Lessons
It's been a while huh? Life's been sort of messy and gotten in the way over the last few weeks. So, no new posts. Sorry. Then, last night or rather in the early hours, a blinding flash of inspiration woke me. And here I am you lucky, lucky people about to share this little gem with you! The question is this: What the bloody hell do you do when something that started out as a bit of fun, a vehicle for rediscovering your voice and your personal potential slowly and almost imperceptibly over the course of six months, morph's into something serious with the potential to change your life in ways you never anticipated?
Would you be disappointed and feel a failure because you're suddenly aware that you have created a situation that you never planned or intended?
Maybe you'd turn and run. You know, just let go, cos let's face it, you're obviously not in control and not being in control can be very, very scary.
Or, you might battle-on, trying to re-mould the new reality into what you'd originally set out to achieve in the first place. You know, the stubborn ostrich approach.
Well Fruitloopmum fans. I think I have the answer. Having accidentally shared part of my life with the psychopath who ensured that I never had a voice, a valid opinion or thought, I had come to believe that I was insignificant, not valued and certainly not capable of creating my own happiness. WRONG! This new, uncharted place that I find myself in has taught me some valuable life lessons.
If you're all still awake, keep up! cos I want to share what I've learnt:
I am not a failure just because things haven't turned out exactly the way I had planned. I have had fun and laughter. I have shown myself that I do have a voice and that some people even find me funny. I have learnt that I can make people smile.
Sometimes life is scary and makes you want to run. It takes courage and tenacity to face the messy, scary parts and do something useful with them. I have learnt to turn them into lessons and stored them for future use.
I have learnt not to try to change reality cos that's just stupid and exhausting and never, ever works. I am not god for god's sake! Sometimes we don't always achieve what we set out to achieve. Sometimes things just take on a life of their own. Sometimes we do fail, and sometimes, just sometimes, we exceed all of our expectations.
So there it is. Writing this blog started out as something fun, a way for me to rediscover the real me and find my voice. Over the last few months it has morphed into more than just writing down my random thoughts. It has allowed me to simply be me for the first time in many years. It's taught me many valuable lessons and led me to new and interesting possibilities An awful lot like the rest of my messy life really.