Through The Letterbox by Devices Writers’ Group - HTML preview

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Martin Coleman

17

Friends Reunited?

by Rosalind Ambler and Ann Stevens

Almadabad, Dec 1st

Almadabad, Dec 6th

Dear Paula,

Dear Paula

As you may have heard via the St. Margaret's jungle drums, I Gosh - the twins at university already! I had forgotten how have been based in Almadabad for some time with a charity young you were when you had them, though I do remember

called 'Where There's a Well They're Away.' We help villagers they were something of a mistake. I do hope you and Gavin build wells to enable them to grow their own food and address have stayed the course after such a tricky start.

basic sanitation.

I am not really moved by the plight of the pangolin (and I must As Christmas is coming up we are all contacting generous say you were quite pretty really once the acne subsided). Any-people like you in the hope that you will able to donate to our way - I shall give my village £10 to buy buckets and you must cause. £10 will buy three buckets - £50 would sink a metre of do what you think best.

well-shaft.

I don't think we have tribes as such, and if we did they I know you thought me a frightful slag who got what she wouldn't want to be patronised by Adam in the name of

deserved, but I think I have served my time. I can never forget, science. They have had quite enough of colonial rule. I suggest as my stump still gets very sore, especially in these hot climes. he tries Papua New Guinea, but suspect most of them have Hope you and your little ones are well. Thanking you in hope, been studied, dressed and converted by now.

Patsy Prideaux

Did you hear about Molly's horrible accident? I must confess to a certain schadenfreude. (It was she who introduced me to Farnham, Dec 2nd Maxwell. You know the rest.) Well, Patsy, I never expected to hear from you again!

Yours Patsy.

What an eventful life you seem to lead, so different from Farnham, Dec 9th

us in Farnham.

How time flies. My 'little ones' are now both at university. Dear Patsy Melanie is reading theology, and Adam anthropology.

Indeed Gavin and I are stil very happily together and we I hope this does not sound uncharitable, but I cannot fully have never considered the twins a mistake. We certainly understand why Indians can't dig their own wells - I have never needed the sort of things you have had to gather their economy is booming, and Bangalore is now resort to in order to maintain a relationship – and when Silicon Valley. Personal y, I feel more strongly about you consider it, they did not really work for you, did they?

animals who have dreadful things inflicted upon them by humankind, and am a very keen supporter of SAP - Save the Pangolin. You may recall my father served in Malaya, I know what they say in the papers is seldom entirely and pangolins are scaly and not very pretty, so few true, but Maxwell’s wife’s Christian forgiveness does people care about them. I identify with them, somehow.

seem to have won the day over cocaine and pole

So we could support each other's charities perhaps?

dancing.

Yours Paula

I wil certainly manage to cough up £20 for Save the

Pangolin, although to qualify for Gift Aid it wil have to PS - Adam needs to do a field study overseas next year -

I don't suppose you could suggest a nice Indian tribe he come from me, rather than be donated in your name.

could look at?

Molly was always very spiteful about my psoriasis (I have never had acne) and while I would not wish being

scalped by a boom on anyone am sure she can buy

plenty of wigs if she needs to.

18

Adam’s field study is to be on the caste system, so I Almadabad, Dec 26th

think it has to be India, but not to worry if you don’t know any Indians, as a fellow student has fixed up for him to Don't bother - I've managed so far without God's help. It's stay with the Maharajah of Palanpur, so he will be

called making the best of things. Like the Indians, who seem observing from the top of the ladder, as it were.

to have such happiness and energy against all the odds. (I have never heard of Kevin McCloud so can't comment.)

Hope the well digging is going, er, well!

I know what I know about what goes on with Fiona and

Maurice but don't wish to labour the point. You obviously Paula

assume (wrongly) that everyone is as boring as you (and your daughter sounds a perfect clone).

Almadabad, Dec 14th

I don't see much purpose in continuing this correspondence. I Please Paula - it wasn't pole dancing, I simply slipped on am glad you are happy with your life, which sounds stultifying Maxwell's back stairs.

in its sanctity. But then we always were, and will remain, poles apart.

Malicious Molly again - I well remember her laughing over your spots - I don't think we had heard of psoriasis then - let Go save some Pangolins!

alone know how to spell it.

P

Actually, some of my best friends are Indians. Adam's certainly fallen with his bum in the butter, but I doubt he'll see much Farnham, Jan 18th

of relevance from such a lofty perch. Better to get to Mumbai and see the seething life on the rubbish dumps.

Apologies for being tardy in replying, but I have been on retreat with Melanie as part of her preparation for the I do take exception to your scathing comments on my life - I Mission. It was truly uplifting, and never before have I felt was having fantastic sex with a powerful man, but I paid a more like turning the other cheek. Indeed, I now know it heavy price. If you want something really juicy to gloat over, I is my duty to travel to Almadabad to help you, both with hear that Fiona Nash has left that nerdy Roundhead of a the wells and your soul. So, I can be boring in the other husband and gone to live with Dot in some sort of ménage à sense! There, and you said I had no sense of humour.

trois in Lechlade. A far cry from your smug little life in

Farnham.

Honesty being so important to me, I did mention to Fiona what you had said about her and Maurice, and under-Patsy.

stand you may be hearing from lawyers. Sorree!

Farnham, Dec 20th I arrive on the 27th.

So I presume the Christian wife was coming up the front All love and prayers stairs at the time?

Paula

I am sure Adam wil cover all aspects of the caste

Almadabad, Jan 19th

system, as after Palanpur he is going to Mumbai to in-vestigate Bollywood and will undoubtedly meet all sorts, Quelle surprise! Almost as good as when your waters broke in although from looking at Kevin McCloud’s programmes Eng. Lit. A-level. I can still see Mamselle wielding that mop!

‘rubbish dumps’ seems a rather dismissive approach to But I have decided to leave the Indians - who as you rightly a highly structured slum society. I wonder how in touch say can really help themselves - to work with 'Ox-Aid' for the you are with urban India in your backwater. Or is that the starving refugees in Somalia. I do hope you will give gener-wrong word to use for somewhere that needs wel s?

ously to the cause.

Coincidental y, Melanie is also planning a trip to the sub- I'll leave you my bedding and my rice bowl. Beware the Delhi continent, as she is drawn towards missionary work and belly - facilities are a bit basic!

is planning to volunteer to help in a children’s home in the vacation.

Bye-eee! Patsy

You really must stop spreading unfounded malicious

gossip. Fiona is staying with Dot while she has a hyster-