Dreams, like masturbation, are something everybody does but no one talks about. Maybe dreaming, like jacking off, is just too personal to disclose to others. The only time that you might hear of one is when someone says, "Man, did I have a weird dream last night." Then sometimes they may elaborate but a lot of times won't, they just switch to another subject.
So I thought I would tell you what my dreams are like and you can compare, maybe they are as different as you and me, or maybe they are pretty much the same for everyone. Choking my chicken I'll just keep to myself for now.
A lot of folks that I've asked about their dreams simply say "Oh I know I dream, but most of the time I just don't remember them."
Well, I remember mine, unless I've been drinking or doping. Each morning I can remember all of them that I've had the previous night, but then I have been practicing being conscience in my dreams for over 20 years and by now I'm getting pretty good at it. I first learned about the possibility of dream conscienceness from reading Carlos Castenada's Don Juan's books and have been practicing it ever since. Now in fact, I can pretty much control what is going on in them. If I don't like the way they're going, I use narrative to get them to go the way I want. I tell the dream what story line to follow and it usually does. If it doesn't, I simply wake myself up or switch to a different dream. I, like the Aborigines of Australia, believe that the dream is just another form of reality and that in order to become a whole person we have to get as good at using them as we are in our waking reality. For me it's almost as important about what goes on in my dreams as it is as what goes on when I'm awake so whenever I enter my dream reality I always try to pay attention to what's going on around me.
Most of my dreams are not too much different than my waking reality except that something always fantastic happens to show me that I am not in my waking reality. I lead an ordinary life, doing ordinary things for about 80% of all my dreams, an ordinary dream life that is. In waking reality we have five senses that are pretty much equal. However, in the dream state there's very little smell or taste and except for kissing and sex, there are almost no physical sensations of touch. It's kind of like when a person looses their sight in the waking state and their other senses get more acute in order to compensate, so in the dream state my sight is very good, colors are extremely vivid and my hearing is crystal clear. I don't really need smell or taste because there is no need to eat, drink or smell, because although these things do bring pleasure to the body, they also cause pain and there is no pain in the dream state. Since all bodies are pure energy in the dream reality and all experiences are emotional there is no need for touch either. In our waking reality our physical bodies reign but in the dream reality it's our conscienceness.
The biggest difference between my waking reality and my dream reality is that the waking reality is linear and solid. In the dream reality everything is random and fluid, it's as easy to walk on water or in the air as it is on the earth, it's just a matter of Will, of intent. Also, in the dream reality, time does not exist. In any dream, I can be a prepubescent boy or a very old man, it goes to the context of the dream, or I can be anywhere in time from the ancient past to the present. If I've ever dreamed about the future I haven’t realized it. And I can jump my conscienceness from one male to another in any situation to get different points of view. I can pick any male of any race so I've been black, Latino, Asian and white, thought I haven’t been an American Indian yet. Whenever I try to jump into a female form something seems to stop me. But I'll keep trying until I can, and when I do the first thing I am going to do, after checking myself out, is to find some stud and get laid to see if I can get a clue about female sexuality.
Since I do have some degree of control over my dream state I usually stick with the same dream all night long unless it gets too boring. I will dream the dream for awhile then sleep, then pick it up where I left it off. Even if I have to get up to pee and get a drink of water, when I go back to sleep I will just pick up the dream again from the last installment. It's kind of like watching a video and using the pause button.
Most of my dreams are mundane everyday stuff. Last night’s is a good example. I only had two dreams last night. This is the long one that went on and off for about 3 hours. 'Kelly and I are either owners or managers of a three story hotel/bath house by a large river in some big European city. The hotel is on a corner, not facing the river but perpendicular to it. The building is old but well kept up. It’s built out of wood and painted a sandy color. The house next to us is about the same size and is painted gray. The top two stories of our hotel have rooms that we rent out, the bottom story is where we live and where the bathes are located. There’s four of them, all tiled. It has a big grassy fenced back yard with umbrella tables, a stone walkway and a flower garden. There are campers tents erected on the grass that belong to some paying guest, two young Spanish couples who are traveling around Europe for the summer. I meet them and we chat about their journey so far, which they're enjoying even though today is overcast and cool. The dream continues with Kelly and me taking care of the daily business of running the hotel; bicycling to the market for food, cleaning rooms and changing the sheets, cleaning the bathes, checking on our guests making sure their needs are met and chatting with them.
All of a sudden, one of the young Spanish girls dies. Her boyfriend is very distraught but we have to take care of the body. We put her into an all white dress then into a dark wood coffin. Everyone in the hotel then forms a procession and we hoist the coffin up onto our shoulders then walk out of town toward the graveyard. As we approach the graveyard all the colors fade out of the scene so that everything now is in black and white. The graveyard is like none on this earth, instead of green grass and white headstones it's just a big deep gray wet looking clay pit. We come up to the edge of the pit and straight down below us is a depression in the clay exactly the same size and shape as the young girls body. We take the body out of the coffin and drop it down into the pit.
As it falls, the dress comes away from the body and is now completely nude. It falls right into the depression. The rest of the graveyard is covered with a thick dark mass of hairy fungus that covers all the rest of the dead bodies that are undulating under it. The dead are crying and moaning in horror and in ecstasy, bewailing and reveling in their Fate. Their cries and moans make up a weird music that fills the air with their voices whispering past regrets and past joys. As the girl settles into her depression the death fungus touches her fingers and toes then starts covering her body. She starts withering and moaning with the rest of the dead. Her boyfriend seeing this, breaks down and begins weeping and sobbing. His tears form a little stream that drip down onto the face of his young girlfriend that has now been almost completely covered by the death fungus. Only her nose and mouth are left uncovered.
As the tears hit her face, the death fur fungus starts retreating form her head then her shoulders and breast until her entire body is free of it. Her boyfriend is crying so hard that he doesn't notice that his girlfriend is now totally free of the fungus and is floating back up out of the grave towards him. As she floats up her dress reassembles itself on her body then she floats up into the arms of her beloved. When he sees her back in his arms and now alive, he stops crying. They embrace and kiss. When they do, the color comes back into the world and the dead’s moaning is replaced by birds singing. Everyone is very happy for the young couple and we all return to the hotel where we all take up our normal lives again.'
I could go into exact detail about the rooms, the baths, the guests, even the neighborhood but you get the picture. My dreams are mostly about everyday life with me, and a lot of the times, Kelly, doing something usual, like working, traveling or just hanging out somewhere and living our lives. As far as I know all my dreams take place on this earth. This dream I just described ended with me sitting down in front of the TV and Clinton coming on to explain some bullshit of his and I thought, 'I don't need to hear this crap' and woke myself up. But who knows, maybe I'll pick it up again tonight or maybe a month or year from now.
I do have serial dreams with new episodes showing up every now and I even have they're reruns that sometimes I watch again. Some have been going on for years and most are just everyday situations. I have quite a few reoccurring dreams too. My favorite one involves me and my anima, but the other dream I had last night was a short one I've had many times before. It's one that I'm not even in. I think maybe it's from a movie but if I saw it I don't remember it. The scene goes like this;
We are looking at the inside of an expensive apartment’s door. It opens there stands Nick Nolte and Sally Fields. He's in a black tux. She's in a white bare shoulder evening dress, nicely make-up and wearing jewelry.
Sally does not look happy and Nick is saying "Jesus Christ, can't you just forget about it. It happened, it's over with and it's not like you've never had an affair."
Sally walks in, crosses her arms and says, "I don't think that I should just forget about it, and we are not discussing me. Now are we?"
Nick comes in and closes and locks the door, comes around in front of Sally facing her, starts kissing her neck, then say softly, "Come on, be nice, forget about it. Let's go to bed and make love all night long."
Sally looks stern and says, "I guess seeing your little Alaskan whore again has gotten you all horny. Well you can forget it. The only way we'll have sex tonight is if you rip my clothes off and force me."
While still kissing her neck, Nick rips off her top.
Sally looking really mad now says, "I can't believe you just did that. Are you crazy!"
Nick then rips off her skirt while still kissing her throat and shoulders. Sally is now standing there with only her shoes, stockings, panties and a sheer silky camisole top on. Nick goes around behind her and while still kissing her neck and ears, whispers into one of them, "Come on now honey, be sweet."
Sally says, "That outfit cost $500!"
Nick whispers "It's nothing. I’ll buy you another." and reaches around her and starts to massage her breast.
Her nipples get hard and show through her camisole. Sally then smiles, turns into Nicks arms and says, "You animal." then kisses him on the lips. End of scene.
I have dreamed this scene many times and it's always the same except that sometimes Nick's tux is white and Sally's dress is black. If it is from a movie, I would sure like to know which one. I think I like this scene because it shows human animal passion at it's best. The male is aggressive yet gentle, while the female is passive yet she instigates and controls the whole affair by her verbal taunts and queues.
The other 20% of my dreams are about equally divided between two very different types of dream realities. One is extremely violent, the other is lots of fun. There is one other kind but it's a lot of work and very rare. I don't have these kinds more than a few times a year but it is always exciting. Sometimes, just as I am falling asleep I am able to let my body and brain go all the way to sleep but I keep my conscience awake, then I enter into a true dream reality. I can go anywhere and see anyone just by willing it. My conscienceness will fly directly to the object that I am thinking about. If it is in a waking scene then I can only observe it. However, if I know that someone else is also asleep then I can enter into their dream state and interact with them. Except most of the time they do not want me there and will say in effect to me, "Gee Tai, this is my dream so will you leave me alone." I may harass them a little but then I will go and fly to somewhere else. Sometimes I ask the person the next morning about their dreams but they usually just say, "I don't remember them." These dreams are usually very short because it is extremely hard to maintain that state of concentration, but I'm working on it.
The violent dreams, what some folks call nightmares, are like being in a Bruce Lee movie. Every situation is filled with danger and almost everyone including the animals in them are violent. But once you realize that, not only is there no pain in the dream state and that you cannot be killed, then they are actually kind of fun. I have been shot, stabbed, hanged and drowned. I've been disemboweled and had all my limbs chopped off at one time or another. Once when I was walking down a street a big menacing figure stepped out of the shadows and cut off my head with one swipe of his battle axe. This pissed me off so much that I grabbed my head, put it back atop my shoulders then fought the asshole, got the axe away from him and had hacked him into hamburger. Even though I cannot be killed, I can still kill others but it's a lot of work. You just can't shoot them and walk away. Dream people are tough and hard to kill, you've really got to be really violent to do them in.
Although they are a violent nasty bunch, I try not to be. Even if I am provoked, I will walk away, but if anyone attacks me then I will do all I can by any means possible to kill them. My favorite way to kill them is to rip their heads off then kick it like a football. I usually win these fights. The only way I can be beaten is if they have the numbers. If it's only one or two then I always kick ass, but if it's more than five then I will fight as long as I can. There's no way that I can win so when I start losing bad, I just wake myself up or I will simply fly away since it is very seldom that I meet anyone else that can fly in the dream realities. Only twice have I ever lost in single combat. I just couldn't kill the fuckers so I flew away. One didn't follow but the other one hopped on a Harley and chased me until I had had enough and woke myself up. Some of you may ask that if I can control my dream state then why don't I just not go to that reality. The answer is: I do not know. It happens so I participate. I do not judge the situation, I simply enter into it. I know that I could avoid it but it's there, and it is thrilling, so why not?
The last one of my dream realities is a pure Joy. I fly, I party, I have sex, but mostly I just fly. Partying and sex are okay but I can't cum because sex is only emotional and not physical. It still feels good but not as good as a kiss. A kiss electrifies me and lights up my entire being. In the dream state there is nothing as pleasurable as a light kiss on the lips from a beautiful female, but flying is my true Joy. There are two types of flying.
One is: I simply relax my entire body and my Will then gently float up off the ground like a hot air balloon which feels nice. But true flying is exactly like Superman. I stretch out my arms over my head and it's up, up and away. If I want to go faster, I stretch out my arm farther, slower then just bring them back. Right, left, up and down are just a matter of Will. I love flying low and as fast as I can. In cities it's just above, or even through the buildings or through the streets around them. In the country it is just above the tree tops. Over the ocean just above the wave tops like a cruise missile. I almost never have anywhere to go, I'm just flying. One of my favorite things to do is fly straight up as high as I can go then let go of my Will and plummet back to earth. What a feeling! If I hit the water it's about the same as hitting the water in the waking reality but if I hit the earth it's like falling into honey. I sink down into the earth then bob back up like a cork to the surface. Sometimes I do this over and over again just for the sheer exuberant joy of it. Sometimes I find other beings to fly with, it is always a kind fun loving soul to have fun with, mostly though I fly alone but I am never lonely.
These then are my dream realities. Mostly they consist of an average life with a bit of fun and excitement thrown in for spice. I think that it does kind of mirror my waking reality, it’s just a little more extreme, but then it is the dream.
I do have one more thing in my life that I call waking dreams but I really do not know exactly what they are. They are scenes that I remember, that I have participated in, but even though emotionally I know I done these things, intellectually I know that none of them has really ever happened. I have never been physically to any of these places but I remember them all perfectly. Are they past lives, parallel universes, psychotic breaks, future events, other peoples memories that I have tapped in to? I just do not know. All I do know is that they have never happened to me in this reality but I still remember them clearly. Some are very short, just a scene that I am observing, others are longer that I am participating in. Here's a typical one.
I'm alone driving a green VW bug through a pine forest on a small mountain road. As I crest the hill I can see down into a shallow pine covered valley. As I drive through the valley I pass on my left a little country store/gas station made of old wood. As I continue there's a Y in the road with the main road veering of to the left. I turn right onto the secondary road and immediately the road starts to climb. The pine gives way to a mixed forest. When I crest that hill there's a gravel pull off at the top with a great view of the next valley. I pull off to the right onto the gravel, shut off the car then get out and shoulder my pack. I walk down an abandoned looking dirt road. After awhile I get to the bottom of the road with a medium sized stream with crystal clear water flowing over rocks and pebbles comes in from my right. It goes over a 4 foot fall into a 30 foot wide but shallow pool. Next to the pool is a grassy leaf studded area under a big oak tree. It's leaves are turning so I know it's autumn. I believe that I am somewhere in northern California. The stream continues across the road then falls away to my left. I pitch my tent then sit cross legged in the grass under the oak. The memory then ends. I have around a dozen of these and all of them are very vivid. Maybe some day I will find out where they come from, if not it doesn't matter. I'll just file them away with the rest of my dream realities and cherish them like all the rest.
Well, are our dreams the same? If not, it really doesn't matter as long as you enjoy yours as much as I do mine, so sleep with the angels and may all your dreams come true.