Pat has brought a new love to our house on 25th St. She’s in heaven since she has had any for over a week. And man, is he good-looking, in fact, his name is Handsome Johnny. Besides being young and healthy, he’s big, he’s blond and he’s built. As soon as Joanne saw him she started salivating and, as she told us, when Pat’s done with him, she has plans of her own for the boy. Pat, after feeding Johnny and plying him with some of her best dope, is off to her bedroom for a wild night of the old hot and nasty. Next afternoon when Pat gets up leaving her amour in bed resting, Joanne wants to know not only all the dirty details but, is Pat finished with the stud and does Pat think Johnny can go another round with her? Pat tells Joanne she’s satiated and wishes Joanne good luck. And since their friends Joanne can even use her bed for the rest of the day. Hell, Johnny probably won’t even notice there’s a different girl in bed with him, or care if he does. He came to fuck. That night Pat kicks Joanne and Johnny out of her room so she can get some sleep. Joanne takes Johnny down to her room to finish him off. Next day Handsome Johnny leaves and everyone is happy.
Little over a week later Pat tells us that she’s noticed a burning sensation whenever she pees. Joanne tells us she’s perceived the same. They look at each other and at the same time say, “Handsome Johnny!”
Pat says she’s going over to the free clinic to get tested and heads out the door. Next day the clinic calls her with the results: She, and anyone who she’s had sexual relations with for the past two weeks, has the clap. She and they had better get their butts over there for some medication and quick too, or they’ll be sending over the clap cops. Pat tells Joanne they had better sit down and make a list of everyone they should call.
As they’re discussing the list Joanne has a brilliant idea saying, “Hey, as long as we all got to go in for the shot and then have go an entire week without sex, we mise well have an orgy with everyone else who’s infected. We can all hit the clinic the next day.”
Pat agrees, it’s a splendid idea. They spend the rest of the day on the phone calling all the bodies who they’ve had sex with for the last two weeks. They tell them about the clap party and for them to call everyone who they’ve had sex with telling them about the getting the clap and the shindig and so on and so forth. The orgy is planned for the next night.
That evening the guests start arriving. Here in sexually liberated San Francisco I thought there’d be a whole lot of folks showing up but by the time the festivities start there’s only about 10 or 12 freeks including Handsome Johnny. Most of the attendees are guys, which is just fine with Pat and Joanne. Joanne ask Lindsey, my wife, and me if we want to join in.
]I tell her, “As far as I know, we ain’t got the clap, and if you think I’m going a week without fucking then you’re out of your tree.”
Everyone retires to Joanne’s large basement room taking their booze and dope with them and except when somebody comes upstairs for either a drink or a pee it’s a fairly quiet night.
Noonish the next day everyone’s up and awake. After a few wake up J’s and a little breakfast, it’s everybody pile into a car and ride over to the clap clinic. There they received a strong dose of penicillin administered in the gluteus maximus by syringe plus a lecture on the evils of unprotected sex and a warning not to have any sexual intercourse for 14 days. Pat and Joanne return home still satisfied from last night but also a little bummed. No sex for a week! How will they manage.
I just smile and say, “Well, ya gotta pay to play.”