-Track Eight-
“What should we do?” asked Elvin, rubbing his forehead.
“I’ve no idea,” said Wayne, with a tremble in his voice.
The drunken English gobshite, still being obnoxious to the bar girls, came over to them again.
“Told you,” he said, “now they’ll cart them off to the monkey house and they will do a long time in the nick because they don’t like drugs here.”
Wayne glared at the man and said. “Fuck off, buddy.”
The man looked stunned and walked away.
Wayne and Elvin left the bar and wandered back onto Fields Avenue, trying to come up with a plan to help Steve and Oggie. Neither of them had a phone, so they could not contact Gus or anyone at the British embassy. They needed Jenny's advice so made their way to the Black Orchid.
Charles walked down the stairs from the short-time room with a look of contentment etched upon his wrinkled old face, which changed to surprise when Wayne and Elvin rushed into the Black Orchid looking agitated.
Elvin and Wayne saw Charles coming down the stairs with the woman, rushed over and told him that they had seen Steve and Oggie taken away in a police car, and they all went over to Jenny who spoke with another customer. They told her they had a problem and asked for her help.
Jenny saw they looked worried, so left her customer and took them over to a table and ordered brandies. She gave them cold towels as the old men dripped with sweat. Wayne told her how they had seen Steve and Oggie taken away in a police car.
“How long ago?” asked Jenny sounding concerned.
“About fifteen minutes ago,” said Elvin. “We came here as fast as we could.” He rubbed the cold towel across his face.
“So what happened?” asked Charles.
Jenny and Charles listened to Wayne’s account of events.
When Wayne described the bar and its location, Jenny asked. “Do you know the name of the bar?”
Wayne shook his head.
“The Bluebottle,” said Elvin. “I remember because that’s what we call coppers in London.”
Jenny smiled.
The worried old men stared at her like prophets awaiting the word of God. She smiled. “Don’t worry, I know the Bluebottle Bar. I will find out what happened in the morning.”
She chuckled and called over to Wayne and Elvin’s Black Orchid sweethearts and Rosie. She spoke to them in Filipino, and the girls went to sit with their beaus.
“Will you try to call Steve?” asked Elvin, sounding anxious and they all looked scared.
Jenny smiled and dialled Steve’s number.
“His phone's off.” said Jenny, “but don’t worry, everything will be fine. Go back to The Swagman and let the girls take care of you,” she smiled.
They finished their brandy and took the girls to the Swagman. They stayed in the restaurant section, knowing that none of them would sleep, unconvinced of Jenny’s ability to resolve their quandary, especially with drugs being involved. Having read stories of drug trafficking and punishment in the Philippines, they knew the seriousness of this crime.
The girls chatted before falling asleep in the restaurant. Early morning, as the restaurant filled with customers. Elvin, Wayne, Charles, and the girls ate and went to sit by the pool. Jenny had given her girl’s instructions that she would call them when she'd found out anything, so the worried little old sausages sat awaiting news.
Mornings were Cosmo’s favourite part of the day. He loved the peace and quiet of the empty pub, even though it smelt of stale ale. He had done the same routine for years. Get up, make a cup of tea and eggy soldiers, read the online newspapers, and then restock the bar.
Cosmo enjoyed the silence, knowing that once the morning trade came in, they would blast out the same tunes on the jukebox all day and night unless he had live music and the band’s music blasted through the lounge.
The toaster spat out his toast as he thought about his old rockers in the Philippines, and Kipper, who he’d put off calling until the old men came back so they could call him together. ‘I bet the little sod’s living it up in the big city.’ he thought and chuckled.
The Wellow was back to normal after the incredible few weeks. Cosmo still had trouble believing what happened. Now, apart from a few people coming in for live music, the bar was quiet. Cosmo buttered his toast and thought, ‘they should be back soon so my takings will shoot up again. He chuckled, took his breakfast over to his computer, and turned it on. Cosmo cut his buttered toast into rectangles and knocked the top off his egg. He pressed Daily Nation on his bookmark, took a drink of tea, and dunked his toast soldier into his runny egg as the headlines came on screen.
___________________________________________
Great Britain is in the throes of a musical evolution. A new and exciting band has emerged with a unique brand of music that captures the hearts and imaginations of the nation.
Although the pop sensations only burst onto the music scene several weeks ago, their music has swept through the airwaves with a fresh sound, appealing to old and young listeners alike.
Dubbed the new Beatles; FOSSILS is taking the music world by storm and putting British music back on the map with their unique sound.
However, a mystery remains!
Since winning the BBC’s, Search for Britain’s Next Super Group, nobody knows anything about the band. With the country gripped with FOSSILS fever, a spokesperson for their record company said. “With the number of pre-orders for downloads and compact discs of their debut album ‘Hope,’ we expect a record number of sales when it is launched.”
The band's manager, Kevin G Nutley, was unavailable for comment, and Billy Numan, BBC’s spokesperson for their promotions was vague. He told reporters that the band is somewhere in Southeast Asia performing for the underprivileged, and no photographs or information about the band is available.
So who, and where, are FOSSILS?
After the DAILY NATION NEWSPAPER received information that the band is somewhere in Angeles City, Philippines, they are offering a £50,000 reward for photographs and information leading to the whereabouts of this elusive, vibrant, young band.
_______________________________________________
“What the…” Cosmo gasped as he stared at the screen and read the headlines about Fossils. The egg ran off his toast and plopped into his tea as he read the article again.
Cosmo glared at a piece that alarmed him; the section about the newspaper offering a reward of £50,000 to anyone with recent photographs or any information about Fossils.
Cosmo rubbed his chin, fished the egg out of his tea, and took a slurp.
“I bet the old-timers don’t know about this,” he said and read again the piece about how Kevin Nutley, the band's manager, was unavailable for comment.
“Kipper, you idiot, what have you done?” he said aloud.
Cosmo picked up his phone and dialled Kipper's number. After several attempts and getting the repeated message: number not in service, Cosmo sat back and thought about his next course of action. He searched for a number and called Broadcasting House.
Late morning, Steve sauntered into the restaurant and went over to his old mates.
Elvin, Charles, and Wayne gawped as Steve sat down, ordered a cup of tea, looked at his phone, and told them. “I dropped my phone in the shithouse last night and it still hasn’t dried,” he said, shaking the defunct phone. “Bloody thing, I will give it another few hours and if it still doesn’t work, I'll buy a new one.”
Astounded by his nonchalant attitude, Elvin asked. “When did you get released and what happened?”
Steve furrowed his brow and looked confused. “Get released from where?” He asked.
“From Jail!” Charles exclaimed.
“Jail! What are you talking about?” I have been asleep in my room. I got wankered last night,” he said and grinned. “There is something I haven’t warned you about yet.” He belched and screwed up his face as the gaseous aftertaste of last night’s drink hovered around his mouth. “Lambanog,” he said, “coconut vodka, the local moonshine, well over 100% proof and not for the faint-hearted.”
One girl phoned Jenny and handed her phone to Steve. Jenny told him about her early morning visit by his three worried friends. They both laughed before Jenny hung up.
“Wot ‘appened? We fought they’d arrested you for cocaine possession,” said Elvin.
Steve frowned at them and said. “Arrested for cocaine possession... Are you crazy?”
“We saw you and Oggie taken away in a police car after a drugs bust,” said Elvin.
Steve laughed and explained about his and Oggie’s good friend, Police Captain Navarro, and his birthday party at his bar, ‘The Bluebottle.’
He looked at the stunned expressions on the faces of his friends and told them that it would have been considered rude not to have attended his old friend, the police Captains 50th birthday and partake of the *Tagay. He explained that both he and Oggie, along with many high ranking Filipino police officers, got so wankered on the high octane liver-destroying concoction and had to be ferried home in police cars.
The three breathed a sigh of relief as Steve wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.
However, they still had a concern and Wayne said. “Buddy, we have seen you go off and snort cocaine. We’ve seen Oggie bring you several small parcels and then you go to the toilet.”
Steve looked around the restaurant at the other customer's, which were mainly Scandinavian. Still laughing, he realised what his friends had assumed and wanted to wind them up for a while longer. Leaning forward with a sinister glint in his eye, he whispered. “I use something better than cocaine.”
The three gasped and looked shocked as Steve smirked and took his pillbox from his pocket. He opened it and showed the contents to his three intrigued friends.
They peered into the small box half-full of a brown powder. Curious, Charles took a small amount between his thumb and forefinger and looked baffled by the pepper coloured powder, as he thought cocaine was white. He gingerly sniffed the powder, winced, and looking bewildered, exclaimed. “It's snuff!”
Steve, now in uncontrollable fits of laughter, spoke loud enough so everyone close by heard him.
“Not just any old snuff,” he shouted. “*Kendle medicated, brand number six.”
Customers in the restaurant turned and looked at their table. Steve chuckled, and whispered, “Kendle is as rare as rocking horse shit.”
Several older customers approached them and Steve said. “Watch this!”
One man came to their table and asked in English, with a Scandinavian twang, “Do you have any Kendle for sale?”
A crowd swarmed around the table as Steve replied, “No, this is all I have.”
“I have been trying to get some for months, but I can’t find any,” said another Scandinavian, almost in tears.
“Can I buy some from you?” One old man pleaded.
Steve told the small crowd, “It’s all I have and I can’t get any more. So go away.”
The crowd groaned and dispersed. Wayne, Charles, and Elvin felt bewildered by the reaction that harmless snuff caused.
Steve explained about the Scandinavians and their love for snuff and told them how difficult it was to get it in the Philippines. It was like Boddington’s beer to a Lancastrian in the UK. Although it's not illegal, it was an item banned for import into the country.
“I didn’t know you took snuff,” said Charles. “I have never seen you with any.”
“I took it while I was here, but stopped in the UK because they only sell crap.”
He explained that Oggie got hold of some for him when he found out he was coming back as a welcome home gift, and when other amounts became available, Oggie snapped it up.
“As to why all the secrecy in handing it over,” said Steve, and pointed to the tables of dejected Scandinavians. “That’s why,” he smirked. “A mad Scandinavian invasion.”
The other three still felt dumbfounded, but after what they just witnessed, they considered it another ludicrous thing to contend with in this strange multicultural land. They felt relieved and tired.
Steve smiled and took a pinch of the powder treasure. He placed it into a small pile on the back of his clenched fist and snorted snuff into each nostril. The sharp tingle refreshed his nasal passages and a look of ecstasy came across his face. He grinned at the disgruntled Scandinavians and snapped the pillbox lid shut and put it into his pocket. His attention then turned to one of the three and pointed to the woman Charles had taken from the Black Orchid and said. “Jenny told me about your exploits last night. It was about time you went with the flow,” he smirked. “Come on Charlie boy, pucker up, my sphincter’s waiting.”
Charles looked embarrassed and the other three laughed, with Steve pointing to his little wrinkled, rotund, derriere, and told Charles to kiss the ring.
The three sent their girls away. Charles told them about Danni and they told him to forget her. They lazed at poolside and in the restaurant, dozing off for brief periods throughout the day. Twilight came and Steve looked at his watch and said. “I suppose we better get ready for tonight.”
“I’m knackered, we should have gone for a nap,” said Elvin.
Charles took out his phone and said, “I will call Lorraine. When should I tell her we are coming home?”
The other three looked at Charles.
“Go home! We have only been here just over a week, and even you said there was no rush to go back,” said Steve, puckering his brow.
“I need to tell her something, besides there’s no point staying now.”
Elvin sighed, “I suppose Charles is right. Maybe it was time we planned to go home.”
“Are you crazy? None of us will get the chance to come here again and I am not leaving yet,” said Steve.
He glared at Charles and Elvin.
His phone then rang, “Great,” he said, “the bloody thing’s working again.” He looked at the faded, unreadable, number on his screen, and answered.
“Hello,” said Steve. The caller said Hello, and with a big grin, Steve said. “Hang on Cosmo, I’ll put you on speaker, we are all here.”
The others smiled as Steve pressed the speaker button.
“Hi Cosmo,” shouted Elvin “Are you missing us at the We…?”
“Listen fellas,” interrupted Cosmo, sounding anxious. “You need to get the fuck out of the Philippines… Now!”