A Ripper Day
Yesterday was Australia Day. A beaut of a national holiday, celebrated with vigour and pride, barbies, beach cricket, fireworks and a bevvie or two. Fruitloopmum donned a swimsuit with the Aussie flag across the chest and joined some fair-dinkum mates aboard their beautiful old timber yacht bedecked with flags for an Australia Day regatta.
Now remember fruitloopmum fans that Fruitloopmum is a POM! So, you may ask, what the f** am I doing? Is this treachery? Am I betraying my roots?
Nope. What I did yesterday was give thanks that I am privileged to be living in what I truly believe is 'God's Own Country' among people whose values include 'giving people a fair go' and living by the rules of 'mateship' This is country whose people are straight-up and when they ask how you are or say "have a great day" actually bloody well MEAN IT.
This is a country when my children ''run barefoot not because they are impoverished, but because they are free'' (quote from Nikki Gemmell in her beautifully written book Why You are Australian) This is a country that doesn't have stupid airs and graces, and is populated by people who, endearingly, tell it like it is even if it takes a while for a Pommie like me to catch onto the lingo. So, for all you non Aussies out there, I wanted to share a few priceless gems from the Australian language with you courtesy of the Macquarie Dictionary (with Fruitloopmum explanations) and some great Aussie similes:
Budgie Smugglers: the skimpy, lycra swim trunks that make guys willys look like a budgerigar with it's head cocked to one side!
Fart-Sack: a sleeping bag!
Ranga: short for orangutan. Used to describe someone with red hair (this word got a good media workout recently when our red-headed female prime minister was elected :)Hmmm, that's like the BBC describing David Cameron as an 'aspiring rug head'
Spunk: A good looking person - this one has caught me out a few times!
Bludger: someone who's lazy or who lives off others
Hoon: A boy racer. After the noise their car accelerator makes..hoooon
Hornbag: a sexy, attractive woman - BF got very upset when I kicked him for describing me as one, well, how was I to know it was meant as a compliment??
Thongs: Flip-flops - My dear brother had a laughing fit last week when I used the word in the phrase "the kids keep saying they're embarrassed when daddy goes out in thongs" He had visions of two traumatised kids accompanying a fat Borat in a man-kini down the street!
And here are some great phrases...
He was "As ugly as a hatful of arseholes" and she had "A face like a dropped pie"
And, one of the best, courtesy of an Aussie politician describing the facial expression and trembling lip of an outgoing prime minister as "looking like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades"
Well, Fruitloopmum fans, I know I sound very 'un-British' but honestly, how can you not love a country that's brave enough to air TV ads for tampons using the phrase "take care of your beaver"
So, to all my lovely Aussie friends who have clutched me to their big Aussie hearts and become like family....Happy Australian Day from the pommie who stuck the Aussie flag tattoo on upside down yesterday...Well I am a fruitloop after all.