking so long, it was whether or not Skinny had lost the baby. “I don’t know,” she said, answering both questions.
Alicia’s head dropped back into her hands. The knot in her stomach had grown with each passing minute, and it was now making her nauseas.
Gina took a seat next to Alicia. The plastic waiting room chairs didn’t make for very comforting accommodations. Hoping to calm Alicia’s nerves, as well as her own, Gina gently rubbed Alicia’s back. Her mind flooded to thoughts of Richard. She wondered what his reaction might be like if Skinny lost the baby. A chill raced over her body and a shiver went down her spine. She wasn’t afraid, necessarily of what Richard might do, but more what the news might do to Richard.
After what seemed like hours more of sitting and waiting, a tall man wearing green scrubs walked down the hallway towards them. His gaze seemed emotionless, as though his face were set in stone.
“Are you two the family of Nicole Scott?” asked the doctor, now standing in front of them. Gina nodded silently. Alicia sat motionless. “She seems to be doing fine, although I do want to keep her for a few days to run some tests.”
Alicia and Gina glanced at each other, both noticing how the doctor had omitted any information about the baby. Gina asked the question that they desperately needed to know the answer to, but were too afraid to ask. “The baby?” Alicia continued to watch Gina, unsure if she could look at the doctor, afraid it would send her into a fit of tears.
The doctors body stiffened, as if he were standing at attention in the middle of a war zone. “The baby didn’t make it.” His features sunk as he added, “I’m very sorry.”
Alicia swallowed hard, trying to fight back the tears, but her grief won out. “Can we see her?” she asked as tears spilled over onto her cheeks and down her chin.
“Yes,” he nodded, glumly. “Just give them some time to move her over to the recovery unit. And try not to stay too long. She needs to rest.”
Gina thought she noticed the sparkling of tears in the doctor’s eyes, but then decided that it might be her own. He continued to stand there, undoubtedly waiting to make sure the news had sunk in. “Thank you,” she said quietly, choking through her tears, letting him know that he was free to go.
Giving them one last look of condolence, the doctor walked away. He stopped at the nurse’s desk and pointed towards Gina and Alicia. Gina figured he must be telling the nurses to send them back when Skinny was ready. Looking over at Alicia, Gina realized that the two of them were in no shape right now to console Skinny. Taking hold of one of Alicia’s elbows, Gina pulled her sobbing sister up from the chair. “Come on Sis.”
Alicia shot a puzzled look. “Where we going? The doctor said we couldn’t see her ‘til she got in a room.”
Gina rolled her eyes but carefully chose a pleasant tone. “I know, but we don’t want Skinny seeing us like this.” She used her hand to motion between the two of them. “She the one who just lost a baby. We need to be there for her.”
Nodding in agreement, Alicia followed Gina to the bathroom where they cleaned their teary faces and reapplied their makeup.
Just as they were leaving the restroom, Alicia’s cell phone rang. “You have a collect call from ‘Richard.’ To accept these charges, please press five. To block…” Alicia pressed the five button on her keypad without bothering to listen to the rest of the automated message. She swallowed hard as she waited for the call to connect. Gina gave Alicia an inquisitive glance, but before Alicia could answer the unspoken question, the line connected.
“Ay, Sis, you saw Skinny today?”Silently, Alicia mouthed the word Richard to Gina. “She ain’t answering her phone.”
Plugging her free ear as if surrounded by a large crowd, Alicia started to pace the waiting room floor. “Listen, don’t do nothing dumb when I tell you this…” She paused before repeating her point, out of both nervousness and a need for confirmation. “You have to promise you not gone do no dumb shit.”
Irritated with Alicia’s stalling tactics, Richard rolled his eyes as he snapped at her through the phone. “A’ight! I promise. Now what the fuck going on?”
Alicia hesitated, turned back towards Gina and made eye contact. Silently, Alicia asked with her eyes whether she should tell Richard the news. Gina gave her an affirmative nod, but her eyes betrayed the answer. Letting out a large sigh before clearing her throat, Alicia decided to go by the nod. “Skinny lost the baby, Rich.” She held her breath and waited for his response.
“Damn, Sis. Where baby girl at?” His voice was quiet, barely audible, depressed.
Stunned by his response, Alicia’s mouth hung open until Richard asked the same question again. His voice sounded even more sullen the second time. Snapping back from her surprised reaction, she stuttered out an answer.“Sh-she at the hospital.”
“You want me to call her?”
Worried that a call from Richard might make things worse but also considering the idea that it might help her cope, Alicia battled the answer in her head for just a moment.
Richard must have assumed that Alicia was trying to locate the number because he added, “I got the number.”
“Yeah, go head,” she finally decided.
After hanging up with Richard, Gina and Alicia checked with the front desk to see if they had moved Skinny to her new room yet. The nurses directed them to room 408. Taking their time, wanting to give Richard some time to talk to Skinny, they made their way towards the elevator and headed up to the fourth floor.
“Hello?” Skinny answered weakly.
“Hey baby girl. You a’ight?”
Richard’s voice stirred a wide array of emotions – happiness, fear, sadness – none of which she could control right now. “Yeah,” her voice cracked as she tried to suppress the sobs. “But Lil’ Richy gone.” Her entire body shook as the sobs took over.
“Baby Girl…it’s a’ight ya’ hear?” Richard soothed. “It’s a’ight. Now stop crying so I can talk to you.”
“Okay Richy, but it hurts,” she sobbed even harder. “He was born dead, and it’s all my fault.”
Hardening his tone, but only a little, Richard tried to calm her down, “Baby Girl, you gone make the phone hang up, so stop crying.”
Skinny inhaled deeply and held it, trying to force herself to stop crying. “A’ight, Richy.” She sounded a little calmer now, but her voice still cut in and out with the sporadic breathing left over by her sobs. “I need you right now baby.” Greif rose into her chest and throat again, but she fought it by closing her eyes and listening to Richard’s barely audible breathing, trying to match her pace with his.
“How long you got to stay at the hospital?” he asked.
“For like a week. I gone come to your contact visit!” she reassured. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.”
“Girl, you need to get better before you go anywhere,” Alicia interrupted as she and Gina entered the room, sitting down in the chairs next to Skinny’s hospital bed.
“That’s gone be part of my healing process," Skinny responded, shooting Alicia a look of defiance. “You tripping, Sis.”
“A’ight, now don’t y’all start that shit.” Richard was speaking directly to Skinny, but the comment was for both her and Alicia.
“Sorry, baby.” Skinny spoke into the receiver, but she glared at Alicia. Didn’t Alicia understand just how much she needed to see Richard right now?
Alicia did understand, but she also understood that Skinny had just given birth. The fact that the baby hadn’t survived was of little relevance. Her body needed time to heal. “Skinny,” her eyes pleaded as she spoke. “I love you like a sister. I don’t want to see you hurt yourself.”
Skinny’s expression softened as the love from Alicia shattered her wall of defense. “Sis, I’m gone be a’ight. I need to see him. I can’t wait.”
Alicia started to speak, but she could tell that Skinny’s concentration had shifted back to Richard. Skinny spoke into the receiver again and her features shifted back to sadness.
Skinny waited until she heard the click of the call disconnecting before shutting her phone. Sighing as she closed it, she turned her focus back to Alicia and Gina.
“When is this contact visit?” Alicia’s expression appeared disinterested, but her tone lifted, indicating both her concern and hopefulness.
“Next month, on the third. Ten-thirty in the morning,” Skinny gushed.“I got to be there at ten though to sign in.”
“Can I come with you?” Alicia pleaded. “I want to see him too.”
Skinny smiled. “He put us all on the paper to come see him.” She motioned towards Gina. “So Gina can come, too.”
Alicia glanced over at Gina as Skinny motioned. Gina’s body language and expression indicated that it was time to go. Alicia wanted to stay and keep Skinny company for a while longer, but she knew that Skinny would need to rest. As she gathered her things to go, one last question came to Alicia’s mind. “Skinny, I want to ask you a question,” she said, turning back towards Skinny.
“What’s that?” Her eyes were starting to droop. The sedatives the doctors had given her earlier were starting to take effect.
A hurt expression swept over Alicia’s face. “Why you stop crying for him but you don’t stop crying for us?”
Before answering, Skinny contemplated Alicia’s question carefully. “Sis, you know I’m him trapped in my body? What he says goes in my book.” She allowed a small smile across her face.
“A’ight then, Sis,” Alicia responded, not really sure what to make of Skinny’s answer. Chalking the strange answer up to the sedatives, she bent over Skinny’s bed, and gave her a gentle hug. “I got to go.” As she stood back up, Alicia noticed that Skinny’s eyes were filling up with tears again. “Why you crying now? Cause I’m leaving?” She was willing to stay a little longer if Skinny needed her to.
“No,” Skinny smiled through her tears. “’Cause that’s the first time you ever called me Sis.”
Smiling but not quite realizing how deeply Skinny had meant what she said, Alicia dismissed it. “Girl, I love you.” Before walking out the door, she said “bye,” over her shoulder.
“Bye Sis, I love you,” Skinny called back, her words almost missing Alicia’s ears completely as the door swung closed behind her.
As her eyes grew heavier, Skinny realized that she was officially part of the family now; not just the family that Richard had created, but the family that Richard was born to and loved. Understanding that Alicia had really meant what she’d said about not wanting to see Skinny hurt herself, she allowed the drugs to take over and fell into a dreamless sleep.