How much do you like yourself at the moment? Find a quiet place and ask yourself this question and see what answers you immediately come up with. Now, building on that question how much do you love yourself? Daft as it may sound, these two questions will provide you with relevant answers as to the measure of self esteem you are experiencing in your life at present.
Some of us are not clear what love is, and we all have our own definition of the meaning of love. Many of us find it easy to love others, but, due to unresolved inner conflicts, we struggle to love ourselves. There has been much debate over the true meaning of loving oneself. Some of us who struggle with the idea of putting ourselves first, take on the role of martyr, doing everything we can to please others, but ending up feeling burnt out and frustrated. In contrast, some of us find it very difficult to empathize with anyone else, and due to our own fears and insecurities we go out of our way to only please ourselves.
The best way toward great self esteem is to treat yourself as your own best friend. This does not mean that you lack in the capacity of offering love, humility, and compassion to others. No, it means that you learn to love yourself so much, that this abundance of love pours out to friends, family, colleagues, and strangers.
In order to love yourself more from this very moment you need to understand a basic truth: YOU ARE AN AMAZING CREATION WITH GREAT POWER AND ABILITY. YOU HAVE GREAT RICHES OF TALLENT WITHIN YOU AND YOU CAN FIND THIS AND GIVE IT FREELY TO THE WORLD
I'm not just making this up, this stuff is real whether you like it or not. I'm sure many of you reading this will know straight away about the great talents you have been blessed with. So, given that you are amazing (And you are. . . You really are), start today to give yourself the love and appreciation you deserve. Become your own best friend. A true best friend will defend you when you are unfairly criticized by others, they will forgive you when you make mistakes, they will celebrate your successes, and ease your burden when you cry. This is what you need to do for yourself. Forgive yourself, again, and, again, and again, if you are critical of yourself or feeling guilty be aware of this. Try and immediately create a thought which is not self blaming. If you have let yourself down in someway, forgive yourself and draw a line under it. Guilt provides us with a lesson from which we can learn to adjust. Think about times you have forgiven others, the power that this forgiveness had on that other person and yourself. Think of yourself from this moment forward as your own best friend. Encourage your friend to try new things, defend your friend from the undue criticisms of others. Use your subconscious mind (see Tip 1) to start using positive dialog with yourself. Heres an exercise you can use to start liking yourself more:
Ï Fix an appointment with yourself which cannot be broken, your best friend(yourself) is counting on you to attend . Write the appointment down and stick to it under all costs
Ï Plan what the appointment is going to be, something which will be good for you, which you can enjoy soberly and do alone. Pamper yourself, take a swim, or visit the cinema, walk in some nice landscape, anything which feels healthy and good to you!
Ï Learn to enjoy your own company, talk to yourself (in your head, you might feel silly doing it out loud) and use appreciative dialog
Ï Relax Relax Relax, enjoy every moment of this appointment with yourself and be aware of your inner voice, a voice which likes and loves you.
Ï Feel the benefits of having piece of mind, be aware of how you can benefit others through your grounded reliance in yourself
A great way to self esteem is buy becoming your own best friend. Learn the art of discipline, by working at knowing yourself better and better.