Chapter 22
Carter raced the General Lee through the Pentagon parking lot and parked near the main entrance.
Carter and Sabrina the woman got out of the General Lee still dressed like female Navy Seaman.
They walked to the front entrance.
Carter awkwardly walked in those high heels. “How can you ladies walk in these shoes?” he asked Sabrina.
“You’ll be getting the hang of them soon enough,” Sabrina the woman replied.
Carter looked like his ankles were going to snap at any second while they walked to the front entrance of the Pentagon.
Inside the front entrance of the Pentagon sat two Security Guards on some stools at the security station.
One of the security guards was Elmer a fifty-five years old man, bald with a large beer belly.
His coworker was Darrell a fifty-eight year old with thinning hair and he also had a large beer belly from eating too many donuts with Elmer.
Elmer and Darrell were about to doze off after coming down from their sugar high from the dozen donuts they woofed down earlier.
The front doors slid opened and Sabrina the woman and Carter walked inside the Pentagon.
Elmer and Darrell glanced over at the front doors.
“What the?” Elmer quietly said to Darrel while he cringed at the hideous sight of Carter.
“I’m afraid to ask,” Darrell whispered to Elmer.
“Your identification cards please,” Elmer told Carter and Sabrina the woman the second they walked up to their station.
Sabrina the woman removed Sara’s ID card from her pocket and showed it to Elmer.
He looked at the ID card. He looked at Sabrina the woman. He looked back at the ID card. “You look different,” Elmer told Sabrina the woman.
Sabrina fluffed up her hair. “I just came from an all day pampering spa workout. It made a new woman out of me,” she replied and prayed inside he would buy her bullshit.
Elmer looked at the card then back at Sabrina the woman. “That works for me,” he said and handed the ID card back to her.
Carter removed his ID card from his pocket and handed it over to Elmer.
Elmer looked at the ID card. He looked at Carter. He looked back at the ID card. He looked back at Carter. “You look really different,” Elmer told Carter.
Carter pondered an excuse for a few seconds. “I was given a bad batch of Botox at that same day pampering spa,” he lied.
Elmer got a look of sympathy while he handed Carter his ID card. “You may proceed,” he told Carter and Sabrina the woman.
Carter and Sabrina couldn’t believe the guards bought their bullshit while they walked away from the security station.
Carter repositioned his fake boobs while they walked toward a hallway.
Guards Elmer and Darrell watched while Carter and Sabrina the woman walked away.
“That Seaman is going to break her ankles,” Darrell told Elmer while they watched Carter awkwardly walk in those high heel shoes.
“That doctor who gave her that Botox should be horse whipped!” Elmer said.
Darrell nodded in agreement with Elmer’s comment.
Carter and Sabrina the woman walked the numerous hallways of the Pentagon for thirty minutes and were lost.
They walked upon a very old janitor mopping the hallway floor.
“Excuse me, we’re a little lost. We need to get to Admiral Palmer’s office,” Sabrina the woman asked the janitor.
“Up on the floor above us and down that way,” the old janitor said and pointed to his right.
“Thank you,” Sabrina the woman said.
The old janitor watched while Carter and Sabrina the woman walked away toward the nearest stairway.
“I guess the Navy doesn’t have standards against ugly women,” the old janitor muttered to himself while he watched Carter walking awkwardly in those high heels.
Back at the security guard station by the front entrance, Elmer and Darrell sat on their stools and ate more donuts.
The front doors slid opened and Scarface entered wearing Admiral Palmer’s navy uniform.
“Your identification card please,” Elmer said to Scarface while he walked up to the security station.
Scarface removed an ID card from his pocket, and handed it to Elmer.
Elmer looked at the ID Card. He looked at Scarface. He looked back at the ID card. He looked back at Scarface. “You look different than this picture,” Elmer told Scarface while he pointed at Admiral Palmer’s picture on the ID card.
Scarface pondered an excuse for a few seconds. “I just came back from an all day pampering spa. I had the deluxe package,” he lied to Elmer.
Elmer glanced at the ID card. “Ahhh, I understand it. You may proceed,” he said while he handed Scarface back the ID card.
Elmer and Darrell watched while Scarface ran away and headed down the hallway.
Darrell glanced down at his beer belly and squeezed it. “You know something, I need to go to that all day pampering spa.”
Elmer looked down at his beer belly and nodded in agreement with Darrell.
A little while later, Scarface ran down another hallway in the Pentagon where that old janitor was mopping another area of the hallway.
Scarface screeched to a stop by the janitor. “Where’s Admiral Palmer’s office?” he asked the old janitor.
“Up on the floor above us and down that way,” the old janitor said and pointed to his right.
Scarface ran off down the hallway.
“Like I said before, the Navy sure needs to implement some ugly standards,” he muttered to himself while he mopped the floor.
Carter and Sabrina the woman were on another floor of the Pentagon and walked down a hallway.
A few minutes later, Carter and Sabrina the woman walked to a door with a glass window that had “Admiral Harry Palmer’s Office” painted on the glass in fancy gold letters.
“It’s probably locked,” Carter said while he turned the doorknob and learned it was indeed locked.
Sabrina the woman thought for a second. Her eyes suddenly lit up with an idea and she checked all the pockets of Nancy’s uniform. She smiled while she reached in one pocket and removed a door key. She stuck the key in the door lock, turned it and the door unlocked. “Figures,” she said while she pushed the door opened.
They went inside the Admiral’s office.
Inside Admiral Palmer’s office, Carter and Sabrina the woman walked past the secretary’s desk and saw the door for Palmer’s office.
They went inside his office and saw a big fancy wooden desk, chairs and couch. Over on one of the walls was a bookcase filled with Navy ship models, books on ships, and a lone ceramic Pink Panther.
“Bingo!” Carter yelled out the second he saw the Pink Panther.
Carter rushed over to the bookcase and snatched the Pink Panther its shelf.
He shook it and heard something rattling inside the ceramic Panther. He turned the Pink Panther over and removed the plastic plug on the bottom.
He shook the Pink Panther and the memory stick dropped out into Carter’s hand. “We got it,” he said then shoved the memory stick back in the Pink Panther and reinstalled the plug.
“I haven't met my monthly kill quota for my hit man club membership, but I’ll forget that for the Pink Panther,” Scarface said through gritted teeth while he had the barrel of his Glock pressed into the back of Sabrina the woman’s head.
Carter looked at Sabrina the woman’s scared eyes.
He looked at the Pink Panther with the evidence inside.
He looked back at Sabrina the woman’s scared puppy dog eyes. He handed Scarface the Pink Panther.
Scarface snatched the Pink Panther out of Carter’s hand with an evil snicker. “Just think. I get the Pink Panther with the corruption evidence and can meet my monthly quota for my Government Hit Man's club membership,” he said while he aimed his Glock at Carter’s head. “Nice knowing you Remake,” he replied with another evil snicker.
Sabrina the woman looked at Carter and winked indicating she had an idea.
Carter knew what she meant and waited.
Scarface was about to pull the trigger of his Glock when the rainbow colored flash consumed Sabrina the woman’s body. He stepped back scared that the strange light might zap him.
Sabrina the dog appeared, which startled Scarface.
Sabrina the dog growled at Scarface who immediately turned his revolver at her.
“Noooo!” Carter yelled out while he lunged at Scarface.
Carter and Scarface tumbled down to the floor.
Scarface's Glock shot off while he dropped the Pink Panther, which slid out into the hallway.
The Glock slid out of Scarface’s hand and slid under Palmer’s desk.
Carter and Scarface rolled around the office floor, punching, pinching, and snapping each other's ears and noses.
Carter pulled on Scarface's hair on the back of his head.
Scarface pulled on Carter's hair and the blonde wig came off. Scarface threw the wig across the room like it was some type of strange creature.
Sabrina the dog looked worried while she watched Carter and Scarface roll on the floor. The rainbow colored flash consumed Sabrina the dog’s body.
Sabrina the woman reappeared.
She ran over to Palmer’s desk while Carter and Scarface rolled around on the floor punching and biting each other.
Sabrina the woman reached around under Palmer desk. She pulled out Scarface’s Glock and aimed it at the two while they tumbled.
“It's over Scarface!” she yelled at him.
Carter and Scarface stopped rolling and they both saw Sabrina the woman with the Glock aimed at them.
“Ah, she doesn’t have the balls to shoot anyone,” Scarface said then he punched Carter in his face.
Sabrina the woman fired the Glock and shot off the top of Scarface’s right ear.
“I guess she does have a set of balls,” Scarface said in shock while he felt the top of his right ear and discovered part was missing. He released his grip from Carter and stood up.
Carter jumped up to his feet.
A few minutes later, Scarface had his wrists, ankles Duct taped to Admiral Palmer’s desk chair. Another piece of Duct tape was over his mouth.
Carter and Sabrina the woman wheeled Scarface out of the Admiral’s office and into the hallway.
They wheeled Scarface down the hallway in Admiral Palmer’s chair.
Scarface squirmed to get free but couldn’t since the Duct tape was too strong.
They wheeled Scarface down the hallway to a “Trash Chute” door in the wall.
Carter opened up the trash chute door.
Sabrina the woman whacked Scarface on the back of his head knocking him out.
Carter removed a pocketknife and quickly cut away the Duct tape bonds to free Scarface.
They both grabbed the arms of the Admiral’s chair.
They strained while they lifted up the Admiral’s chair to the opening of the trash chute.
They dumped Scarface into the trash chute.
They dropped the Admiral’s chair to the floor.
While Carter closed the trash chute door, they heard the clunk, clunk sound of Scarface while he tumbled down the chute.
At the Pentagon’s security guard station at the front entrance, Elmer and Darrell sat on their stools eating more donuts.
Carter holding the Pink Panther and Sabrina the woman ran past them and headed to the front doors.
Elmer and Darrell noticed the two while they ran out of the Pentagon.
“Ewe! That Botox is making that one soldier uglier and uglier,” Elmer told Darrell.
Darrell nodded in agreement with a mouthful of donuts.
Carter and Sabrina the woman ran through the Pentagon’s parking lot.
They screeched to a stop when they noticed the General Lee was missing from its parking spot.
“Not again!” Carter cried out while he stared at the bare parking spot.
Sabrina the woman saw a huge RV parked fifty feet away in the lot.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Carter asked Sabrina the woman with a smirk while he stared at the RV.
“That’s what I’m thinking,” she replied.
Carter and Sabrina the woman ran off and headed to the RV.
Carter and Sabrina to woman ran to the RV where Burt and Edith, both seventy years old, relaxed in lounge chairs outside their RV.
“Well, hello there,” Burt said in a southern accent the second Carter and Sabrina the woman arrived at the RV.
“Would y’all like some coffee?” Edith asked their guests.
“No thank you,” Carter replied.
“Do you know what time the Pentagon opens up for tours?” Burt asked Carter.
“They just opened,” Sabrina the woman responded.
“Can we leave my RV here?” Burt asked.
“Don't worry sir. We'll park it for you. Compliments of the United States Navy,” Carter said.
“We heard that the first two people in line for the tours gets a special tour of all the secret meeting rooms,” Sabrina the woman added.
“Well, we don’t want to miss out on that,” Burt said while he stood up and reached in his pants pocket. “Well that's mighty nice of you ma'am,” Burt said while he handed Carter the keys to his RV.
Burt and Edith walked away from their RV and headed to the front entrance of the Pentagon.
Carter and Sabrina the woman rushed inside the RV and closed the door.
“I guess the Navy doesn't have regulations against ugly Seaman,” Burt told Edith.
“I hate to see what her momma looks like,” Edith replied while she shivered at that thought.
Burt nodded in agreement with his wife’s comment while they headed over to the Pentagon’s front entrance.
Carter started up the RV and drove off through the parking lot.
“I can’t believe we were able to pull this off and get the Pink Panther,” Carter told Sabrina the woman.
“We did have the world’s best detective on the case,” she said while she hugged and kissed Carter’s cheek.
He looked proud while he drove the RV out of the parking lot and headed down the street.
Twenty minutes later, Carter and Sabrina the woman drove the RV down a highway heading south.
Back at the Pentagon, Burt and Edith were the only two people who waited by the front doors thinking the tour would start any second.