Australia, land of Koala’s and Emu’s, of Kangaroo’s and Cockatoo’s, of Croc’s and Dingo’s, and of Sheila’s and Wanker’s. It is a great land of forests, deserts and ocean, and my lover Kelly and I had come for a visit. Since we didn’t have mucho cashola we figured we’d hitch up to Cairns from Sidney then find an under-the-table job as illegal aliens which isn’t that hard to do since there’s no Mexicans in Oz to do stoop labor or to wash dishes for little money. In fact, since whites do almost all of the work there and demand a decent living wage, prices are outrageous (next time you bitch about the “wetbacks” here in the US, think: How would you like to pay $2 to $3 a pound for fruits and veggies?) Anyway, early one morning we hit the highway heading north. Hitching is fairly easy in Australia. In one sense they’re a lot like Americans; loud, gregarious, opinionated and willing to tell you their life story so they love to talk to you while giving you a ride. But in another sense they’re just like the British; only outwardly friendly, very sarcastic and extremely class conscience so they never invite you into their homes and they are always superior to you since you’re only a “Yank”.
On our hitch we were enchanted with the wild life. It’s all over the place. Where ever you look, there it is! Especially once you get up into the tropics. The first thing you notice is the bird life. Anyone who’s seriously into birding should go to Australia. Birds are every where, flocks and flocks of them. So many that sometimes they darken the sky with their passing. There are huge Emu’s walking down the road. Black Cockatoo’s sitting in the trees tearing them apart with their beaks. Butcher Birds singing beautiful songs all day long. Gala’s with their dove gray backs and rosy pink fronts. Rainbow Lorikeets who will guard a fruit tree until the fruit over ripens and becomes mildly alcoholic, then they party! They eat the fermented fruit until they get falling down drunk. And... well, there’s just too many beautiful and unusual birds to list here. Then there’s the Kangaroo’s who love the well kept grass in the parks and on the golf courses. All day long they loll around nibbling the green grass. And there’s the lovable Koala’s. Usually to see them you have to stop at a roadside zoo since they live high up in the trees and prefer roaming around at night. But you have to be careful too, there are lots of nasty’s in Australia. From poison toads that hippies illegally lick to get high off of, to extremely poisonous snakes and of course, the dreaded Crocodile. Every year scores of people are eaten by croc’s. One second they’re playing in the water, in the next they’re gone. In the sea you have to watch out too. Not only are there lots of big mean man eating sharks but there’s even a seriously poisonous octopus and a host deadly jellyfish. This is one paradise that definitely has thorns, but it is so very beautiful. About the only bummer was: The Aussies have treated the Aborigines almost as badly as we had treated the Indians in the US. They stole their land, killed off any who resisted, put the rest on reservations until they either died of malnutrition or of alcoholism then denied them any place in their society except as objects of amusement or scorn.
It took Kelly and I about a week to get up as far as Yapoon, a nice little tourist town right on the coast well into the tropics. The weather for the most part was sunny and warm. All that would change very quickly. Since this was a nice place we decide to stay for a few days. We found a campground that had toilets, showers and a laundry room. We checked in and put up our tent. The first couple of days it was a little windy but still pleasant, then one morning we awoke to rain. No biggie, this is the tropics. But then instead of letting up it started raining harder and harder, plus there wasn’t any sign that it would be letting up anytime soon. We went to the office and asked the woman who ran the place what was happening.
“Well,” she said, “we’re in for a bit of a blow. Seems there’s a cyclone headed this way. They’re calling him Charlie and he should be here by tomorrow morning. Gonna get mighty wet here for the next few days.”
This was not good news for two people living in a small cheap flimsy tent. Kelly and I discussed it. We could run for it, but where would we go? We decided that since the owner had told us it was only for a few days we could tough it out as long as it didn’t get too bad. If it did, then we’d run.
Well, Cyclone Charlie came ashore the next morning, and stayed, not for a few days, but for 10 long days. Charlie hit the shore but instead of going inland and burning himself out, he bounced off the coast and went back into the ocean, renewed his strength then came ashore again, and again, and again. He never did get bad in the sense that we were in any real danger from drowning or from objects flying through the air, but man oh man, did it rain! For almost 3 weeks it rained. By the time we had decided to make a run for drier climbs, it was too late. All the roads were flooded and impassable, as were the train tracks. It was way too expensive for us to fly out so we were stuck. For the duration of the storm we hung out in the town library in the day and slept in the laundry room at night. Our tent had had it by the end of the third day. Thank God for clothes dryers. Since Australia is fairly flat, everything was anywhere from a couple inches to a few feet under water. The Aussies understand this building their homes atop 8 foot pilings to stay warm and dry. I wouldn’t say we suffered but it was mighty uncomfortable.
By the time the storm abated and the roads opened we were getting pretty low on funds. Kelly and I decided to chuck in the trip up to Cairns where maybe we could get work and make some bread. Instead we hitched back down to Sydney where there were lots of illegal jobs. We already had onward plane tickets. We only needed to make enough so we’d have some bucks once we got to our next destination: New Zealand, home of the nicest white people on earth. Hitching is so easy. Why just stick out your thumb and someone will not only stop but will take you home for a meal and maybe a place to sleep. But that’s another story.