I was bored so I thought that I’d hitch over to Lahina side and check out what my friends the derelicts under the Banyan tree to see what was shaking. They were always entertaining unless they had already passed out, but it was still early now so they should all be quite lively. I was standing on the road in Wailuku when a VW Bug pulled over and I got in. The guy driving says that he is going to Kaanapali, a little north of Lahina. As we're chatting on our way through the sugar cane he tells me that he was in a rock group. I didn't recognize him but thought that he could be since a lot of rock and rollers hung around Lahina especially during whale watching season which it now was. He tells me his name (I'll call him Greg Patton) and that he was the most obscure member of a famous rock quartet. I still don't recognize him even when he tells me the band’s name but what the heck, I tend to believe what folks tell me as long as it doesn't cost me anything. When we got to Lahina he asks me what I was going to do there.
I tell him and ask if he'd like to join me.
He says how about he buy me a beer at the bar next to the Banyan tree instead because he had a little time to kill and didn't want to drink alone or be out in public.
I tell him that sounded good to me.
We enter the bar, get a table, some pupu's and a couple of cold Heinies. The bar was fairly crowded as it was just getting to be lunchtime. We sit there talking, eating our snacks and toking on our beers for about ten minutes when a babe around 20 years old comes over to the table and says, "Excuse me, but aren’t you Greg Patton?"
Greg tries to ignore her but she asks again, "You are Greg Patton, aren’t you? I've seen you in concert before and I just wanted to tell you how much I just love your music.” She gushes then, “ I have all your albums and think that you're the best group in rock and roll today..."
She probably would have rattled on longer but Greg stops her by saying, "Thank you very much, but I'm drinking with a friend right now. If you'd like an autograph, I’d be happy to give you one."
The babe turns to the table she was sitting at and mouths, 'It's him'.
Three more babes get up and come over to our table, grab chairs, sit down and pretty soon are telling Greg how much they all love him, the group and their music.
The babe sitting next to me, turns to me with a big smile then says, "Are you in the band?"
I say, "No."
And even before the 0 has left my mouth, her smile drops and she turns back to Greg where she puts on another great big smile. Greg is telling them that he would be glad to give them all autographs if they would leave us to our beers. But the girls don't hear a word he says and just keep jabbering away. Finally Greg drains his beer then says to me, "Let's get out of here." He tells the girls that he has an appointment and has to go. They want to know who with and maybe could they come along. He tells them no. We get up and leave the bar. The girls follow us all the way to the car, chattering the whole way then wave bye-bye as we pull away.
I say, "Gee, I guess you really are Greg Patton."
He smiles saying, "Yeah. And most of the time it's great but sometimes, like back there, it's just a pain in the ass."
I tell him about the babe’s reaction to my "No."
He laughs and says, "If you had told her "Yes" you'd be getting laid right now."
I tell him that getting a piece of ass in the real world is no easy task.
He nods then says, "At a concert I can have any girl in the first five rows and almost anyone that asks for my autograph. Shit, they even bribe the security guards with blowjobs just to get backstage or onto our floor at the hotel. Yeah, other than the money, it's the best part of being a rock star. No, it's not bad at all." By now we're on our way to Kanaapali when he says, "Oh, I forgot, you wanted to stay in Lahina." and pulls over.
Well, I really wasn't doing anything important but since he didn't ask me to accompany him farther, I told him thanx, nice to meet ya and got out.
He says, "later" and drives away.
When I got back to Lahina I went back to the bar to see if those four babes were still there. I though 'well, they know I'm not in the band, but he did say I was his friend. Maybe I can play on that, but they were gone so I join my friends under the Banyan tree and tell them the story. They all say I was stupid for not lying to that chick so I could of gotten into her pants.
I have to agree.
Through the years I have heard a lot of females say how they do not care how rich or poor, big or small, handsome or plain a man is. That they are much less shallow and much more romantic than we men are. That as long as their man loves them and treats them right then that is all they really care about. Whenever I do hear this I always think back to that time in Lahina in the bar with the rock star and how easy I could of gotten laid just by looking that babe in the eye and lying, "Yes, I am with the band."