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I often ask people to define human kindness to me and I have received a variety of definitions from different people from different walks of life. My reason for the ask was that I firmly believed that to be kind is an excellent human quality for everyone and it is very easy to spread because the more we spread it the greater joy we get and get rid of all types of hate.
After I received valuable responses from my friends and colleagues I then looked at kindness as the quality of being friendly, generous and considerate and although a lot of other words are attached to it no one would be able to provide a complete meaning of the word. However, words such as affection, gentleness, warmth, concern, tender loving care are some that I think are deeply associated with human kindness. I have never regarded kindness as having any negative connotation that sometimes is regarded as someone who is naïve and weak because for me being kind definitely requires courage, strength and love for all living things. For many of us kindness can be an interpersonal skill and a great human talent.
Many of us are familiar with the ideas in Charles Darwin’s Survival Of The Fittest but for me the basic human instinct to survive is not associated with selfishness and look for ourselves only. Darwin who studied human evolution in depth did not see mankind as being only biologically competitive and self- interested because he believed that we are a profoundly social and caring species and he argued that sympathy and caring for others is instinctual for human beings. Therefore it is a basic expectation of everyone that all human beings should be kind and caring by nature.
In our daily living we detect that kindness remains the most important predictor of satisfaction, stability and harmony in our family life. I have experienced that there are various practical and different ways to practice kindness. One of the best ways to be kind is to open our minds, hearts, eyes and ears to be proactive when we notice people in need and we could give them a helping hand. Thus by showing such human conduct we automatically create a deep sense of community and mutual understanding.
When we are able to notice and feel that other living things are suffering our human conduct enables us to say some kind words, give a smile, open our heart to help and perform many other acts of kindness. Not only those but when we celebrate special occasions for someone we care and love, give them honest compliments, best wishes, messages of goodwill and blessing and even just sincerely thanking them then naturally we are expressing kindness and showing them that they are special to us. When we open our door to the poor, elderly and needy and do some required work for them we are expressing the idea of kindness.
Kindness has been my innate willingness to full-heartedly celebrate the successes of all people as well as my responses to all others who are in difficulty. Thus for me kindness has been my open and willing joy and happiness for others. Kindness has also assisted me to tell the truth (good, bad or ugly) to people in a gentle way because by doing so has been helpful to the other person as well as me. Receiving accurate feedback in a loving and caring way has been an important part of a trusted relationship for me. I believe that the courage to give and receive truthful feedback is a key component of human growth and flexible thinking.
Kindness includes being kind to yourself and treat yourself kindly to speak gently and kindly to yourself and take good care of yourself and then this vital human quality will be easily flow to others. As I have said in the beginning there are many ways to be kind and many opportunities to practice this effective and essential human quality. Perhaps kindness is a value that could add more satisfaction to and strengthen our relationships with all living things.
We have to think of doing the act of kindness as soon as the occasion arises for it is hard to know how soon it will be too late and the action will no longer be needed so it is wise to be kind whenever and wherever possible. Of course this human conduct is always possible for everyone without any excuse because an important part of kindness consists of loving and caring people in need more than what they deserve. I do not think that compassion is about solutions because it is about giving all the care, love and attention that we have got to give to the deserving people. These are some of my reasons why we should carry out a random act of kindness with no expectation of any reward because who knows that some day we ourselves might need the same.
I have never believed that there is any such thing as a small act of kindness because every act of kindness whenever and wherever performed creates a continuous ripple with no logical end. It should always be number one attribute of all human beings. So if we spread love everywhere we go then no one would ever leave your company without joy and happiness. This is the reason why human love and kindness whenever and wherever conducted and displayed are never wasted because they always make a great difference for both the giver and the recipient and bless the one who receives these and also bless the individual who performs this human act of generosity.
My religion is humanity and what I have in common with all human beings is an appreciation of kindness and compassion and I have always leaned towards these human conducts whenever the need arose. My ancestors taught me to use my lips and tongue to always speak words of kindness and I was told that this was the reason why my grandmother slipped a few drops of honey in my mouth at birth. My grandfather was even more precise with his advice when at age twelve he said that we should use our lovely eyes to seek out the good in people. My parents indoctrinated me by saying that food is good for our health and living but we must be able to spare and share some with the hungry. Then my guru at school added that we will live a happy and healthy life ourselves to walk with pride and honour with everyone around us and never feel alone.
As a consequence of my good upbringing and worthy early education, the act and practice of human kindness have never weakened the stamina or softened my willingness to give whatever kindness I could in my life to the people who came into contact with me.
Very early in life I learnt that that is what compassion does; it challenges our assumptions, our sense of self-limitation and strengthens our determination to serve the community to be worthy of living a better life in the world. We will destroy all our feelings of loneliness, isolation and estrangement and live peacefully in harmony. These in turn develop our constrictive state of mind because as we develop compassion, our hearts and minds open to serve our people. As a result of our construction kindness will become a reality and we are made kinder by being kind.
I believe that a kind gesture can reach all the wounds that only compassion can heal. So it is good to go and love and like someone and something exactly as they are and then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, truest version of themselves. This is the reason I maintain that there is no other wisdom we can find that is greater than human kindness.
