10
Under Examination Conditions
Madame Voltaria led the children down a succession of dingy, wood panelled corridors. Suits of tarnished armour stood like sentries along the route, their metal hands clasping an assortment of rusty but vicious looking weapons.
“You couldn’t get more ‘haunted house’ if you tried,” murmured Edwin, eyeing the suits of armour as he walked past.
“Think they’re going to come alive, do you?” Maddy giggled. “You have an overactive imagination, Bryony.”
Edwin wasn’t sure if it was his overactive imagination, but he felt a growing sense of foreboding as he trudged deeper into the gloomy bowels of the ancient manor. It was getting colder and darker with every step, and the sense of eeriness was heightened by echoing rumbles of thunder from the strengthening storm outside.
From their nervous glances and hesitant steps, Edwin suspected the other children shared his misgivings, but Maddy’s mood was more difficult to gauge.
There was a strange expression on her green freckled face: a mixture of sadness and happiness, like someone returning home after a long time away, only to find their house had been trashed.
“Are you OK?” Edwin sidled closer to Maddy. “This place is still giving me the creeps, and it’s getting creepier all the time.”
“It was a home once,” said Maddy. “It would have been different back then. A happy place, full of light and laughter.”
Edwin couldn’t imagine these dark creepy corridors being anything other than dark and creepy, but he supposed Maddy had a point.
“So who lived here?” Edwin guessed Maddy knew a lot about Maddergrub Manor. “Was it anyone famous? Like a King or Queen, or…”
“No talking.” Madame Voltaria halted, twisting her scrawny neck to fix Edwin with a zombie-eyed stare. “Anyone talking will be immediately expelled.”
Edwin bowed his head obediently. He didn’t want to get on the wrong side of Madame Voltaria, especially before the Induction. The Schrunkopf Institute might be a crumbling creepy ruin, but Edwin was determined to prove that he should be here instead of that cheating worm Bryony.
Madame Voltaria glided off again, and Edwin noticed how she always clutched her silver disc pendant whenever she moved.
The Invigilator led the children down more corridors, until they came to a long rectangular hall. The floor was lined with cracked grey flagstones, and moth-eaten tapestries hung from the walls. In the middle of the hall was a row of desks separated by wooden screens.
There was a name card on each desk, and a computer screen. Such modern technology looked out of place in the antique surroundings, but Edwin found it a welcome reminder that he was still in the twenty first century.
“You will listen carefully.” Madame Voltaria’s pulsing gaze swept the line of children. “Those failing to comply with the following instructions shall be immediately expelled.”
Needless to say, everybody listened.
“It is time for your Induction test. Each of you will sit at a separate desk, where you will undergo an examination of your intellectual abilities. You shall be allotted one hour to complete twenty questions. Those unable to answer all twenty questions within that time shall be immediately expelled. Those answering any questions incorrectly shall be immediately expelled. Only those answering all twenty questions correctly in the allotted hour shall be admitted to the Schrunkopf Institute of Knowledge.”
Edwin felt his stomach churn. He needed to answer all the questions right to stand any chance of getting into the Institute. That sounded a tall order, especially as he was competing against the brainiest kids in the area.
“You will each take a seat,” ordered Madame Voltaria. “After I have inspected your bags to ensure there are no items which can be used for illicit purposes.”
One by one, the children presented their schoolbags to the Invigilator. There were no problems until Maddy stepped forwards.
“Empty your bag,” instructed Madame Voltaria.
“That might take some time,” said Maddy.
Edwin noted that Maddy’s satchel was no larger than anyone else’s, and wondered if she was trying to bluff the Invigilator.
“All bag contents must be inspected,” said Madame Voltaria. “You will empty your bag or you will be immediately expelled.”
“As you wish.” Maddy reached into her satchel and pulled out her book ‘Science for Beginners’, which she handed to Madame Voltaria. Then she produced more books from her satchel. Edwin was surprised that Maddy could fit so many books in her bag, but his surprise turned to disbelief as she pulled out more and more objects.
There were ten books in total, plus an assortment of random items which Madddy placed on the floor around her: a bicycle pump, an ornate bedside lamp, an old fashioned telephone, a brass huntsman’s horn, a cuckoo clock, a dented copper kettle and a potted yucca plant.
“I think that’s it.” Maddy tipped her satchel upside down and shook it. “Luckily I’m travelling light at the moment.”
“Be seated.” Madame Voltaria glared at Maddy from behind the yucca plant.
Maddy went to her desk, sneaking Edwin a wink as she walked past.
Edwin was too stunned to wink back, trying to work out how Maddy had fitted so many things into such a small bag.
“Wake up, child.” Madame Voltaria pointed at Edwin. “I must inspect your bag before the Induction commences.”
“Yes, Miss.” Edwin presented his bag to the Invigilator.
“Text books are not allowed.” Madame Voltaria pointed to the Tome Terriblis.
Luckily Edwin had already thought of what to say.
“There’s no text in it.” He opened the Tome to reveal its blank pages. “It’s only for taking notes, writing calculations and stuff.”
“A true genius would not need to make notes during the test,” said Madame Voltaria. “But you may retain the book. Now be seated.”
A relieved Edwin sat at the desk with his name on it. Or rather, Bryony’s name. It galled him that he had to sit the test pretending to be his stepsister, but he knew by rights she shouldn’t be here anyway. And this was his chance to prove it.
Screened by the high wooden panels, Edwin couldn’t see any of the other children, and they couldn’t see him. He reached out to touch the computer screen, but a skeletal hand slapped his wrist.
“You will not touch the screen until I tell you.” Madame Voltaria gave Edwin a reprimanding stare, then clutched her pendant and glided off down the row of desks. “During the test, you may not speak or leave your seat. Anyone breaking these rules shall be immediately expelled. The test will commence now.”
The screen in front of Edwin lit up to show the Schrunkopf skull emblem with the words ‘Touch Here to Begin’ flashing underneath.
Edwin reached out a trembling hand to touch the screen.
The first question was a fairly basic algebraic equation, nothing too daunting. He tapped the answer and moved on to the next question. Again, nothing beyond his means, just a bit of rudimentary physics.
His hopes grew as he found the third question well within his capabilities. And the fourth. In fact, it was pretty plain sailing all the way up to question six.
He sat there for a while, forehead furrowed and lips pursed, but he just couldn’t work it out. His powers of concentration were hindered by the worsening storm outside; booms of thunder echoed round the hallway, flashes of lightning nipped teasingly at the periphery of his vision, whilst heavy rain drummed the windows with a seemingly mocking persistence.
Edwin tried not to believe the elements were ganging up on him. Conscious of the time, he skipped forwards to question seven with the intention of going back to six later. But seven was even harder. Eight was harder still, and nine looked all but impossible. Ten was written entirely in Russian, whilst eleven involved him having to translate question ten from Russian into Third Dynasty Mongolian.
He daren’t sneak a peek at question twelve…
Edwin’s hopes took a nosedive. There was no way he would be able to attempt every question, let alone answer them all correctly.
Even above the noise of the storm, Edwin could hear the other kids tapping away on their touch-screens. Judging how fast their fingers were going, he guessed they weren’t having any problems with the test.
That was it. He was finished. He’d failed the Induction. Sighing with despair, Edwin planted his elbows on the desk and held his head in his hands. Maybe he wasn’t as brainy as he’d thought.
Then his gaze fell on the scaly purple book poking out of his schoolbag.
Edwin dismissed the idea. He didn’t need the Tome Terriblis. Bryony had cheated, but he was better than Bryony.
Then again, he’d already used the spell book to get him this far. It would be a shame to see all that magic go to waste if he flunked the Induction test.
Before he knew what he was doing, Edwin had picked up the Tome and laid it on his desk, prising apart the covers to expose the blank yellow pages.
He flinched at the musty aroma wafting from the Tome, but the odour was replaced by the even more pungent stink of mothballs. He looked round to see Madame Voltaria standing behind him. Edwin did his best to look as though he was merely pausing for thought, and waited until the Invigilator moved on before fetching his pen from his blazer pocket.
Immediately there was a puff of purple smoke, and the Spell Wizard appeared.
“Hi,” said the Spell Wizard. “It looks as though…”
Edwin panicked, and slapped the Spell Wizard’s hat. The Spell Wizard disappeared in another puff of smoke, just as Madame Voltaria came gliding back.
The Invigilator glared at Edwin with her orange zombie eyes. Again Edwin tried to look nonchalant, absently chewing the end of his pen until the Invigilator had passed.
Then he put pen to paper and began to write…