CHAIN OF FOOLS
When I got to Lahina I saw Annie, one of the gang that hangs out under the banyan tree panhandling tourist. She was all by herself I walked up to her and asked what the haps were? She said everyone else had gone on a shopping (lifting) trip. She said she just didn't feel like going so I asked her if she wanted a beer to make her feel better. Of course she did. We went to the bar next to the tree, sat down and ordered two frosty ones. Since it was early in the afternoon the place wasn't too crowded. Just us and a few other hoale's minding their own business.
We're about half way through with our brews when three large mokes enter the bar and look around. One of then elbows another then points to one of the haoles then all three of them walk over to an average looking local white dude, who by the looks of things has had a history with these particular pineapples before because they immediately start hassling him.
The guy ignores them.
They ain't letting that happen. Then he tries to laugh them off. No go. Finally he tries reasoning with them. Again, they're not buying it.
I can't say exactly what the mokes where harassing the haole about because all three of them were talking loudly at the same time but it had something to do with a past grievances about some land deal that involved their auntie. Anyway the white guy stands up and tries to walk away but the Hawaiians block his exit and start calling him names then start pushing him around.
The bartender has had enough and tells them all to take it outside or he's calling the cops. With that the mokes kind of escort the haole out of the bar telling him he is going to get his ass kicked as soon as the get to the street.
When they do hit the street the haole bolts running as fast as he can to get away from these creeps. The Hawaiians just laugh at him calling him a pussy whose ass they will kick sooner or later. With them congratulating themselves out on the street we in the bar think the show is over so we all go back to our drinks. But it ain't over because a few minutes later here's comes the haole running back toward the bar except this time he's got a tire iron in one hand and a length of chain in the other.
The pineapples don't look to concerned and present to him a united front. Which lasts for about 30 seconds until the white guy starts whipping the shit out of all three of them. Oh they try to fight back but they're too big and slow for the dude and now it's him cussing them while he whales on their asses. Pretty soon they're vacillating between begging for mercy and telling him he is a dead man. But I do have to admit they took their beating pretty well. They didn't even try to run away. If it had me there would have only been crying for mercy between the I'm so sorry's as I tried to get the hell out of there.
Well the fun can't last. The bartender must have called the cops as soon as they left the bar because within a minute a squad with it's bubblegum going pulls up and stops. The doors fly open and both cops get out with their guns drawn screaming at the white boy to drop his weapons or they will shoot him.
The guy has enough presence of mind to do as he's told and let go the iron and chain. The cops swarm him throwing him to the ground then cuffing him.
The cops ask the Hawaiians, who are bloodied and bruised but not beaten, what the hell happened. The mokes say they don't know. They were just hanging out when this maniac attacked them. Why they don't even know the guy.
However, some of us hearing this and who witnessed the whole event tell the cops the real story. We say to them it was all the Hawaiians fault, they started it and the haole was just defending himself. But the cops ain't buying it especially when they hear the haole got away then came back.
They say that wasn't self defense, that was just plain stupidity so the white dude is going to jail. We want to know what about the Hawaiians, are they getting arrested too? Nope, the cops tell us they are the victims and anyway, look at them they've already been punished. The mokes looked pleased when they hear this but then they turn around and give us all the stink eye for ratting them out.
The cops put the haole in the back of the boat and pull away heading for the Wailuku jail. The mokes leave walking down the street high five-ing themselves. The rest of us all go back into the bar to finish our now warm drinks.