KHAJURAHO
All of our friends here are always telling me "You've been coming here a long time and are always writing so when are you going to write something about Khajuraho?" This is not only for you but for them as well.
The very first time that my lover Kelly and I came to India we asked the Tourist Officer in New Delhi, "Where are them Sex Temples at? "
The clerk looked at us like he didn't know what we were talking about and said, "What Sex Temples?”
I said, "You know, the ones with carvings of people screw screwing all over them."
The clerk still looked mystified but Kelly pointing to a poster over his head said, "Those Sex Temples."
The clerk said, “Oh you mean Khajuraho.” and told us how to get there.
Getting there today is almost as much as a hell ride as it was 15 years ago. It still takes two days to go less than 300 miles, but it's worth every uncomfortable mile. From Agra, home of the most magnificent structure ever created by man, the Taj Mahal, you take an approximately 8 hour train journey to Jhansi where you have to spend the night. Next morning you'll have to board an old very crowded local bus and bounce along at 25 mph for the next seven hours and by 1 p.m. you will be there. As you get off the bus, you'll be besieged by touts for every price of hotel. But if you want cheap and best then head for the Yogi Lodge run by Yogi Sharma and his 3 sons, Papu, Big Papu and little Papu. When the Yogi is IN and if you get up early enough, you can join him on the roof for a free session of yoga. He's always glad to have the company. If you can pay a little more for a little nicer room then go to either the Surya or Lakeside Hotel. You'll have to pay double or even triple the Yogi's price depending on the season, but the garden at the Surya or the sunsets at the Lakeside are wonderful
"Yeah," you say, "hotels are important but what about them Sex Temples." The temples were built around a thousand years ago by the Chandel Empire. They're made of stone and are totally covered with carvings depicting the drugs, sex and rock and roll of the day which was, sex with anything that moved, war, gleefully killing all of your enemies, and music and dance, party afterwards then have more sex. The sex carvings not only show humans having sex with each other in every combination and with their favorite animals, but they show the gods screwing each other too. If you want the entire skinny about the temples then ask for Mr. Khare, the official unofficial guide who will not only give you a longer tour than one of the official guides but will charge you only half as much and will even party with you afterwards.
Khajuraho is a very small village by Indian standards, only about 7000 souls so it's a good place to meet rural Indians who not only speak pretty good English but who will not follow you around staring at you like it they would in a regular Indian village. These people have been dealing with honky’s for 20 years now and are used to our strange ways and anyway, they have a life. Also, if you want some ganja or bhang, the village is the place to score. Ask any male over the age of 40 and he'll be glad to get you some, he and his friends will even share a chillum with you. It won't be very good but it will be very cheap. BOM SHIVA! BOM BOLI! It's illegal now but nobody here really cares, after all it's been a Shiva village for over 5000 years. The law is just a momentary aberration, like the one saying that no one can get married under the age of 18 when at least 80% of all village girls in all of India are not only married by then, but have at least one baby. Every one in India knows that the government is stupid and should be ignored
Well, it's lunch time and you're hungry so where do you go? All the restaurants in Khajuraho are pretty much the same, only the price varies. However, the two that I like best are: The Marwari Sri Chandel by the new market because not only is it very cheap but everything is made fresh and unless you order something fried, they use no oils in their cooking. The other place is under the Baobob tree in the old Raja market called Argawals, which has the best tandoor chapaties in town, even the locals eat there. Also, if you have any laundry take it along because right next to Argawals is Mr. Shimlar Washerman who will wash and iron all your clothes and at a good price too, in by 7 p.m., out by 6 p.m. the next day. The best sweet shop in town is right across from Argawals so stop by and ask if they’re making cake today (cake in India is milk and sugar that’s been boiled all day until it becomes a solid and it is delicious). On your way out of the market stop and make a wish under the Baobob tree. There's only three or four of them in all of India and this one’s over 200 years old. Mr. Khare can tell you all about it.
As you enter or leave the temples you will be accosted by a hoard of post card sellers. The best thing to do is to buy a set right away, they're cheap, then carry them with you to show all the other sellers that you already have some. The same with the gift shops. They all have about the same things so if you want something from Khajuraho, look around at a couple at random and pick the cheapest. To get around you can, walk, rent a bike or use bicycle rickshaws, everything's within a mile of one another so what ever you choose is no problem. One thing you should try while you're there is sweet Pan, it's some of the best that I've ever had in all of India. It's as pan leaf stuffed with masala powder, honey, mango chutney, sweet anise, coconut, raisin, cashew, candied fruit and secrete ingredients which is then rolled up, shoved into the mouth after dinner and chewed. It comes with or without beetle nut, which contains nicotine. Chew it slowly savoring all those sweet flavors and all for just two rupees (6 cents). YUM!
The best time to go is Feb.-Mar when they have a world famous Indian dance festival there that is really good. Classical dancers and musicians come from all over India to perform for this two week long festival, but it will be very crowded and room rates will be double. Holi is at this time of year too and this is one of the best tourist places to play it at in all of India. You can either go to the village and go wild with the Indians or stay by the temples and be left alone. (What a drag, only a total wuss wouldn't want to eat bhang, get colored and party for the three days!) However, anytime, except May-June when the temp soars to 115 in the shade, is a good time to go. Especially during any Black (new) Moon when the entire village takes a public bath in the tank (small manmade lake) across from the Lakeside Hotel and there's a street faire all day long.
There's lots of side trips around Khajuraho too, waterfalls, a wild animal park, a diamond mind where you can dig for your own diamonds, an old fort and palace, and because it's so out of the way none of these places are ever crowded except during the dance festival.
Yes, unless you're rich and can fly, it's hell to get to and out of, but it's well worth the trip. We go there every time we come to India and we stay at least a month. There's not much to do there except sit in the temple garden (admission 2 cents, Friday’s free), visit with the Indians and watch the beauty going on all around you. What more could you ask for?