The next Monday, I planned not going to school but that too was destroyed by Chun jo and Jeremy's appearance on our front door.
"I heard what happened" Chun jo said quietly trying to keep her voice out of my mom's eagle ears who was walking up and down the room doing God knows what but I didn't reply because I was short of words.
"It's nothing Tao seo. Act like a man" Jeremy said patting me on my back and that gave me some assurance. Going to school that day wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and even though everything was calm in school I was still scared because I thought Cynthia will never come back.
It was after three weeks before I could remember everything that happened in that dream because I've been trying to shut it out of my mind as if it doesn't happened. "I'm yours" Cynthia had said. What does that mean? Why will she say she is mine? And so on were the questions I was asking myself for weeks before given up with the thought that she was not coming back, that she had already walked out on me.
On my fifteenth birthday, my mom gave me a puppy that I feel in love with immediately. I could see my dad eyeing it with hatred in his eyes but I didn't care because it was the best gift I ever had.
"And do you think you are capable of taking care of that thing?" my dad asked.
"Yes dad" I said smiling down down at the puppy.
"And what will you name it?" my mom said.
"Cynthia" I said without thinking.
"Cynthia what a lovely name. I've always known that you will take after me. When I was young, I also have the gift of giving out beautiful names" mom said smiling at my dad who was frowning at his food. Sometimes I wonder what my mom sees in him.
In grade 10 a new girl joined us. She was a beautiful girl but not Cynthia's beauty. She usually packed her jet black hair in a ponytail and I could swore that that was what made her attracted to me
I discussed the matter with Jeremy and he gave me the courage to face her. Jeremy and I became friends over the years and I wished to have known him before this time. I remembered the look on his face the first time he came to my room and saw what was all over the wall. It took him two weeks to asked the question that I knew had been bothering him since then.
"Who is that girl on your wall?" he had asked and I gave him a neat answer that I had prepared for whoever asked me such a question.
"Just a girl I created through my drawings" and since then he had never asked me another question about her.
See woo, that was the name of the girl and one Thursday after listening to some of Jeremy's advises I walked toward her with my heart sounding in my mouth and asked if she wouldn't mind to join me at dinner tomorrow. At first, I was thinking she was going to turn me down because of the look she was giving me but after staring at me for some minutes and I praying that the land should just open and swallow me she said yes.
See woo and I dated for two months with her help because it felt unreal to me because I knew deep down my heart that she was just a replacement which she doesn't even fit into because no matter how hard I shoo away Cynthia out of my heart, she stayed rigid there like a solid rock. Even my dog seems more closer to her than See woo because at least they bears the same name.
On my sixteenth birthday, My dad gave me a laptop and because I do not want to sabotage the whole thing by jumping up and down the room or hugging him I said thank you under my breadth.
That night I was unable to sleep. It was one of my happiest birthday because my dad had decided to give me a gift on that specific day.
Not long after, I started expanding my search on Cynthia but to no luck. I've done a lot of search on her on my phone but decided it was going to be easier if I had a laptop which I thought I was going to buy myself, and even with the laptop I was reaching a bottomless end because there were a lot of Cynthia from Africa.