The last time I saw Cynthia was the night she walked out on me, about one and the half years ago, and the long time interval confirmed my suspicion. Cynthia absence in my life felt like half of my heart had been ripped off, and although we meet in dreams, I used to feel the connections between us, the connections of two lonely hearts.
Five months before my seventeenth birthday was when I had another dream. I saw myself on a very big field, full of African kids,I guessed because most of them were black, with few of them fair in complexion.
Several tents were raised on the field with kids on same sport wear beneath them. There were four different colours of sport wears - red, yellow, green and either purple or blue I can't remember.
Kids were in two, three and more talking vibrantly, some of them were of my age, few a little bit older and most were younger. At the back of a tent, I saw a girl of about four years old crying and after few minutes hesitation, I moved toward her, bent down on a kneel in front of her and asked her what was wrong.
"I can't find my sister" she said between sob, using the back of one of her hands to clean the tears from her cheeks.
"Where do you think she will be?"
"Don't know. I checked everywhere, I can't find her"
"Okay, let look for her" and so I stood up, held her hand and moved inside the tent. The tent was as crowded as I had thought it was going to be and it wasn't an easy task to talk to anyone of them because all of them were focusing on something or someone outside the tent and speaking in a strange language or languages which seems like cheering something or someone up.
I was about to give up when a boy responded to my question.
"Whose sister?" he asked
"This girl" I replied holding up the girl's hand
"Oh, Cynthia, she is on the field. She is one of the runners" The mention of Cynthia's name made the hair at the back of my neck stood at alert and with no more words spoken I rushed out of the tent almost dragging the little girl along.
I moved toward a not too crowded part of the field and saw what they were all watching. There were eight girls on the field, two from each house, all ready for the referee to blew his whistle. Cynthia's white and black hair was seen among the girls, it stood out.
"Is that your sister?" the girl looked straight ahead, scanned the girls and shook her head. Few seconds before the referee blew his whistle, I could swear I saw Cynthia looked at my direction - our direction.
"What is your sister's name?" I asked not because I didn't know her name but because I wanted to know her first name.
"Sister Cynthia"
"What other name do you know she bears"
"Sister Cynthia" and with that I concluded that I wasn't going to get any answer from her. So I looked at the runners as they were battling to take the glory.
"I bet it with you, senior Cynthia is going to be the winner" a chubby boy said
"I doubt it, it's already her fourth race, she is weak, just dragging herself along with others" another fair boy said and as they were coming nearer to the end of the race, I heard shouts, screams of their supporters. I could make out Cynthia, Ruth and Margaret but the rest I couldn't so I stopped straining my ears.
At first, I thought Cynthia was going to make it, but a short plump girl came from nowhere and got the first position. After recording and and resting I guessed, Cynthia came over to us. I don't know when she arrived but I just saw her there, kneeling on a leg, petting her sister
"Lilly why crying?"
"I was looking for you everywhere but can not find you"
"You should have looked for Chimamanda" she said and even though I knew Chimamanda will be an human name since there hadn't been any animal on the field, I knew I could never worked out the pronunciation of that name.
"I can not find her"
"Okay, don't worry. Sister is here" and then she looked up, gently rising to her feet as if she just realized I was there.
"Tao seo"
"Cynthia, what took you so long? I've been expecting you for months"
"I was biding my time, waiting for you to be back to yourself"
"But it had been too long. I've been waiting for you for months" I said and when I realized that she was not ready to talk I said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything"
"It's okay" and that was how the three of us started moving away from the field until we were alone on a one way road.
"I missed you" I said but before she could reply her younger sister had asked me a question.
"What is your name?" raising up her head so that she will be able to looked at me straight in the eye.
"Tao seo"
She pronounced it wrongly but I didn't bother to correct her.
"Why are you so white?"
"I..."
"Don't mind little Lilly" Cynthia said.
"What is also your own name?"
"Me?" she asked using her right hand to beat her chest.
"Yes. You"
"My name is Lilian but people call me little Lilly but sometimes Chimamanda call me lolly which mommy had warned her not to call me again but whenever we are alone she call me lolly mostly at school and her friends will laugh"
"Who is chianlanda?" I asked carefully pronouncing that name so as not to make any mistake but with the way they were laughing, I knew I had made one.
"Oh Chimamanda" Cynthia said between laugh "She is---"
"Sister, he asked me not you"
"Okay go on lilly"
"Chimamanda is my elder sister but sister Cynthia is our eldest. She is sometimes nice but sometimes not"
"Where is she now?" but before she could answer Cynthia had talked.
"Tao seo, how are you?"
"I'm fine. You?"
"I'm always fine" she said smiling at me and that made my stomach to rumbled together. "I'm sorry"
"I...It nothing" I stammered because she caught me off guard with that apology and I could feel my hands moving involuntary to and fro abnormally fast. What was that apology all about I thought