SOMA | The Meme Dump
LEVON
They’re jacking my house!
NICK
Necessary step, brother! We need to have a clean slate from which to build your brand.
LEVON
My whole life is in that house!
NICK
All evidence of your existence needs to be controlled, brother, stop running.
Levon slows. He looks in every direction, hyperventilating. The Cleaner, the Mover and Iso pile into the van and start tailing Levon.
Levon turns down an alleyway to escape.
LEVON
What have you done, Nick?
NICK
We've made you famous! But the initial marketing plan is...
unconventional.
LEVON
What’s the deal?
NICK
Well, you basically need to become a super villain!
LEVON
Huh?
NICK
Alright, check it! The rights to Soma were bought by a famous multinational. Let’s call them Big Pharma. Since Big Pharma can’t 62
SOMA | The Meme Dump
be publically linked to illegal products they need someone to act the face of the product. And here’s where you come in. Think of yourself as a mascot! Big Pharma needs you to be the official spokesperson for the drug! And to take credit for its eminent prevalence.
LEVON
I’m the fall guy?!
NICK
But without the fall! We’re gonna protect you! And after some initial turbulence, your life will be way better! We’ve got a whole strategy planned. While you’re on the run, we’re gonna have you write cryptic letters to the major blogs, boasting about evading the cops, and the sacrifices you’re making to get Soma to the people!
LEVON
You told the Internet I’m a drug dealer?! Oh, Christ!
NICK
I sold the Internet that idea, brother love! Check this angle: You’re a modern day shaman, a mysterious Banksytype character, risking his freedom uh, uh, mysteriously! In a passionate effort to open the third eye of the masses. You’ll be a modern Robin Hood! A digitalage outlaw! LeoNard built you a website and everything!
Levon mounts his longboard.
NICK
You’ll be a phantom king pin! Big Pharma will handle manufacturing and pushing Soma to the street dealers.
LeoNard proudly displays The Mycelium’s website and other branding.
NICK