18
That’s Your Idea of Interesting?
Edwin closed his eyes, hoping the end would be quick. Zach’s howling grew louder and more agonised, and Edwin braced himself for the inevitable pain that was sure to follow.
Then he heard Stubby’s voice. “I think you’re biting his nose a bit too hard.”
Edwin opened his eyes, and looked up to see Zach was clinging to the scythe that had jammed across the mouth of the Threshing Machine. Peering below, he saw a set of deadly looking blades spinning inches beneath Zach’s dangling feet.
They were saved!
But Edwin’s sense of relief was fleeting. A large dollop of black sludge still clung to his legs, and the weight was pulling him down. He clamped his beak harder round Zach’s nose, and felt a pang of guilt as Zach emitted another yelp of pain.
Then Zach made a different sort of sound. Not a cry of pain this time, but a groan of terror. Peering upwards, Edwin saw why: Zach’s fingers were losing their grip on the rake. He couldn’t hold on much longer...
Across the farmyard, Bryony heard Zach’s groans, but she still couldn’t bring herself to touch the Wychetts Key.
“What are you waiting for?” croaked a voice. “The Key lies before you. The power is yours to command.”
“Yes,” purred another voice. “Why don’t you use it, Guardian?”
Bryony forced her head up, and saw two figures standing over her.
Katya and Dawes!
Their faces were dotted with red pinch marks, and their clothes riddled with holes where the chickens had pecked at them. But now Chardonnay and her brood lay scattered on the ground, exhausted by battle.
“The girl is fearful,” mused Dawes, a quizzical tone to his croaky voice. “She is afraid… of the magic.”
Katya frowned, and tilted her blonde head sideways. “Is that so, child? What has a Guardian of Wychetts to fear from the magic of the Wise Ones?”
“I…” Bryony’s throat was dry as a bone. “I don’t know.”
“Then look up,” suggested Katya. “The sky will reveal your fears. To you, and to us all.”
“I mustn’t.” Bryony remembered the Captain’s warning. “I won’t.”
“Won’t or can’t?” Dawes exhaled a raucous chuckle. “The world is about to end, and you’re too scared to face your fears. You’re not fit to be a Guardian. You never were and never will be.”
“Inglenook was a fool to entrust the power to such a weakling child,” purred Katya. “He has paid the ultimate price for his foolishness. And so has the world.”
Katya and Dawes laughed. Bryony knew they were right; she was a coward, too scared to face up to her fear. The fear she could not bring herself to talk about, the fear that that haunted her dreams, her every waking moment. The fear that had destroyed not only her world, but the rest of the world with it.
Yet she had to know, and if the world was coming to an end, Bryony had to take this chance to find out the cause of that fear.
The Captain’s words came back to her…
It’s true we should face up to what scares us, but there will be a time for that, and you will know when.
Bryony forced her head up, and saw the orb of the moon retreating behind a blanket of blackness that smothered the entire sky.
And in that blackness she saw shapes materialising: vague, blurry shapes that took form and solidified as she watched. Shapes that twisted and melded together to make a single, larger shape…
A face. A human face. And familiar…
Bryony blinked, but there could be no mistaking the beautiful features that looked down at her from the heavens.
Katya and Dawes stopped laughing, and lifted their heads to stare at the face in the sky.
“What is this?” asked Dawes, frowning.
“It’s Mum,” whispered Bryony. “My real mum.”
Bryony stared at her mother’s face. There was so much she wanted to say, so many questions to ask, but suddenly her tongue had turned to jelly.
Bryony’s mother gazed down at her daughter, but she didn’t smile. Her face was grave, as though she had some terrible news to reveal. And then she spoke. And somehow Bryony had known what she would say…
“Beware the Moon of Magister.”
Those words again. Those words that made no sense, and yet had caused Bryony so much fear. But by the looks of it, she wasn’t the only one who was afraid.
“It can’t be,” whispered Katya, shaking her head. “That’s not possible.”
“But we heard it,” croaked Dawes. “He is returning as the prophecy foretold!”
“He?” Bryony tore her gaze from the sky, to stare questioningly at Dawes. “Who is returning?”
“He is returning!” Dawes started flapping his arms as though in a state of panic. “We must warn the Dark One!”
“Wait,” said Katya. “We don’t yet know…”
But Dawes had already transformed into a bird, and melted into the blackened sky with a last, terrified squawk.
“What did he mean?” Bryony switched her attention to Katya. “You know about this. I’ve heard you mention the Moon of Magister before. What is it? And who is returning?”
Katya lowered her face to look at Bryony. Her normally sparkling emerald eyes were glazed, as though drained of life. And hope.
Her lips parted as if to speak. But then Bryony heard growling.
The kennel door burst off its hinges, and an enraged Blossom came charging across the yard.
Katya flinched at the sight of the dog, but Blossom was still tethered, and Bryony knew they were beyond his reach.
Then there was a snapping sound, and the leash broke beneath the strain of Blossom’s rage.
With a startled hiss, Katya transformed into a cat. Then she fled the yard in a streak of cream, with a furious Blossom snapping at her tail.
Bryony listened as the sound of barking faded. Then she looked at the sky again, and saw her mother’s face was fading. But so was the smoke…
The sky was clearing, and brightening as the first shards of sunlight pierced the gloomy horizon. It was dawn.
And as the blackness faded from the sky, Bryony felt her fears melting.
The night had ended, and so had the Barrenrake’s power.
The Threshing Machine was silent, with just a few wisps of black smoke wafting from its funnel shaped chimney. The scarecrows stood motionless, their bodies rigid and devoid of life.
The farmhouse was no longer ablaze, but a large portion of the building was charred and blackened, and almost half of the roof had collapsed.
Smoke drifted across the farmyard, and from the swirling clouds emerged the figure of a scrawny boy wearing a tatty jumper and oversized wellies.
“Zach!” Bryony couldn’t contain her relief. “Zach, you’re safe!”
Zach said something in reply, but Bryony couldn’t make out the words because there was something dangling from his nose.
It was a little ginger chicken.
“Edwin!”
Edwin clucked something, but Bryony couldn’t make out the clucks because his beak was clenched around Zach’s nose.
“I think you can let go now,” said Stubby, who was perched on Zach’s shoulder.
Edwin obliged, and fluttered to the ground whilst a grateful Zach massaged his reddened nose.
“Oh boys, I’m so glad you’re safe!” Bryony squealed with delight as Edwin came scampering towards her.
“Did you leave it to the last moment on purpose?” asked Zach, grinning as he knelt by Bryony’s side.
“It’s a trait these Guardians have,” said Stubby. “It’s as if they know no other way.”
“We try to keep it interesting,” clucked Edwin.
“So that’s your idea of ‘interesting’?” Stubby rolled his black button eyes. “Then I’d hate to experience your version of ‘gut wrenchingly terrifying’.”
“Anyway,” said Zach, trying to untie the twine from Bryony’s legs, “we wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you, Bryony.”
“You see.” Edwin nodded his chicken head at Bryony. “All it needed was a bit of magic.”
“But I didn’t do anything,” explained Bryony. “I didn’t touch the Key.”
Zach gave up trying to untie Bryony’s legs, and let Edwin peck at the twine instead. Within seconds Bryony’s legs were freed, but she needed Zach’s help to manoeuvre her portly pig body into a standing position.
“So what happened to Pauncefoot and Dawes?” asked Stubby.
“They ran off,” explained Bryony. “They saw something in the sky that frightened them.”
Zach frowned. “What was it?”
“My mother,” said Bryony.
Zach frowned again. “Is she scary?”
Edwin chuckled. “You can see where Bryony gets it from.”
“This isn’t funny,” said Bryony. “It was…”
“Fear,” said a smooth, posh sounding voice. “They saw their own fears, and it was too much for them.”
Everyone turned to see Captain Rathbone standing there. His moustache was singed, and his tweed jacket was charred and ragged, but those amber eyes burned as keenly as usual.
“But I saw my fears,” said Bryony.
The Captain nodded. “Then perhaps Katya and Dawes share your fears.”
Bryony was going to ask the Captain what he meant, but Edwin came up with a question of his own.
“But if Bryony didn’t use any magic, how come the Threshing Machine stopped?”
Captain Rathbone stroked his moustache. “In order for the Barrenrake’s power to take full effect, the processing had to be completed before sunrise. It would seem Zach bought us some much needed time when he activated the lever on the trailer.”
“But that was only for a few seconds,” said Zach. “Something else must have stopped the Machine.”
“Perhaps.” The Captain walked to the Threshing Machine and prised open a hatch on the side of its barrel shaped body.
“As I suspected,” he announced, after peering inside the Machine. “If you would care to look, you will see what put a stop to the Shadow Clan’s scheme.”
Edwin and Bryony were too short to peer inside the hatch, so had to rely on Zach.
“That’s queer,” he murmured, wrinkling his nose. “All the cogs and stuff are covered in some sort of yellow goo.” He thrust his hand into the hatch, and then withdrew it to show Edwin and Bryony what he meant.
“What is that stuff?” asked Edwin, inspecting the slimy yellow substance that dripped from Zach’s fingers.
“Looks like egg,” mused Zach, before sniffing the goo. “Yeah, it’s egg. Scrambled egg!”
The Captain nodded. “The egg must have gummed up the inner mechanism of the Machine.”
“But where did it come from?” clucked Edwin. “It would have taken tons of eggs to gum up a machine this big.”
Everyone looked at Edwin.
And then he realised.
“That wasn’t me. I couldn’t lay that many eggs.”
“You were clucking quite a bit,” said Stubby. “But don’t worry. If nothing good comes out of this, at least we’ve discovered a new method for mass produced scrambled eggs.”
Everyone laughed, except Edwin. He opened his beak to protest his innocence, but then caught sight of two small shapes moving at the edge of the farmyard. “Look over there,” he squawked, pointing a wing at the tiny forms. “What are they?”
“They’re piglets,” said Zach, frowning. “But we didn’t have any piglets. So I wonder how they got here.”
No one answered. But everyone looked at Bryony.
“Nothing to do with me!” she snorted. Then she remembered…
“It must be Jed and Ma. They tried to escape, but fell into the Plunge Pool.”
Edwin chuckled. “Serves them right. They were long overdue for a bath.”
But Bryony wasn’t laughing. “This is a mess. We might have defeated the Shadow Clan, but we’re still animals. And our parents are stuck as scarecrows.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” Edwin nodded his chicken head to where the Wychetts Key lay on the ground.
“I can’t.”Bryony backed away from the Key. “You do it. Please?”
Edwin shrugged his chicken shoulders, then placed a clawed foot on the Key. Immediately the Key started tingling, and Inglenook’s miniature metal face came alive.
“Good morning, young Master.” Inglenook’s tone was as cheerful as ever. “And what may I do for you?”
Edwin clucked impatiently. “I would have thought that was obvious. I’m a chicken.”
“Ah yes,” said Inglenook. “I see you don’t quite look yourself today.”
“I’m not the only one,” said Edwin. “Bryony is a pig. And our parents are scarecrows.”
“Interesting.” Inglenook’s eyes shifted to Bryony, and then back to Edwin. “Seems I have missed out on quite a lot.”
“We’ll fill you in later,” said Edwin. “Please, just make us all human again.”
“As you wish, young Master.”
There was a bright flash. Bryony closed her eyes, and when she opened them again she found she had hands and feet. Human hands and feet. Edwin was back to being a skinny ginger haired boy, and all the scarecrows were human again.
“Mum!” Edwin ran to where Jane stood in the circle of bewildered looking people.
Bryony spotted her father, and hurried over to hug him. “Dad, you’re back.”
“I didn’t go very far.” Bill frowned at his daughter. “Just into that shed to ask directions. Thing is, I can’t remember what the chap inside told me. And what’s this?” Frowning, he pulled a piece of straw from his right ear.
“Must be your brains leaking out.” Bryony laughed, before giving her father another hug.
Bill looked even more confused. Bryony knew was no point trying to explain anything. Grown ups didn’t understand magic, and it was best they knew nothing about Guardians or the Shadow Clan.
The other ex-scarecrows milled around for a while, swapping confused stories and trying to remember how they got to the farm. Bryony and Edwin did their best to convince everyone it was just a harvest party that went on a bit too long, and gradually the bemused crowd filtered out of the farmyard to return to their homes and villages.
“Guess it’s time for us to be going home, too.” Edwin caught up with Bryony as she watched the last of the crowd depart through the farmyard gate.
“Can’t wait,” sighed Bryony. “I never want to see this horrible place again.”
“Shall we walk, or get a lift?” Edwin waved the Key in front of Bryony.
That was a bit of a no brainer as far as Bryony was concerned. She’d spent the last few hours on four legs, so both her arms and legs ached terribly.
“Let’s do it,” she urged Edwin. “Ask Inglenook to take us home right now.”
Edwin offered the Key to Bryony. “Your turn.”
Bryony shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Neither can I,” said Edwin. “I’ve used up my magic quota for the day changing everyone back to humans. It’s all up to you now.”
“But I’m scared,” protested Bryony. “The magic frightens me.”
“But what’s to be scared of?” Edwin shook his head. “You shouldn’t be scared of the magic if you’re using it for good.”
He put the Key into Bryony’s hand, and closed her fingers around the metal shaft.
Immediately Inglenook’s miniature face came to life.
“Good morning, young Mistress. It is good to see you. We haven’t spoken for a while.”
“No, we haven’t.” Bryony felt awkward. “I’m sorry.”
“There is no need to apologise,” said Inglenook. “I am your servant, and here to do as you please. Now what is it you desire of me?”
Bryony tried to pass the Key back to Edwin, but he folded his arms and shook his head.
“Young Mistress?” Inglenook smiled at Bryony. “You wish me to help you in some way?”
“Please could…” Bryony took a deep breath. “Please could you to take us home. Back to Wychetts.”
“My pleasure.” Inglenook smiled. “Will that be all?”
“Yes.” Bryony nodded. “Just get us home, and quickly please.”
“Are you sure that is all?” Inglenook’s eyes narrowed. “There is nothing else I can do for you? Or anyone else for that matter?”
Bryony shook her head, but then a noise made her look round. Zach was sitting in front of the burned out farmhouse, whimpering softly as he cradled Chardonnay’s lifeless body in his arms. Captain Rathbone stood by his side, offering words of comfort. But Bryony could see the Captain’s efforts were having little effect.
“So if that is all,” continued Inglenook, “I shall have you safely home within a matter of seconds, dependent on wind direction and…”
“Wait.” Keeping hold of the Key, Bryony walked over to Zach. “Hi,” she said, kneeling by his side.
Zach tilted his scruffy head up. His eyes were glazed and red rimmed, and the grime on his cheeks was streaked with tears. But he managed a smile at Bryony.
“Hi, purty lady.”
Bryony returned the smile, then reached out to stroke Chardonnay. “How is she?”
Zach lowered his head again. “I don’t think she’ll last much longer. She weren’t a young’un. Her egg laying days were over. The fight was too much for her.”
“I am sorry,” said the Captain. “I warned Miss Chardonnay, but she was adamant that she wanted to help. She was a very brave, very public spirited chicken.”
“She still is,” said Bryony. “And you’re brave too, Zach. You took on Boglehob.”
“Suppose.” Zach sniffed. “But none of us would have been in this mess if I’d been brave a lot sooner. I should have stood up to Jed and Ma, I should never have let them bully me and turn the farm into…” He looked up and gestured all around him. “This.”
Bryony knew what Zach meant; the whole place looked like a bomb had hit it. The farmhouse itself was a smoldering ruin, surely beyond repair.
“It’s finished,” sobbed Zach. “Barrenbrake Farm is finished. All my dad’s work, gone. My mum’s, too. All gone.”
Bryony found that her own eyes were watering. She looked down at the Key in her hand. Inglenook’s metal face gazed back at her, his mouth set in an expectant smile.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Do it.”
Inglenook’s smile widened to a grin. “It will be my pleasure, young Mistress.”
The Key started to tingle. Bryony felt a surge of power flow through her, and then everything around her seemed to dissolve. She heard an astonished cry from Zach, and suddenly her surroundings sharpened back into focus.
Only they had changed beyond all recognition.
The farmyard was completely cleared of rubbish, and paved with gleaming cobblestones. The barn and surrounding buildings were no longer dilapidated, but looked as though they had been built yesterday. But the biggest transformation was the farmhouse. The burned out roof had been mended, and the walls were painted a sparkling white. There were even blooming roses around the door.
“What the…” Zach got shakily to his feet, his eyes wider than ever. “How did…”
“Bless my soul,” murmured the Captain, who looked equally shocked. “I’ve never seen the like in all my years in the Force.”
There was a clucking sound, and Zach turned to see a flock of chickens running excitedly around the yard, led by a plump speckled hen.
“Chardonnay!” Zach turned back to Bryony. “You saved her! You’ve made everything right again!”
“Not quite everything.” Edwin spotted the two little piglets still wandering around the yard. “How come they weren’t changed back to humans?”
“They weren’t human to begin with,” said Bryony.
“A small oversight on my part,” admitted Inglenook. “Unfortunately there is no magic left for today, so they will have to remain as animals until tomorrow, when I shall return them to their true forms. Hopefully their time as piglets might teach them a lesson about how to treat animals.”
Edwin and Zach picked up the two piglets and secured them in the pigsty. As they returned to the yard, they heard the sound of an approaching car.
“What’s this?” Captain Rathbone pointed at the police car that came trundling into the farmyard. “I hope they aren’t going to start poking their noses around. Typical of the Human Police to turn up when the hard work’s over.”
The police car stopped in front of the farmhouse. The windows were tinted, so Bryony couldn’t see the occupants of the vehicle. But of course she knew, and tried to keep a smile from her face as the car’s front door opened.
A man in plain clothes clambered out of the police car. He had a droopy grey moustache, and a weary look on his face.
“That’s Inspector Longford,” said Zach. “He’s the one who arrested my parents.”
“And wrongfully,” said the Captain. “If the Animal Police had been involved in proceedings, your parents would never have gone to prison.”
Inspector Longford walked up to Zach. “Morning, lad.” He glanced at the Captain, but looked away hurriedly as he met that searing amber gaze.
“What is it?” asked Zach, a nervous edge to his voice. “Why are you here, Inspector?”
“Your parents.” Inspector Longford fiddled with his shirt collar. “I regret…”
“Regret what?” Zach sounded more nervous. “What’s happened?”
“We’ve reviewed the case against your parents.” Inspector Longford coughed awkwardly. “It would seem our original investigation missed some vital evidence. The record has been put straight, and…”
The rear car door opened, and a man stepped out. He was broad shouldered and muscular, with Zach’s eyes and hair.
“Dad!” Zach screamed at the top of his voice.
The man smiled at Zach. “Son.”
“Dad, you’re home!” Zach threw himself at his father. Then a woman appeared from the car. She was pretty, with nut-brown hair and large hazel eyes. Zach rushed to his mother and hugged her, too. Then the family embraced as one, their grateful sobs mingling with tears of joy.
“Always good to see justice done,” observed Captain Rathbone, before shooting Inspector Longford another critical look. “Eventually.”
The Inspector sniffed, and adjusted his tie. “Our laws and procedures are slightly more complicated than yours, Captain Rathbone.”
The Inspector nodded curtly, and then clambered back into the police car.
“He knew you,” said Edwin, who had walked over to join Bryony.
“The Inspector and I go back a long way,” explained the Captain, his amber gaze following the police car as it left the farmyard. “We’ve teamed up to solve the odd case. The very odd case, that is. And it’s good to see what they’re up to, so we can give them pointers where they’re going wrong. We even have a few moles working in the human police.”
Edwin gawped. “You mean…”
The Captain nodded. “Half men half moles, naturally.”
Bryony and Edwin laughed.
“I believe my work is done here.” The Captain performed a salute. “It’s been an honour working with you both.”
Edwin saluted back. “I hope we’ll do it again some day.”
“Indeed.” The Captain’s smile faltered. “Although before I leave, I must serve you with this.” He handed Edwin a small piece of paper.
Edwin read the paper and frowned. “A penalty notice? What for?”
“Traffic Offence Number One under the Flyway Code. Taking to the air without a licence. You flew a distance of six point three metres in the Cursed Field when you saved Chardonnay. I regret it will have to go on your record.”
Edwin was gobsmacked. “Couldn’t you put in a good word for me?”
The Captain looked horrified. “As a member of the Animal Policeforce I am not permitted to influence the course of legal proceedings in such a manner. There must be other people who could act as character witnesses. What about Mr Stubby?”
“It would be my pleasure,” said Stubby, now back in Edwin’s shirt pocket. “And I will have lots to say on the subject.”
Edwin chewed his bottom lip. “On second thoughts, maybe I’ll plead guilty and take my punishment. Will I go to prison?”
“Oh no,” said the Captain. “As it’s your first offence you’ll get away with a bit of community service. Cleaning graffiti from rabbit warrens, that sort of thing. In any case, you’ll be unlikely to repeat the offence, eh?”
“I hope so,” said Edwin, glad to have arms instead of wings.
“Until we meet again.” The Captain saluted one more time, before transforming into a fox and departing in a streak of rusty brown.
“I suppose we’d better go too,” suggested Bryony.
“Not before we’ve treated you to a hearty farmhouse breakfast,” said Zach, walking over from his parents. “You must be right starving. I know I am.”
“I could eat a horse,” agreed Edwin, nodding gratefully. “What’s on the menu?”
“Not sausages, I hope.” Although Bryony shared Edwin’s hunger, she had to draw the line somewhere.
Zach grinned. “We’re out of pork this morning. But hopefully our brood can give us some eggs.”
“It would be our pleasure,” clucked Chardonnay, toddling over with her chickens. “I’ll have my girls rustle up a dozen right away.”
“Maybe Edwin could help out,” suggested Bryony with a smirk.
“Oh don’t be silly,” said Chardonnay, glancing disdainfully at Edwin. “He cannot lay eggs.”
Edwin crouched next to the plump speckled chicken. “You don’t recognise me, do you? I’m little Ginger. I saved your life, remember? And you saved mine.”
“You are little Ginger?” Chardonnay clucked doubtfully. “But you’re not a chicken.”
“I’m not anymore,” said Edwin. “I’m a human boy.”
“Who laid eggs,” added Bryony. “Lots of them.” Then she stared laughing.
“It’s not funny,” said Edwin.
But that made Bryony laugh even more. Then Chardonnay started laughing, too. And clucking and flapping. She couldn’t stop clucking and flapping, until something small and round popped out from between her legs.
“An egg!” Edwin clapped his hands. “You laid an egg!”
That news made Chardonnay flap even more, and another egg popped out. And another. And soon eggs were rolling all across the farmyard...