— —Gabriel is still sleeping big surprise so I decide to get ready by brushing my teeth, taking a shower, fixing my hair and putting on my new parental-purchased Hugo Boss dress shirt with matching pants, so that I look prim and proper like a good Asian and represent show off— — my family's status.
I walk down to the kitchen to see that Auntie is ready as well. There's a disgusted look in her eyes, as I pass her to get some milk out of the fridge. It can't be because of me, since I'm all dressed up and ready to go to church, so it must be because of Gabriel, who's still sleeping. I decide to skip breakfast altogether and rush upstairs to wake Gabriel up.
“ ”Leave me alone! Gabriel pleads, as he buries his head under the pillow. He pulls the comforter over himself to form an impenetrable fortress of fluffy cotton.
“Dude, we have to go to church. Auntie's already pissed at you for sleeping so late. I” really don't care about what Auntie thinks, but I do care about what she'll tell my parents.
“Alright, alright. I'm getting up. By the way, I was dreaming about Emilie, my nubile ”love, Gabriel mutters with a pestering tone. I grab his pillow and proceed to beat him with it. He laughs and nearly trips over the bedroom rug, as he runs into the bathroom. I'm laughing, too, because he's completely naked.
After Gabriel finishes getting ready, in a record time of onlytwo hours, alongside another record of Auntie complaining just once, we pack in my car and drive to Auntie's new church, Unity Mission Church of Christ. Unity Mission Church looks like a giant stadium: tall beaming steel structures supporting double-reinforced concrete walls, stain-glassed windows the size of truck bays, massive marble columns shouldering the mirrored ceiling of the church —entrance and featuring from the inside: a fully-equipped, Olympic-size swimming pool plus spa, an arcade, a car care center, a complete fitness center that could rival 24 Hour Fitness and even a Starbucks inside for all your caffeinated, praying needs. This is a typical megachurch, the result of too many snobby people with too much money. It's interesting that this is supposeto be a Church of Christ, the same Christ that preached against the sins of greed and avarice. The church members of Unity Mission probably missed that particular sermon.
I think about all the poor, starving children around the world as we walk through the church parking lot, which is full of luxury cars: BMW's, Mercedes Benz convertibles, Lexus sedans, among many others. Consider WWJD: What Would Jesus Drive? I know he wouldn't drive any of those cars. I guess Unity Mission Church members don't practice what Jesus preaches. Gabriel points his finger at the cross near the top of the roof to show me how miniature it is in comparison to the entire megachurch.
Upon entering the main entrance, we see a vast sea of people, hundreds waiting in separate lines and many in groups of circles. It takes some time, but we finally make our way into the sanctuary. The inside of the sanctuary is even more impressive, like a grand concert hall: bright lights shining from above the mile-high ceiling, rows of pews cascading down like a torrential river flowing to the bottom, screens literally as big as those in a movie theatre hanging high above, and at the top of the chancel, a sound system with a speaker as wide as a football field and just as expensive, too, from Auntie's explanation.
We sit in the nosebleed section of the megachurch way in the back, as the front and middle sections are already full. I find it surprising that there aren't any event ushers to check our tickets—just joking, of course. Auntie recognizes a friend over in the next pew so she gets up to talk to her. Gabriel and I sit there silently and awkwardly, not knowing anyone.
Once the sermon starts, I notice a number of cameras at the center of the nave. Apparently, this church service is a live televise, broadcasting all over the Bay Area. I'm guessing I can't sleep through service, like I usually do. I'll probably have to babysit Gabriel and keep him from snoring too loud. Speaking of which, he's already starting to doze off why— the hell did I bring Gabriel?
When it's finally over, after about two hours of the same, monotonous stuff that I've heard since I was a child, we walk out towards the main hallway. Auntie sees some more of her friends and walks over to talk to them. I'm with Gabriel, both of us standing silently and awkwardly, just like during service, by the entranceway. All of the sudden, I notice a girl and a guy walking towards us. As they come closer, I realize that I recognize that girl: Emilie! What's she doing here in Palo Alto? My heart starts pounding fast as I begin to fix my hair, suavely of course. I rub my eyes and nose to make sure that there's nothing nasty visible. I know my breath is okay since I'm chewing gum, even throughout all of service earlier. Gabriel catches “her eyes and says, Hey Emilie. How's it going?”
“Hi Gabriel, I'm doing good, Emilie replies. How about you? Gabriel and Emilie use” “ ”
to be friends when they were kids, since their parents were in business together.
“I'm alright. You know Johnson, right? Gabriel asks. Oh, please say Yes. Please” “ ” “ ”say Yes.
“ ”Yes, I do. Hello, Johnson, Emilie smiles with her response. Alright! She knows that I exist.
“ ”Hey Emilie, I say smoothly, as if she's just another person off the street, even though she's the only girl that I ever think about.
“By the way, I'd like you guys to meet Ronald. I totally forgot about the guy that she's”
with. Why does she have to ruin things by introducing him?!
“ ”Hello, Gabriel says politely.
“ ”Hi, I add perfunctorily, as if he's really just another person off the street.
Gabriel notices my tone and immediately asks Emilie, So what are you doing here in“
Palo Alto?”
“I'm visiting a few friends, but Ronald is from around here. He lives in San Jose. I” wish he would stay there in San Jose and leave us alone.
“That's cool. Johnson and I are here to visit his Auntie. Don't say Auntie, Gabriel!” “ ” “That makes me sound like I'm a little kid. Oh, we were talking about you, Emilie, just the ”other day. Damn it! Don't say that either! Why the hell did I bring Gabriel?
“ ”Oh, what about? Emilie tilts her head slightly with an inquisitive look.
“Johnson says that the two of you are in the same molecular biology class together.”
“Oh, yeah, that's right, Emilie confirms. We're also in the same lab.” “ ”
“Well, Johnson was saying how you're really smart and how he really wishes that you ”could tutor him. I'm really going to stop hanging out with Gabriel after I kill him, of course.—
“ ”Sure, no problem, Emilie turns towards me and smiles, making this the perfect moment to take a picture of her beautiful, immaculate face. Anytime, just let me know. Well,“
we have to get going. We're eating lunch with Ronald's parents.”
“Alright, see you later then. Have a safe trip back to OC, Gabriel says, as we wave”
goodbye to them.
“Gabriel! What's wrong with you?! I snap at him fiercely.”
“Hey, chill, man! I'm helping you out. Now's your chance to talk to her and stop being a
shy, little bitch, Gabriel urges, “andyou can thank me later. Oh, yeah, one more thing: I saw her a few weeks ago and told her that you liked her.”
“ You what? What the hell is wrong with you? I scream, causing several people to”
stare in our direction.
“Relax, bro. She said that you're really cute. She wonders why you never talk to her.”
“She said that? Really?”
“Yeah. So do you want to thank me or kill me? Gabriel asks rhetorically, showing a”
proud, accomplished smile. Did I mention that Gabriel's my best friend and the coolest person in the entire world?
“I love you, Gabriel. You are indeed wonderful and wait why didn't you tell me that— —
you talked to her a few weeks back? I really am going to kill Gabriel.”