I had just finished up a two week excursion to the rugged lands of south Texas, and the even more twisted landscape of my own mind, where I had been in search of the elusive and then enlightening Mescalito. Now I was on my way back to California when, standing on the highway leading out of El Paso and into New Mexico, a brand new Cadillac stopped. I ran up to the passengers door and peered in. Inside, in the drivers seat, was a guy who looked to be in his mid 30’s and a young girl looking no older than 20. I asked where they were going and the dude told me LA. I said I was going to San Diego and if it was okay I’d ride that far with them. The guy told me to hop in. Me and my backpack got in back and down the road we went. The guy introduced himself as Edward and the girl as Brandy. After a little get to know you chat Edward told me that he was a professional gamble and had been for his entire life.
When I asked Brandy what she did she laughed and told me, “Well, nothing right now, but I did just quite my job as a undercover cop.”
So of course, I wanted to know what an ex-cop and a professional gambler were doing together and here’s the story they told:
“I was in Dallas for a couple months playing poker in the card rooms.” Edward says, “And was making a good living at it too when all of a sudden it seem I was always getting hassled by the cops. Every time I drove from my apartment to one of the card rooms, a cop would pull me over for some chickenshit reason, then detain me for an hour while he checked me for wants and warrants. I was clean so they had to let me go, but before they did the cop would always give me some friendly advice that it was time for me to move along. After the first time or two I even considered relocating, but then I thought, ‘Fuck it, I ain’t breaking no laws and I’m making good money here, so the hell with them.’ After about 6 weeks the harassment stopped and I thought they had either finally gotten tired of their game or had found some other new victim. Two weeks later Brandy walked into the club I was playing in and we hit it off.”
“I had always wanted to be a cop ever since I was a little girl.” Brandy says continuing the story, “So I joined the force right out of high school and was sent to the Police Academy. About a week before I was to graduate I was called into the Commanders office. When I entered the office there was another scruffy looking guy with the commander. The commander introduced the guy as the head of Dallas Vice then he informed me that the Dallas PD would like me to go undercover. I was ecstatic. He said, if I volunteered that instead of graduating with my class I would instead go right to Dallas and join their Vice Squad where, after a short training course from them, I would hit the streets. I immediately said yes. I went back to my room, packed my things and left for Dallas with the Vice cop. On the ride to Dallas the officer told me that they were having trouble with a certain gambler who they were sure was cheating some of the locals out of their money. They hadn’t been able to pin anything on him as yet so that’s where I would come in. Being young and pretty I was to insinuate myself with him, gain his confidence, find out how he was cheating then call the vice squad in to bust him. After that he said, if I did well, I would go undercover on other assignments until my cover was blown. For this I would be fast tracked for promotion. He told me that I was very lucky to receive a chance like this and I had to agree. I couldn’t have been happier.”
“After a weeks training on undercover work and a day of studying the suspect I was ready to roll. I put on my sexiest outfit and walked into the poker parlor that Edward was playing in.”
“I noticed her right away.” Edward says, “Not many young girls enter card rooms. And she didn’t play cards, she just seemed to hang out and watch the action. After a couple days she walked up to me and told me she wanted to learn how to play poker and that I looked like a winner. I was happy to oblige her. We sat down at an empty table and I started telling her how the game was played.”
“Yeah,” Brandy continues, “In the next few days when he wasn’t playing Ed taught me not only the physical part of the game but the mental and psychological part as well, which is really the most important parts. The Vice officer had given me a thousand dollars to start with and told me that if I needed more I only had to ask because they wanted this guy real bad. It seems he had taken some very important people for a lot of their money. After a couple weeks of hanging out with and getting to know Ed I found out what a sweet man he really is. I asked him about cheating and he told me that a good player never has to resort to it because it’s so easy to take the suckers money without it.”
“That’s right.” Edward says, “A good player can take a bad players money almost every hand no matter what cards your holding. Ninety percent of the people playing poker don’t know how the game is really played. By the way, do you play?” I told Edward that I knew which hands beat what but as to the psychology of the game I didn’t know much. He said, “That’s about all most folks do know but they all think they know a lot more than they really do, and that’s how you take their money. Only the suckers cheat, the pro’s don’t have too.”
“Anyway,” Brandy says, “After a couple weeks with Ed I told the head of Vice that Ed wasn’t cheating, Ed was just a good player, but he didn’t believe it. He told me Ed must be cheating, that Ed just hadn’t confided in me yet and told me to get back to work until I got the evidence to bust Ed with. When I doubted his assertion of the situation he got mad at me and threatened to pull me off the case then sent me back to the Academy. He said I would be very foolish to blow this opportunity. So I went back to work.”
“After a month I knew that Ed wasn’t cheating, plus I found myself falling in love with him. I went back to the head of Vice and told him Ed definitely wasn’t cheating. He asked me if there was anything that Ed was doing that we could bust him for? I told him not that I knew of. He then “suggested” that I “find” something to pin on Ed that we could arrest him for and send he to jail. I asked if he wanted me to falsify my report or plant evidence. He asked if I was a team player. I told him I’d think about it and left. I went straight to Ed and told him the whole story and about my feelings for him.”
“The part about the cops really didn’t surprise me” Edward says, “but Brandy saying that she loved me really floored me. I’m just an old out of shape gambler and here’s this beautiful young woman telling me not only that she loves me, but she is quitting her job and she wants to live with me. I could hardly believe it. I asked her what she wanted to do?”
“And” Brandy breaks in, “I told Ed that we should leave Dallas because the cops would now not only be pissed off at him but would be really angry with me.”
“We packed up the car and left town last night.” Ed says, “Now were on our way to the card rooms of southern California where almost everyone who plays there thinks that they’re smarter than they really are. And I’ve never been happier. With Brandy by my side there’s nothing to stop us. She’s even developing into quite the poker player. Together we’ll really be able to separate the sucker from their money.” Brandy agrees with Edward and she snuggles into him as we ride off into the sunset.