How to Marry a Psychopath by Fruitloopmum - HTML preview

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Update, update!

Morning fruitloopmum fans,

As promised, a quick update on my post 'Is chivalry dead?'

Well, we had a few votes in (including, I suspect, the BF, because there was just one vote that looked a bit suspicious. But he's staying very quiet!)

Anyway, you wonderful bunch of technophobes, I have to ask hands up who voted 'other' then failed to enlighten us as to what you thought 'other' might be? What the?? Now come on, cos I know that here were at least 4 of you!

'Scream' was a popular vote. Now, I have heard the BF scream, and its actually quite funny because his scream is better than mine. It can be heard at about 200 paces and elicits some really interesting looks from passers-by. But that wasn't the correct answer this time.

As for killing the leech well that fell to me. I hobbled to the kitchen leaving a trail of blood and returned with a handful of salt. My girlfriend - who had a leech....wait for it.... on the end of her nose... (after it attacked her from the rim of her wineglass) swears by it. So I doused the thing with salt and then removed it from the bed. Guess what? The BF then spent the rest of the night complaining of feeling salt in the bed - same as crumbs or sand a pet hate of his and probably most of us I reckon.

And as for that chivalrous gesture? Well, everyone knows that a knight just has to put on his underpants before donning his suit of armour - think of the chaffing!

So, well done 'Starfish' who left a comment and got it spot on first time, along with the other voters who chose to remain anonymous. Oh, and in writing this I've just realised the girlfriend with the leech attached to her nose is yet another hilarious post just begging to be written, but I'd better check with her first (she keeps threatening me with some dodgy pictures that she took of me with my dress tucked into my knickers, if I write anything more!)

As for whether chivalry is dead of course it's not. It's just that these days it comes in many different guises.

More mad musings from fruitloopmum soon xx