15
HUMAN KINDNESS, LOVE AND TENDER LOVING CARE FOR OUR PEOPLE
Life is very difficult. How can we be anything but kind - Buddha
By reading Mark Twain I came to know that kindness was the real language which the deaf could hear and the blind could see and I tried my best to learn that important language. Of course, I realized that with kindness comes a warm smile which is the universal language of kindness.
I then read the views of Paramahansa Yogananda who said that kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families and nations. I also began to observe and experience that too often I too tended to underestimate the power of a loving human touch, a genuine smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the simple and smallest act of tender loving care and that all of these ultimately would have the power and potential to turn our life around. The older and more matured I got, the more I began to realize that being kind and caring was not only the best human quality but that it was the most important conduct of all people. Then my long and determined journey of human kindness began.
I often asked people to define human kindness to me and I received a variety of definitions from different people from different walks of life. My reason for asking was that I had begun to firmly believe that to be kind is an excellent human quality for everyone and it is very easy to spread because the more we spread it the greater joy we receive and get rid of all types of hate.
After I received valuable responses from my friends and colleagues, I then looked at kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate and although a lot of other words are attached to it no one would be able to provide a complete meaning of the word. However, words such as affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, tender loving care are some that I think are deeply associated with human kindness. I have never regarded kindness as having any negative connotation that sometimes is regarded as someone who is naïve and weak because for me being kind definitely requires courage, strength and love for all living things. For many of us kindness can be an interpersonal skill and a great human talent.
Many of us are familiar with the ideas in Charles Darwin’s Survival Of The Fittest but for me the basic human instinct to survive is not associated with selfishness and look for ourselves only. Darwin who studied human evolution in depth did not see mankind as being only biologically competitive and self-interested because he believed that we are a profoundly social and caring species and he argued that sympathy and caring for others is instinctual for human beings. Therefore, it is a basic expectation of everyone that all human beings should be kind and caring by nature.
In our daily living we detect that kindness remains the most important predictor of satisfaction, stability and harmony in our family life and general living. I have experienced that there are various practical and different ways to practice kindness. One of the best ways to be kind is to open our minds, hearts, eyes and ears to be proactive when we notice people in need and we could give them a helping hand. Thus by showing such human feelings, gratitude and conduct we automatically create a deep sense of community and mutual understanding among our people.
When we are able to notice and feel that other living things are suffering, our human conduct enables us to say some kind words, give a smile, open our heart to help and perform many other acts of kindness. Not only those but when we celebrate special occasions for someone we care and love to give them honest compliments, best wishes, messages of goodwill and blessing and even just sincerely thanking them then naturally we are expressing kindness and showing them that they are special to us. When we open our door to the vulnerable and poor, elderly and needy and do some required work for them we are expressing the idea of human kindness.
I realized the real value of kindness by witnessing various events of unkindness around me and at times unknowingly being unkind myself. This realization made me notice the effects of being kind to others and digging deeper in my conscience to begin practicing and preaching about this effective human attitude and conduct. Then three things became important for me to value my human life: the first was to be kind; the second was to be kinder and the third was to be the kindest. I found out that any acts of love, care and kindness inspire and develop greater kindness,
Kindness has been my innate willingness to full-heatedly celebrate the successes of all people as well as my responses to all others who are in difficulty. Thus for me kindness has been my open and willing joy and happiness for others. Kindness has also assisted me to tell the truth (good, bad or ugly) to people in a gentle way because by doing so has been helpful to the other person as well as to me. Receiving accurate feedback in a loving and caring way has been an important part of a trusted relationship for me. I believe that the courage to give and receive truthful feedback is a key component of human growth and flexible thinking. I now feel that kindness certainly makes all of us the most beautiful person in the world no matter what or how we look like.
Kindness includes being kind to yourself and treat yourself kindly to speak gently and kindly to yourself and take good care of yourself and then this vital human quality will easily and gradually flow to others. As I have said in the beginning there are many ways to be kind and many opportunities to practice this effective and essential human quality. Perhaps kindness is a value that could add more satisfaction to and strengthen our relationships with all living things.
We have to think of doing the act of kindness as soon as the occasion arises for it is hard to know how soon it will be too late and the action will no longer be needed. I believe that it is wise and proper for all human beings to show kindness to all whenever and wherever possible. Of course, this human conduct is always possible for everyone without any excuse because an important part of kindness consists of loving and caring people in need more than what they deserve. I do not think that compassion is about finding solutions because it is about giving all the required and needed care, love and attention that we have got to give to the deserving people. These are some of my reasons why we should carry out a random act of kindness with no expectation of any reward because who knows that some day we ourselves might need the same.
I have never believed that there is any such thing as a small act of kindness because every act of kindness to whoever, whenever and wherever performed creates a continuous ripple with no logical end. It should always be number one attribute of all human beings. So if we spread love everywhere we go then no one would ever leave your company without joy and happiness. This is the reason why human love and kindness for whoever, whenever and wherever conducted and displayed are never wasted because they always make a great difference for both the giver and the recipient and bless the one who receives these and also bless the individual who performs this human act of generosity.
My religion is humanity and what I have in common with all human beings is an appreciation of kindness and compassion and I have always leaned towards these human conducts whenever the need arose. My ancestors taught me to use my lips and tongue to always speak words of kindness and I was told that this was the reason why my grandmother slipped a few drops of honey in my mouth at birth. My grandfather was even more precise with his advice when at age twelve he said that we should use our lovely eyes to seek out the best attributes in people. My parents indoctrinated me by saying that food is good for our health and living but we must be able to spare and share some with the poor, needy and the hungry. Then my guru at school added that we will live a happy and healthy life ourselves to walk with pride and great honour with everyone around us and never feel alone.
As a consequence of my good upbringing and worthy early education, the acts and practice of human kindness have never weakened the stamina or softened my willingness to give whatever kindness I could in my life to the people who came into contact with me. Very early in life I learned that that is what compassion does; it challenges our assumptions, our sense of self-limitation and strengthens our determination to serve the community to be worthy of living and let others live a better life in the world.
We will gradually destroy a lot of our feelings of loneliness, isolation and estrangement and try to co-exist in the community peacefully in harmony. These in turn would develop our constrictive state of mind because as we develop compassion, our hearts and minds open to serve our people. As a result of our biological, social and cultural construction, kindness will gradually become a reality and we would become kinder by being kind to everyone. We would repent and regret on all of our unkind deeds but in the end we will become a better human being.
It has been repeatedly said that although it does not take a lot of effort and thought to practice kindness and yet the effect it would have on our family, friends and others would be far reaching and handsomely rewarding indeed. Various writers and sociologist have written ways to brighten our days as well as the life of others by being kind and I can recall a few of those from my reading and my recollections.
The prime way to begin the practice of kindness is to praise, show respect and love our parents, grandparents and siblings because this gesture which is simple to perform will ultimately reveal the most meaning in our life. If we live away from them then we should call them or visit them regularly because these are the people who matter most in our life and deserve our care and love.
Then we must learn to put the earth and home first. By being kind to these we would definitely help to reduce the evil effects of global warming. Make our home the best temple to practice peace, prosperity and progress.
If we learn to practice random kindness it is certain that we would develop effectively as worthy human being and all our kind gestures would be able to reach many of the wounds of our people to heal them through the expression of greater compassion.
In all my work and family life I have advised many of my students and followers to go and show kindness and love to everyone around you exactly as they are and then see and experience for yourself how humanity makes you feel. There is definitely no wisdom that is greater than the expression of human love, tender loving care for our loved ones and the conduct of human kindness. Thus I now believe that kindness is contagious indeed and it is the duty and responsibility of every person to promote and pass it on.
