True Horrors Only Exist In Our Minds by liran G - HTML preview

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Chapter 25: suicidal thoughts:

Brock, has passed away.

And I was left clueless… unsure of how to respond, or which course of action to pursue.

I stood motionless, witnessing Brock’s repose upon his blanket, my gaze fixed upon him.

Myself: Brock…

Subsequently, I approached Brock, directing my attention to his inert form, an indescribable sensation gripping me; my sole duty now being to lay him to rest.

Myself: …

With resolve, I gently lifted Brock, pivoting and beholding the expanse of the woodland beyond the shed.

I exited the shed, traversing the forest until I emerged from its embrace, and made a conscious decision to proceed towards the shoreline.

After a few moments, I found myself standing upon the beach, a desolate expanse devoid of onlookers.

My inner thoughts resonated: Brock… I shall lay you to rest here, for this place held a special fondness in your heart.

Carefully, I positioned Brock upon the sandy surface, commencing the excavation of a substantial pit that would serve as his final abode.

Following several minutes of diligent digging, I ascended from the trench, retrieved Brock’s lifeless form, and tenderly placed him within its depths.

With solemn determination, I commenced the act of covering the cavity, meticulously depositing an increasing quantity of sand upon his lifeless frame until the pit was ultimately filled.

And then, I remained rooted in place, my gaze fixated upon the spot where Brock now rested, contemplative and reverential.

Several minutes elapsed as I strolled along the shoreline, my gaze fixed upon the captivating vista and the rhythmic dance of the waves. The beach had always been a sanctuary, a place of solace to which I would gravitate, regardless of life’s tribulations.

For within the tapestry of existence, even amidst moments of profound beauty and exhilaration, one must acknowledge the inherent fragility that can shatter the very foundation of our being.

Life, with its intricate dichotomy of triumphs and trials, imparts its lessons uniquely to each of us.

In the depths of my soul, a disconcerting notion began to take hold—I contemplated the notion of self-destruction. Having endured the loss of my beloved mother, father, and the remnants of my familial bonds, a profound sense of desolation enveloped me. However, a flicker of solace remained in the form of Rhythmeus, a truly enigmatic presence who, despite emanating an aura of peculiarity, offered a curious sense of solace.

Even with the companionship of Rhythmeus, the void left by the departure of the child who once bestowed upon me a profound sense of safety and comfort weighed heavily upon my heart. The ache was tangible, cutting deep into my core.

Several more minutes elapsed as I navigated through the city, my eyes wandering across the diverse tapestry of buildings. In the recesses of my thoughts, a contemplative melody resounded, weaving through the labyrinth of my mind.

My thoughts echoed with a dark contemplation: What if I were to take a leap from that lofty precipice…

Numbness engulfed me, overshadowing any desire to persist in this wretched existence. The agonizing truth was that my cherished confidante had fallen victim to the heinous violation inflicted by an enigmatic, godlike entity, devoid of any discernible reason or purpose.

Who was this being, and what malevolence drove their actions?

Increasingly, I found myself entertaining the notion that the blame rested solely upon my shoulders. I should have confronted that wretched Josh, delivering a resolute blow to shield Brock and Sophia from harm. But alas, my actions proved futile, arriving too late to avert the tragedy that unfolded.

I was the harbinger of Brock’s demise.

Why must every soul or entity I encounter face the cruel grasp of mortality? What malady lurks within me, poisoning the very fabric of life? Why am I burdened with such a cursed existence?

I am a contagion, indiscriminately extinguishing innocent lives throughout the city. An abhorrent being, devoid of purpose or justification, I am a wretched creation that should never have come to be.

Yes, I find myself contemplating the ultimate act of self-termination, seeking to bring an end to my own profoundly wretched existence, with the intention of restoring happiness to those around me.

Upon the untimely demise of my dear mother, I lamented my failure to depart from this mortal coil, leaving behind no discernible trace.

I have become a source of shame not only to my father but also to my entire lineage. How could I have erred so grievously, committing such a colossal blunder?

In the interest of expediting the resolution, I shall embark upon the path of self-annihilation.

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Everything you witnessed and heard were naught but figments of my ruminations.

I experienced an overwhelming sense of profound shame and guilt in the aftermath of Brock’s demise, and despite my contemplations, their significance seemed futile.

I comprehended that the circumstances surrounding Brock’s demise lacked coherence; it was inconceivable for Brock to meet such a fate. No individual should suffer a tragic demise at the hands of an otherworldly entity; it simply felt incongruous to my sensibilities.

All of my ruminations, including those of self-harm, held no relevance to me. I allowed the burden of guilt, shame, and anguish to consume me internally, engendering a profound sense of doubt encompassing the complexities of existence.

I just let it happen…

Several days elapsed, and I found myself standing upon the shoreline, gazing at the panoramic vista. In the wake of all that transpired, I experienced a sense of tranquility, a peculiar state of well-being. I am acutely aware that existence has a propensity to unleash a barrage of profoundly distressing circumstances upon individuals.

Yet, if one possesses the wisdom to confront and navigate these tribulations, allowing them to run their course without resistance, an inner serenity is attainable—a semblance of liberation, so to speak.

However, there remained unfinished tasks that demanded my attention.

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