Maddy departed Emus Edge and continued her journey down stream.
The previous day’s rain had cleared the air, and brought a cooler freshness to the morning, with the temperature dropping to a respectable thirty degrees. Captain manoeuvred her between dead rivergums that were scattered amidst the water. They were like gothic sculptures, twisted and bare, remnants of the rivers natural flow before the lock systems. They became the talking point with the passengers until they left the departed figures behind.
It was midafternoon when Maddy moved toward a deserted pier.
Captain pulled the whistle cord and gave three piercing blasts to signal their arrival.
Kristy went to the microphone on the dining room stage to address the passengers.
“Well folks we are about to moor at our third and last port of call, Mallee Meadows. In a moment the hotels Publican will arrive and drive us a short distance to the township. After an evening meal we will return to Maddy for the night before a big day tomorrow… Mallee Meadows is a small town situated at the edge of the vast Mallee Desert. Tomorrow, we will take a scenic drive through a large sandy basin before visiting a local pigsty. There you will have a close up glimpse of a freak of nature... a pig that’s grown bigger than any you have ever seen... later in the evening a feast of local produce will be served. That will be followed by May-lee performing some laidback music to finish the day off,”
On the bottom deck, Mitch who had just finished kitchen duties, strolled toward the gangplank practicing his whistling technic. The passengers had been so impressed with his skills at Emus Edge, he was eager to give them a quick demo before Norman arrived. Halfway along, he spotted Jessie and Tessie walking from the passageway beside the paddlewheel. He raced toward the gangplank to whistle their departure. Norman, who was walking behind the girls, spotted him. He rushed over, elbowed Mitch to the side, and hit the button. The gangplank extended out from under the decks floor and rested on the pier. When Mitch regained his balance, Norman ordered him to open the safety gate and place the gangplank rails into position. Mitch rolled his eyes but did what he was told. Norman, thrilled with his victory performed a sweeping bow for the girls. “Laaddiees,” he grinned then stood to attention, placed the boatswain pipe whistle into his mouth and blew. The girls gave him a playful curtsy and followed a pissed off Mitch onto the pier.
May-lee and Kristy stood on the riverbank; both dressed in sleeveless, multi coloured, tie dyed frocks. They were chatting about how much fun the trip had been, when May-lee realized Julio hadn’t come ashore. Not having seen him that day, and thinking that the costume race may have taken its toll she asked Kristy if he was ok.
“He’s a bit worse for wear and decided to stay onboard to rest up, but don’t worry Auntie, Norman will keep an eye on him for you,” she teased.
May-lee gave her a playful shove then glanced around the crowd in search of Jordie.
A bright red, open-top double decker bus appeared along a dusty track from out of a thicket of rivergums. It came to a halt, and a large man with a solid build, aged in his late fifties stepped out. He had short cropped sandy hair, a ruddy complexion and cheerful smile.
“Greeting folks, Clyde Skinner at your service,”
Captain rushed up to greet him. “How ya goin’ Clyde,”
“Great Captain,”
They shook hands then Clyde saw May-lee racing forward followed by Kristy. When they reached him, they gave him a combined hug.
“My favourite girls,” he laughed, “you look as stunning as ever.”
Both beamed at his praise and gave him a big squeeze before releasing him.
“Looks like ya didn’t get any rain,” Captain put in, noticing the dusty ground.
“Naw missed us as usual,”
“We were drenched,” Captain told him.
“Bart rang and told me... by all accounts it didn’t spoil ya day,”
“It’s been a great trip,” Kristy added, “partly thanks to these two,” she indicated toward Jordie & Mitch who had wandered over. After introducing them, she told Clyde about the bull n barrel show and emu costume race.
“Seems you boys are earning your money,”
Both nodded and told him they wouldn’t have missed a minute of it, and were hoping the excitement would continue.
Clyde laughed at their eagerness and said that he couldn’t promise the same amount of action, but confident they would have a pleasant stay at Mallee Meadows.
Clyde guided the bus into the main street amid excited townsfolk who waved an enthusiastic greeting. It had been a long time since tourists had visited their humble abode, and they were waiting in anticipation for the following night’s entertainment.
The bus came to a halt outside of an ancient double story hotel. It had a wooden veranda set before large windows either side of a redwood door. Over the entrance, a caricature of a massive hog’s head with large shiny tusks and challenging eyes, had the words ‘The Hogs Head Inn’, above it.
After the passengers filed off they were directed inside. Clyde walked behind the bar and stood beside a buxom woman in her mid-forties. She had salt and pepper hair and a warm and friendly smile.
“Meet my wife, Pearl,” Clyde roared.
After ordering their drinks, the passengers wandered about the hotel admiring murals of caricature pigs and desert landscapes that lined the walls.
Pearl left the bar and walked over to greet Captain, Kristy and May-lee. There were hugs all round, then introductions to the boys before she ushered May-lee and Kristy into the lounge bar for a chinwag.
Jordie, Mitch and Captain stayed at the bar talking to Clyde. He told the boys of his and Pearls arrival to Mallee Meadows years earlier. He had been a shearer, and Pearl a shearers cook. Not having been blessed with children, they had the freedom to follow the shearing seasons throughout Australia and New Zealand. Becoming tired of travelling, they settled in Mallee Meadows. Having made, and saved good money, they jumped at the chance to buy the ‘Hogs Head Inn’ when it came up for sale. Since then, life for them had never been happier.
They were chatting away when a squat bowlegged man, who looked as if he were aged between sixty and seventy, entered. He was carrying a large plate covered with a tea towel. Clyde pulled him a beer then introduced him to the boys.
“Meet Chopper Hungerford, pig breeder extraordinaire,”
Chopper placed the plate onto the bar then shook their hands before lifting the tea towel off. An oval shaped murky coloured creation, of what looked to be minced up meat covered in clear jelly, wobbled on the plate beside a small knife and some crackers.
“I’ve made a special treat for you Captain. Your favourite, hogs head cheese,”
“That looks great,” Captain laughed. “I always look forward to visiting here,”
Mitch made a weird face. “What’s in it?”
“It’s the head and hocks of a pig boiled in aromatic herbs and spices. When it’s cooked, I blend it with blue vein cheese,”
“It looks a bit like my mums meatloaf only smelly,” Jordie put in.
“It’s a Southern America delicacy,” Captain told them, then cut a small slice, smeared it onto a cracker and pushed it into his mouth. Chopper followed Captains lead and grabbed a larger serving. He wolfed it down and flushed it with a gulp of beer.
“Yummy,” he smacked and offered some to the boys; both declined.
“How’s that pig of yours?” Captain asked. “The passengers are itching to have a guided tour of ya sties,”
“Well that’s terrific Captain, everything is set and ready ta go,”
“I knew we could count on you mate,” Captain replied and smeared another cracker.
“How big is this pig?” Mitch asked, wondering what all the fuss of seeing a pig was about.
“Gigantic...” Chopper bragged then paused to reach for another cracker. He smeared it with hogs head cheese, shoved it into his mouth and followed it with another gulp of beer. After he had gotten it down, he felt an unexpected surge of stomach gas; he forced a burp to release it, strained to hard and farted.
A putrid stench hit them like a wave of ammonia, knocking their heads back with the force of a boxer’s fist.
“Shit, that stinks,” Mitch choked as everyone gagged and wiped tears from their eyes. Chopper continued as if nothing happened, “Me and Clyde have big plans for him,”
“How’s that?,” Captain waved his hand in an attempt to clear the air.
“Breeding off him… Kristy started it with this cruise. The more people we have visiting, the better chance of marketing our product,”
“That’s right,” Clyde put in, from the safely of the bar, “with cruises every month we’ll make a killin’ sellin’ hogs head cheese, pork salami and our prized smokin’ bacon,”
“You must be proud of Kristy,”
Chopper said and had another go at his beer.
“That I am,” Captain nodded and drew a deep breath as the air finally cleared.
“We’re headin’ out to Choppers to make sure everything is ready for the passengers visit tomorrow,” Clyde told Captain, “The two young fellas can come along an’ help if they like,”
“Yeah, sounds interesting,” Jordie put in and glanced at Captain, who nodded.
“I’ll be staying onboard Maddy with Norman tomorrow, and the boys won’t be needed,”
Jordie & Mitch followed Chopper and Clyde outside and walked over to a dual cab 4x4 Ute painted Midnight black. In the back were two of the meanest looking dogs they had ever seen. They were a cross between Bullmastiffs and any other breed they could think of. Their eyes were dim, and their jaws looked as strong as steel. The boys moved gingerly toward the Ute keeping a watchful eye on the beasts.
Clyde noticed their hesitation. “Don’t worry about them, they’re as harmless as puppies.”
He directed them into the rear cab then jumped into the passenger’s seat.
“I’ll take you back to Maddy, so you can grab a change of clothes,” Chopper told them. He jumped into the driver’s seat, started the engine and drove off.