Back up in outer space, the Mayflower with the Space Buggy on the trailer flew alongside the front of the asteroid while it continued with its descending orbit.
The Mayflower and the towed Space Buggy flew to the middle finger of the asteroid.
The Mayflower slowed down and inched its way to the tip of the middle finger, which was their old Sweet Thing.
The Mayflower docked to the Sweet Thing with a thud.
The engines of the Mayflower whined down when Ronnie turned off the ignition.
Inside the Mayflower, Jake and Butch were dressed in their spacesuits.
"Are you there yet?" Richard hounded them from the radio net.
"Yeah, we're here," Jake replied, then looked irritated. His eyes widened with an idea then motioned to Ronnie and Butch to turn off the earth communications button on their suits.
Butch and Ronnie nodded in agreement, and they all three turned the knob to "No Talk With Earth" side of the earth communications button.
"We'll have better success with our mission if that numbnuts doesn't bug us," said Jake.
Butch and Ronnie nodded in agreement.
Ronnie's eyes widen with an idea. "He doesn't need to see us either," he said then pressed "Earth Can't See Us" button on the console.
"Good thinking," Jake replied.
Jake and Butch eyed each other and their competition to be first started all over again.
They both floated over to the hatch and arrived at the same time.
They both fought over the handle of the hatch.
Jake pushed Butch out of the way and quickly turned the handle of the hatch. He went through the hatch then opened the hatch on the other side allowing entry into the Sweet Thing.
"What in God's name are you?" Jake cried out from inside the Sweet Thing.
Butch got curious, and he quickly floated through the hatch then floated through the other hatch and went inside the Sweet Thing.
Inside the Sweet Thing stood a small alien named Ralph. He had a huge long nose, large ears, large brown eyes, pouchy body, hairy feet, and hands all covered with orange hair. There was long orange hair on top of his head had a gaudy comb-over.
Ralph stood on a box at a joystick control at the console by the windows. He looked at Jake and Butch and wasn't afraid of them.
"Hello earthlings, my name is Ralph, and I'm from the planet Stardonia," he said and waved a hand at Jake and Butch. "Who might you be?" he added.
Jake and Butch stared in disbelief at the sight of Ralph, and for some unknown reason, they were not afraid of this small orange hairy alien.
Butch's eyes widened when Ralph looked a little familiar. "Where have I seen you before?" he asked while he strained to search for the answer.
"My cousin Alf once lived on your planet. He starred in a TV show back in the late eighties. Then after the show got canceled, he flew home and told wonderful stories about earth," Ralph replied.
Jake and Butch's eyes widened when they both remembered.
"You mean that Alf character wasn't a midget in a costume?" Butch asked Ralph.
"Nope. He was for real," Ralph replied.
Jake and Butch both looked surprised then they floated over to Ralph.
"I'm Jake Savage, he's Butch Beaver," Jake said and followed up with a handshake. "So, why are you in our old Moon Lander?" he added.
"Well, I found it floating in space many years ago. And since my hobby is collecting and flying ancient spaceships, I claimed ownership," Ralph replied.
"Okay, but why are you here around the earth?" Butch asked curiously.
"I was on my way to Planet Neileon for their annual antique spaceship show. During my journey to get there, I decided to swing by earth to take a peek. But as I orbited around your planet, I kept hitting your space junk. Then my controls got jammed!" Ralph said while he moved his joystick around to prove it was ineffective. "You earthlings need to clean up after yourselves," Ralph added.
"Listen, we don't have time for idle chit chat. We need to get this thing out into space before it destroys the earth," Jake blurted out.
Ralph looked at the windows. "I thought I was getting closer and closer to your planet. Is there anything I can do?" Ralph said.
"Sure. Go inside our space module, called the Mayflower, and get out robot R1D1 and the Moon Lander kit. Our friend Ronnie can help get them for you," Butch said.
"My pleasure," Ralph replied.
Jake and Butch looked at each other and snickered knowing Ronnie would probably poop his pants the second he saw Ralph.
They both chuckled while they watched Ralph float over to the hatch.
"It's a good thing Ronnie turned off the camera, Richard would probably have a heart attack," Butch said.
Jake smiled at the vision of Richard staggering at his console while excruciating pain shot all through his chest. Then he shrugged off that vision and decided to be nice.
Ralph floated through the hatch then floated into the Mayflower.
Inside the Mayflower, Ronnie already had his boots propped up on the console while he glanced at some nudie picture of a girlie magazine.
"I'm here to get something called R1D1 and a Moon Lander kit," Ralph said while he floated over to Ronnie.
"It's over there," Ronnie said then pointed at R1D1 that was strapped to wooden stool tied to a sidewall. The "Moon Lander Kit" box was secured under the three legs of the stool.
Then something about Ralph's voice stuck Ronnie as odd, as he's never heard that voice before. He peeked up over his girlie magazine and saw Ralph while he floated over to R1D1. "Ahhhh!" Ronnie jumped up, scared, and banged his head on the top of the capsule. "Who or what are you?" Ronnie asked in fear while he rubbed the top of his head and settled back down in his seat.
"I'm Ralph, and I'm helping," Ralph replied while he undid the straps keeping R1D1 to the sidewall.
"Hey, guys! Help!" Ronnie yelled out.
A few minutes later, Jake and Butch floated back into the Mayflower.
They chuckled the second they saw Ronnie while he hid behind his girlie magazine, shaking in fear of Ralph.
"He's harmless," Jake said while he floated over to Ronnie.
Back down in the Ferry Room #1 of the Ferry Control Center, the digital display scrolled "The Finger – 240 Miles Away."
Richard sat at his console. "Jake, come in Jake," he said into the radio net.
He looked at his monitor and saw the "Off The Air" message for the camera inside the Mayflower.
Richard slammed his fist down on the console pissed that Richard was giving him the silent treatment during his mission.
Ten minutes later, Ronnie was briefed about Ralph, and he was now comfortable with the orange alien.
"Let's press on with our mission," Jake said.
Butch and Ronnie nodded in agreement.
Ronnie went back to his duty of reading his girlie magazine while Jake, Butch, and Ralph floated back inside the Sweet Thing to start their mission.
Inside the Sweet Thing, work was in progress for the first part of the mission; configuring the inside of the old Moon Lander to fly the asteroid out into deep space.
R1D1 was in sleep mode, and it snored on top of the wooden stool that was secured over by the joystick.
Underneath the stool, Jake had a console panel opened under the joystick. He connected a new wire to a wire from the existing console joystick.
Jake connected the other end of that wire to the "Inlet" port on the "Control Box A" black box that was installed under the wooden stool.
Butch connected another wire to the "Exit" port of the "Control Box A" black box.
Butch floated up to the access hatch at the top and connected that wire to the "Inlet" port of the "Control Box B" that he previously installed near the hatch.
Over at the console, Jake's hand reached up and tried to press a button to reactivate the joystick. But he accidentally pressed a button on R1D1 instead.
Jake brought his hand back down, thinking he activated the joystick.
R1D1 came out of its sleep mode, and it stretched. A light illuminated and a modem sound was heard. R1D1 made a fist with its right mechanical hand. R1D1 was in the process of smacking Jake on top of his head when Jake reached up and accidentally pressed another button on R1D1.
A beam of light emitted from R1D1 then a Hologram screen appeared in the air. In the hologram, a recorded image of Richard's face appeared.
"R1D1. This is Richard Head, the CEO of the National Exploration Rocket Program. I have new orders for you, and they are tippity top secret hush, hush. I need you to get rid of Jake and Butch, so Vadim and Wayne can perform this mission, and then I can be a hero and then President. Report back when you've completed your mission," Richard said then the hologram disappeared.
"That bastard!" Jake said while he stared at the space where the hologram appeared.
"We'll just have to send him our rebuttal," Butch said with a smirk.
Jake knew precisely what Butch had in mind, and it reminded him of their college days.
Jake floated up and pressed another button on R1D1. A small keyboard popped out of the tummy of the robot.
Jake typed a message with a smirk.
Back at the Nursing Home For Very, Very Old People, June anxiously watched TV on the edge of the couch.
Hoke wheeled Daisy into the room in her wheelchair, and he stopped alongside the couch. Daisy looked at the TV.
"We have breaking news. Astronaut Jake Savage was rescued, and now he and fellow Astronaut Butch Beaver have started performing their historic mission to save the earth," Anita the news anchor told the TV audience.
"He'll screw something else up!" June said while she watched the TV.
Daisy looked pissed and motioned Hoke to get her out of the room.
Hoke wheeled her away from the couch.
Inside the Mayflower, Jake, Butch, and Ronnie took a nap to get some rest before starting their mission. Ralph stayed in the Sweet Thing while he took a nap.
The space-age alarm clock, paid by the NERPs low budget sounded. It was a rooster that gave out a loud cock-a-doodle-do from behind its screen door compartment.
Everybody woke up and stretched after the rooster gave them their wake up call.
Back down in the Ferry Room #1 of the Ferry Control Center, the digital display scrolled "The Finger – 233 Miles Away."
Richard sat at his console and sipped some coffee and had a smirk, as he couldn't wait for R1D1 to report back.
A beep was heard on his monitor.
Richard looked and saw "Message from R1D1" appeared. "Yeah!" Richard called out in joy then he pressed a button on his keyboard.
His mouth dropped in shock when he saw "Dick Head – Kiss This!" message appears with a picture of Jake and Butch's saggy butt cheeks.
Richard got furious at the sight of the picture. "I can't freakin believe it!" he cried out.
"Believe what?" Jennifer with a smirk when she entered Richard's console and saw Butch and Jake's ass cheeks.
Richard jumped with a girlish scream and turned around then saw Jennifer behind him. He saw her with arms crossed and knew she was pissed.
Richard showed his best bullshit face. "Hi pumpkin."
"Don't you pumpkin me. I know you're trying to get rid of them. But it's too late, they started their mission!" Jennifer yelled at Richard.
"No, no. We're just goofing around. Like what we did back in college," Richard said while he pointed at the screen.
"Bull turds! I heard you ask Buzz to get rid of them and I also found out about Vinny Carter," Jennifer yelled at him.
"But honey, lamb! It was best for the world!" Richard finally confessed.
"You hate Butch because I love him and not you!" Jennifer added.
"No, dumpling! It's just," Richard said but didn't finish because Jennifer stormed over and slapped Richard across his face.
"I'm going to tell the President!" she yelled, then turned around.
Richard got very nervous while thoughts on cleaning toilets filled his mind.
"Hey everybody, Richard is looking at gay porn in his monitor," Jennifer yelled out loud at all the engineers.
A bunch of engineers rushed over to Richard's console.
Richard got embarrassed and scrambled to turn off the picture of Jake and Butch's butt cheeks, but it was too late. All the engineers that entered his console saw the old saggy butt cheeks. They walked away, leery of Richard.
Up in outer space inside the Sweet Thing, Jake, Butch, and Ralph got dressed into their spacesuits.
Ralph wore a purple spacesuit with a fishbowl glass space helmet.
Butch just finished closing both hatches that now sealed them from the Mayflower.
"Are you ready to save the earth?" Jake asked Butch and Ralph.
"I'm ready," Butch replied but looked like he was concerned about something.
"I need to calibrate my communications unit to your frequency," Ralph told Jake and Butch.
Five minutes later, after some readjustments on the suit, Ralph, Jake, and Butch gave each the thumbs-up sign that they were able to hear their conservations inside their helmets.
"Okay, Ronnie, move the Mayflower into position," Jake said into the radio net.
"In work," Ronnie replied from the radio net.
Jake and Butch heard the crank, crank, while Ronnie tried to start the Mayflower's engines.
Inside the Mayflower, Ronnie turned the key in the ignition, and the engine wouldn't start. Ronnie got frustrated, and he banged his fist on the console while he turned the ignition key. The engine to the Mayflower started with a loud varoom.
"Hooray!" Ronnie yelled out, proud of himself.
He then pressed the "Reverse" button on the console.
"I'm leaving pulling away from the sweet thing now," Ronnie said into the microphone.
Inside the Sweet Thing, Jake floated over to R1D1 and pressed the "Perform Mission" button.
He then floated over up to the top access hatch. He turned the handle of the door and opened the hatch.
Jake, Butch, and Ralph all saw the vastness of deep space through the hatch opening.
Jake looked at Butch and each other while they floated in the Sweet Thing. They bumped fists that indicated they were ready to start their mission.
Jake and Butch both floated up to the opening to be the first one out to the top of the asteroid.
Butch won, and he was the first who slipped through the opening and went out into space.
Jake floated through the hatch opening.
Ralph floated through the hatch opening.
On the top of the asteroid, Jake, Butch, and Ralph stood on a piece of space junk, and they looked around at the stars.
They looked down the enormous rough surface of the space junk asteroid and realized they had a long journey.
They looked down at earth and marveled at all its beauty.
"You have a beautiful planet," Ralph said while he looked down at the earth. "So we hear from other aliens that you're slowly destroying your environment. Why?" Ralph asked while he looked at Jake and Butch.
Jake and Butch looked at each other, and as humans, they felt ashamed.
"Because we have a bunch of idiots running our planet," Butch replied.
"Well, let's go save the lives of those idiots," Ralph said and looked determined to help his earthling friends.