X.Turning pages
Joohee turns the page of her journal idly as she glances up at the television in front of her. The news is starting. Joohee loves watching political news because she wants to be a diplomat.
She drops the journal in order to free her writing hand to jots down some notes on a thick pad of paper in her lap. This way, she follows political stories, getting to know policy debates and prominent policy advocates and lawmakers.
After the news program is finished, she will look at the headlines of the two newspapers that are delivered to the family home just for her because of her hobby. Then, upon reviewing her notes and highlighting certain articles in the papers, she composes her next journal entry. Later, she clips the selected articles and dates them before placing them in their proper folders according to theme. She has a shelf full of her files.
Her younger brother comes into the room and laughs at her. He always laughs at her. He thinks she is strange. Believing it is beneath his dignity to expose himself to her strangeness, he turns to abruptly dart out of the room.
Joohee is the oldest child and only daughter of an agricultural researcher and a part-time social worker. Both her parents are government employees working in Daegu.
She has been elevated to be serious and look toward a meaningful career, even if she is female. As the eldest, her parents pay more attention to her career development and discuss it with her frequently. They have supported her entry into university and a half a year abroad to get English language immersion in Canada.
There is an agreement for Joohee to study English and international relations at a regional foreign studies university. She now is 23 and a sophomore.
Her brother, on the other hand, is concentrating on mathematics now and plans to study e-commerce after he finishes secondary school. He is 17 and has two more school years to finish. He gets steady high grades so his parents do not worry about him and his future, for now at least.
Joohee’s mother’s voice can be heard in the kitchen from the living room. “Don’t laugh at your sister. Anyone who has that much interest and works hard will succeed. You will see.”
Joohee smiles to herself. It is good to be home. She is spending the long holiday weekend there at the family home in her town of birth.
However, she has been enjoying the freedom of living independently in the big port of Busan. There, she shares an apartment with another student. They cook for themselves and sometimes go out to join friends for a meal or a drink.
Campus life is mundane. Joohee mostly just goes to classes when she is not studying at home. However, there is a small association of students in the International relations program. They hold informal debates and discussion periods once a month. Once a year, they invite a guest speaker and host a lecture. The guest speaker is usually someone with political experience and can draw a small crowd. Also, she has competed in a speech contest and been ranked third out of the 35 students who registered for it.
The highlight of her career to date has been the trip to Canada. There, she attended classes at a private institute every morning and got to know students from various countries. It had been thrilling to spend time in the company of a group of young people from all over the world—Mexico, South America, Japan, Eastern Europe and Iran. She is still in touch with a couple of them.
She remembers when her classmates held a birthday party for her. How it warmed her heart! Being far from home, of course, she had not expected to experience a regular birthday and was prepared to face the day without the usual small party, but her classmates surprised her. They brought gifts and a cake to class and they treated her to lunch at a restaurant after class. She keeps the pictures of that day and often looks at them fondly.
Going to Canada had not been her very first trip to another country, however. As a teenager, she joined her family on a holiday in Shanghai for one week. She still remembers the excitement after touching down and then leaving the airport to go explore Shanghai. Everything looked, sounded and smelled different. She was mesmerized by all the curious looking people around her and all the sights of that gigantic and crowded city.
What is referred to as Chinese food in Korea was nothing to be compared with all the wonderful dishes they tasted in Shanghai. Though somewhat oily and sometimes bland, much of it was delicious, she recalls.
Joohee had been fascinated to hear her parents, raised in an era when Chinese was a mandatory subject instead of English, struggle to speak the exotic tongue. “How marvelous it was to meet people of other nations and converse with them!” she reflected at the time.
These days those memories of traveling are as clear as if they had happened yesterday. Joohee longs to set forth on her own and experience new adventures abroad. Her senses are hungry for new things. She wants to make a life’s occupation of it. A career as a diplomat could open up such doors while giving her the satisfaction of following her interest in politics and engaging in worthwhile employment.
When she returned from China, she redoubled her efforts to study English well and master its use. That is also when her habit of monitoring political news began.
Her preoccupations with English and the news took attention away from friends. Her friends complained, most notably her boyfriend. She tried to explain and anticipated that everyone would understand because they were of an age when young people start to discover their interests and devise career plans.
Yet her boyfriend said he did not understand. He told her that he understood that she was not pretty enough to become a flight attendant or hotel manager, and could see why she had something different in mind, but politics seemed too masculine to him.
The two drifted apart once they graduated. Joohee has not heard from him since last year.
Joohee has dated a little since, even a foreigner in Canada, but she has concentrated on her studies and the steps she must take to carry through with the early stages of her career plan. Sometimes, it is lonely but she has her friends and family.
She is glad that her father approves of working women and encourages her and her mother to advance themselves. Her mother had fallen into social work after a stint with a nonprofit organization. Once the children had reached an appropriate age, she had told her husband that she needed something more to occupy her days besides household responsibilities. She being a bright woman who had earned good marks when he had known her in high school, he consented. Eyes shining with gratitude, she then told him about the opportunity to volunteer at a local organization three afternoons a week. “That sounds good,” he agreed. Joohee’s mother thence carried out her schedule faithfully and the administration gradually increased her responsibilities and finally hired her on a part-time basis. She completed the acceptable qualifications by studying part-time online. That course completed in addition to the smattering of university courses that she had taken some years earlier, she received a certificate in social work. Joohee has been glad to see her mother grow and gain self-confidence.
“Johee!” calls her mother from the kitchen. “What are your plans for tomorrow? We want to go on a hike. Do you want to join us?”
“That sounds great, mom, but I have to prepare a presentation for my English class on Monday.”
“Oh, too bad,” replies her mother as she steps into the living room. “What is your presentation about?”
“It’s about my career plans.”
“Well, that shouldn’t be difficult since you already know what you want to do.”
“Yes, I do.”
“Will you have to speak in English standing in front of the class to do it?”
“Yes, so I’ll need to be well prepared.”
“I see. By the way, supper will be ready in 30 minutes, so don’t get too involved in anything more until after our meal together. Your father is looking forward to everybody sitting down to eat together.”
“Yeah. Okay, mom.”
That night Joohee has yet another dream about working as the assistant to the Ambassador of Italy for the Republic of Korea. In this scene, she stands before a press conference leafing through her statement to the press. She hardly needs to glance at it during elocution, for she makes the speech in impeccable English, and then switches to Italian for an equally as eloquent address. The members of the press are so spellbound that a camera operator drops something and a reporter nearly slips out of her seat in amazement. She poses for photos with dignity and pride before announcing that she will take a few questions. The next day, front page headlines are full of praise. Joohee is called into the Ambassador’s office. The Ambassador congratulates her. Then he has his secretary hand her a document and informs her that she is to be transferred. She realizes that he has resented the attention that she has earned, perhaps feeling insulted by her boldness and impertinence.
Joohee wakes up. For every hope, there is some measure of fear.
In the morning when she begins to draft her speech for the Monday English class, she instructs herself of remember to be modest and demonstrate humility. She also is mindful of showing gratitude to her family, teachers and peers for their instruction, advice and support.
After her family returns from their Sunday morning hike and they have finished their simple meal of fish, rice and soup, Joohee consults her mother. Her mother is keen to show her the photos of the morning outing first. Joohee smiles and chuckles as the photos are displayed one by one.
“All right, honey. How is the speech going?” asks her mother eventually.
Joohee shows her draft and explains her approach. Her mother scans the page, pursing her lips and murmuring, “Mm.”
“What do you think, mom?”
“I think you doing the right thing. Let me point out that, if you want to be modest, that you also talk about the benefits of good diplomacy to others. In other words, perhaps you should talk less about your interests and anticipated benefits, and instead talk about how people could be helped, Koreans and foreigners.”
“Oh. I see.”
“Maybe you could mention some kind of global problem that diplomacy could help resolve, like conflicts.”
“Right. Good idea, mom.”
“Good work, so far, dear. Keep it up. I’m sure you’ll do well. You always do.”
Joohee smiles widely and hugs her mother. Privately, she hopes that the teacher will share this kind of perspective.
Nobody in her class has performed the presentation on career plans yet and Joohee knows she may likely be the first to present. It is hard to be the first. She will have to muster a lot of confidence. She needs to rely on the logic of her plan, and speak to the social and political needs of society, as her mother had implied.
Joohee composes and recomposes her presentation, then begins the arduous task of memorizing it until she can speak in a relaxed fashion. In English class, it is very important to maintain eye contact with the audience while giving an oral presentation. She must engage the audience, according to the teacher’s instructors. Students who merely read their speeches are likely to sound wooden, and they will be penalized for reading too much and demonstrating poor intonation. She reads her speech in front of the mirror, increasing the eye contact with her reflection each time she utters it. She rehearses at dinner before her family, little brother groaning with complaint the whole time despite her parents’ efforts to silence him.
After supper, Joohee practices some more in her room. She records the speech and listens to the playback critically, then tries again. That evening, she rehearses at the back of the bus on the way back to Busan.
Monday arrives and the time comes to go to class. The teacher asks if anyone is ready to present right away. Johee raises her hand.
Joohee is ready with a smile and a greeting as she takes her place at the podium and adjusts the microphone. With the strength of purpose and the energy of keenness in words that she really believes, she delivers the speech confidently but not too strongly and only has to glance at her cue card twice. She closes the speech with another smile and a quick “Thank you for listening.”
Before she is free to take her place at her desk again, however, the teacher asks the class if they have any questions. Joohee knows there will be individuals who doubt or even scorn her. She is aware that some classmates think she is looking up a tree that she can’t climb. “You? You think you will do a job like that? Hah!” she imagines some students thinking. She braces herself for the question and answer session.
“What qualifications will you need to be a diplomat?” asks one of the braver students. It is a well-rehearsed question of a phrase that is to be tested later.
Knowing this question would likely be asked, Joohee answers cleanly, “To be a diplomat, you should study international relations and foreign languages, get good grades of course. Then, you should get a junior position in the foreign service.”
Another prescribed question is posed: “Why do you think you will be suitable in that career?”
“I think I will be suitable in that career because I have an aptitude for political matters and I have a passion for politics. Also, I am interested in other cultures and life in other countries, while I am a patriotic Korean.”
The teacher compliments Joohee on her entire performance, both the presentation and her responses to the questions. She is relieved but still self-critical and alert. Joohee retakes her seat, head bowed and sits soberly awaiting the next presenter. After all, the rice bows its head as it ripens and the moon begins to wane as soon as it brightens.
Three more students complete the task of presenting and endure the question and answer period. They too rise above their nervousness and project confidence and commitment as best they can. One stumbles a little, however, and the other fails to give a proper greeting.
No matter how well one studies and no matter how well one knows the material, the chips will fall where they may. There is thus no telling how a student may rank by the end of the course, Joohee thinks. She feels the butterflies in her stomach. Yet, her confidence in her plan and purpose, worked out steadily and executed step by step with diligence and with the aid of thoughtful parents and teachers, gives her a sense of security.
XI.Digging a well
They are prospecting diligently, turning over stone after stone, thrust by thrust, day after day. It is pioneers such as they who will succeed.
They are mining the materials around them as and wherever they find them, pocketing the riches they discover along the way. They are mining minds and imagination too, harvesting the most solid and brilliant ideas, and stockpiling inspiration. They are extracting the best resources of society and culture.
Min Young sits erect. Despite pleasant yet impassive expression on his face, he is tense. He lives on the edge between self-confidence and self-doubt. He does not like to let himself feel comfortable for fear of forgetting something or missing a step, so he constantly watches. He constantly questions himself and checks. This tension shows in his voice, unfortunately. For a student with such a high level of vocabulary and high grades, his spoken English sounds a bit wooden and jerky because of his self-consciousness. This problem with his oral performance in English conversation class is difficult to correct for, if he relaxes too much, he might say exactly what he thinks, and make grammatical or pronunciation errors as well. Worrying over this conundrum produces an acidic stomach. Also, he sometimes finds it difficult to get to sleep.
Min Young’s teacher understands this predicament. She thinks he ought to let himself enjoy learning more, though. She appreciates his diligence but is concerned it may backfire and produce some negative results. He needs to trust himself enough and have faith in his knowledge and competence so that the words flow.
However, that is a predicament of youth, is it not?—the problems of words getting jammed up in the rush of anxiety, uncertainty, ignorance and fear all produced by the very enthusiasm and spontaneity that youthfulness engenders, especially when fueled by all the knowledge, not to mention tradition, that the bountiful education years feed young mouths. So much to say with so much emotion that sometimes it all gets stuck and produces either silence or grunts and stammering, it seems.
“Practice makes perfect!” counsels the teacher. It is really all she can say. She can just encourage and urge them to practice. She tries to make the atmosphere friendly, warm and comfortable as much as instructive and structured.
She explains. “It’s all right to make mistakes. That’s what the classroom is for; it’s a time to learn and practice what you learn. Besides, everyone makes mistakes speaking. That is a human condition.”
While it is still quite awkward performing an activity in front of the teacher and students, Min Young gradually feels more at ease speaking English. He therefore becomes more adventurous in his utterances. When not at the podium and in the limelight, his curiosity drives him to ask questions somehow and in spite of himself. There are also moments when his compulsion to communicate a thought gets the best of him and escapes his lips, regardless of his feelings of inhibition.
Every day, Min Young makes his way to campus and arrives to classes early, having completed all the necessary preparation required by the course, with some additional review of the material. Min Young has so much self-discipline that he measures out the time he should spend on extra study of English and other subjects, which includes extra reading and listening according to carefully scheduled periods day and night. He ploughs and ploughs. While his own self-discipline tends to hold him back, intended as it is to bar excessive and unwise behavior, he is unaware that his very work is progressing to the extent that he is getting closer and closer to self-liberation.
Min Young does not know which career he will follow. He has not decided. This gives him even more anxiety.
Have faith, Min Young. You will find your way, and the path will lead you where you are to go.
Younik is rather unique, and she is as sweet has her chosen nickname, Candy, suggests. She never lets the fanaticism with fads, commerce and pop culture distract her. She is never swayed by the swirl of extreme emotions around her, such as the unchecked feelings such as ill-temper, jealousy or glee that many of her excited peers display in full view around her. She has been brought up to follow duty, loyalty and custom.
Younik does not question the instructions issued by her superiors. Rather, she does her best to understand them and follow the course. She is not afraid to ask questions, however, if she needs to. Neither is she too proud to make adjustments and corrections if necessary.
While she is quiet and hard working, she is quite sociable and looks for suitable friendship and company where she can find them. She is courteous, genuinely interested in others and helpful. In fact, she is a volunteer in a library and has held a regular shift there for over a year.
Though Younik may sometimes feel tired from the grinding routine, and sometimes discouraged by small failures and unreliable people, she is content. She has the support of loving parents, loyal friends and kind teachers, and she is grateful.
Therefore, she keeps on moving forward with a smile, one step at a time up the hill of career-building toward personal and financial success. She sows and reaps, sows and reaps as she goes. It will amount to something worthwhile, she tells herself.
Younik knows what she wants. She plans on becoming a teacher. She wants to lead others on their way.
Her friends, teachers and parents have confidence in her and are cheering her on up the hill. “You can do it!” they say.
Hye-weon is ambitious. She has good grades but wants them to be even better. She is searching for gold.
Hye-weon is accomplished at English; she even won a campus speech contest. Her results in English conversation classes reinforce this achievement.
For Hye-weon, however, English is just one set of skills among many that she wants to acquire. In the next five years, she wants to become an accountant. She and her parents agree on this point. Accountancy is a secure field, with many prospects. Somebody will have money and will need it to be counted, they reason.
Getting qualifications and experience in accountancy, however, is only part of the journey that Hye-Weon dreams of for herself. She aspires to be a successful businesswoman eventually.
Looking at Hye-Weon, you might think of an arrow. Her face shows that she is determined and shrewd. She sits straight as an arrow, eyes fixed on the target before her. Her face is slightly bowed as she concentrates on her purpose. She accepts the work, the discipline and the inevitable small defeats unwaveringly and even with grace. She is grateful for the opportunity to hold her dream and work hard toward it. When you speak to her, she smiles pleasantly. Yet, when she sees an advantage, she speaks directly and plainly to it.
“I think their might have been a mistake,” she might say to a professor. “I understood the question this way.” (She explains.) “I think I should get another point.” She listens patiently to the teacher’s objection and explanation.
“Yes, I see that now, but this is the way I understood the task. Please give me a higher score. I think I should get one more point.” The answer still is no, and Hye-Weon retreats to her desk a little annoyed.
Later, she calms down and then writes her instructor a short note to apologize for harassing her and to indicate that she accepts the decision. To be fair, the teacher did compensate and give her some credit when she could have given her zero for that entire set of responses on the exam. Hye-Weon acknowledges this fact in her note. She realizes that she should be grateful and accept this tiny defeat.
The result on the exam is generally good, after all. She had been annoyed at herself really, because she is in the pursuit of excellence in life. She therefore reaffirms her pledge to demand more from herself so that she can win her struggle.
For Sonny, military service has been the best education yet. His friends and teachers have noticed how much he has matured since he left the military.
Now he resumes his university studies with more discipline and a higher sense of purpose, although he retains his characteristic skepticism. Military service caused him to reflect. He remains upbeat though privately critical. He is considerate with others and listens well while maintaining his own point of view unhindered. He challenges the view of others with tact and astute humour, behavior that usually wins him over to many, even his