And so David was born to the tribe of Abraham and he did grow strong on the Faith of his forefathers. Yea as a child he did go to Synagogue on each Sabbath and when his time came became a man in the ancient ways of Bar Mitzvah. He did attend college and did receive high marks for he wanted to make his Mother and Father proud of their only son whom they loved. Yea though David was brought low when he did partake of the acid of knowledge and the ganja of truth. And ever though David wanted to remain strong in his old faith and please his parents he could not for he had tasted the fruit of the new more ancient wisdom. So amid much wailing and gnashing of teeth he said good bye to his Rabbi, his old faith and to his beloved parents and did travel to a new land where he could meet others who had also abandon their homes and families to be together in solace.
And yea they were mightily persecuted by the authorities for partaking in the new sacraments so that they did cry out 'What have we done to be treated so!" They had no priest or rabbis to guide them on their journey. Only their music brought them comfort and hope until the musicians became the prophets and joyous they were with strange and exotic name like “Big Brother and The Holding Company”, “The Jefferson Airplane” and even “The Grateful Dead.” And David loved his new life and friends and told his parents all about it and they did despair but did not give up hope that their only son would return to their ancient faith. And so did they devise a plan to bring their only son back into the fold. Calling upon their son they bestowed a gracious gift upon him.
A charter flight to the Holy Land with 7 days and 7 nights of sightseeing of the old and most holy places, of meetings with wise men in sacred places of worship. An all expense paid journey to the land of his ancestors, the land of his abandoned faith where it would be reawakened and he would leave his new foolishness behind. And David being an obedient and loving son did go into the land of Israel and was immersed in the faith that he had forsaken. And yea I say unto you that David was mightily confused. He had brought none of his new faith’s sacrament so he could not consult with them. And he did cry out "Which is right for me Oh Lord? For I feel so strongly for both." And he was torn.
After 6 days and 6 nights of the sights and sounds of his ancient Holyland, David made a decision. He would journey into the desert and seek an answer. And there he wandered into the land of Pharaoh and did meet with some nomadic peoples and he sought their advise. And yea they did give it. In exchange for all of his shekels they blessed him for 3 days and 3 night with the holy sacrament of his new religion and David was enlightened. He found that he loved his old faith as he loved his Mother and Father. However, he was no longer bound by its tenants and that his new faith was much more alive and real to behold. And when he did find his answer he did return to Israel with his decision and he was happy.
But yea though he was at peace the authorities were not. They took him away and questioned him "Do you not know that your charter flight left two day ago?" and "Why did you not tell your parents where you were going?" and "What do you plan to do with no money?" And they were mightily pissed off at him.
And David did say unto them ”Just send me back home and I will pay you back."
And the authorities did take David to the airport and put him into the belly of the airplane and did take away his passport saying unto him that he could not have back until he paid them back $1500 for the ticket plus interest and penalties. And David did laugh out loud for he planned never to leave his home again for he had found his answer.
David went into the house of his Mother and Father and told them his answer and they were sorely disappointed at his decision. But yea, they still loved their only son strongly and so accepted his chosen fate. They only asked that he not use his new sacrament when they were near. And David, being a loving and respectful son, did promise them this. And in accepting one another they did live Happy and Joyous lives Loving one another.