Chapter 21

 

Three days later, Jake, June, and Ronnie, with a sexy brunette woman around thirty years old from the You Got Money, We Got Honey escort service, were in the East Room of the White House. They stood with President Barnaby, Jennifer, and a couple of newshounds.

President Barnaby, and Cindy, who worked on his staff, walked over to Ronnie. Cindy had two small medal cases in her hand.

President Barnaby stopped at Ronnie and smiled. 

Cindy opened up one of the medal cases.

"It gives me great pleasure to award Ronnie Hummer the Presidential Medal of Freedom for saving earth from the threatening Finger asteroid," President Barnaby said then he removed the medal from the case and placed the blue ribbon around Ronnie's neck.

The newshounds snapped pictures or Ronnie and his paid-for date.

President and Barnaby and Cindy walked over to Jake.

Cindy opened up one of the medal cases.

"It gives me great pleasure to award Jake Savage the Presidential Medal of Freedom for saving earth from the threatening finger asteroid," President Barnaby said then he removed the medal from the case and placed the blue ribbon around Jake's neck.

The newshounds snapped pictures of President Barnaby with Jake and June who had a huge proud smile.

Jake's eyes widened with an idea, and he leaned toward President Barnaby's ear. "There's something you could do for me, Mister President," Jake leaned over and quietly said to President Barnaby.

"What's that?" President Barnaby curiously asked.

"Change the name astronauts to Space Cowboys from this day forward," Jake quietly said.

"Why should I do that?" President Barnaby replied while he looked at Jake.

"Because Butch has always wanted that since the Uranus days. And he told me about that little encounter between you two in college," Jake said with a smirk that he knew of the President's dark secret.

President Barnaby looked at Jake's smirk and the movement of his tongue against the inside of his cheek that simulated oral sex. He knew that Jake knew about his brief encounter with Butch in college. "I'll send out the official order later today," President Barnaby quickly said.

President Barnaby turned to the newshounds. "Per the request of one of our heroes. Effective tomorrow, our astronauts will no longer be called astronauts but will be called Space Cowboys. This change will occur to honor our hero Butch Beaver who opted to fly The Finger away from the earth after the R1D1 robot was deemed ineffective," he said.

The newshounds snapped more pictures and jotted down this updated bit of news.

"Oh, in addition, the Mayflower capsule will be on display in the Smithsonian Museum next month," President Barnaby added.

June placed an arm around Jake and kissed his cheek proud of her man.

Meanwhile, in outer space, The Finger asteroid already zoomed past the moon and headed towards Mars.

Inside the Sweet Thing, Butch slurped his up Tasty Tabby cat microwavable dinner.

Ralph slurped up his Peppy Persian cat microwavable dinner.

"So, if you don't mind me asking, I know you don't have much longer to live, what should I do with your body?" Ralph asked curiously while he slurped up the rest of his Peppy Persian.

Butch thought about Ralph's comments while he slurped up the rest of his Tasty Tabby. "Just throw my body out into outer space so I can roam forever," Butch replied with a sad look that he'll never see earth again but knew he had to complete this mission.

Then from the windows, Ralph saw Mars approaching fast. "We're approaching Mars," he told Butch.

Butch looked excited and quickly floated over to the windows where Ralph joined him.

Butch looked like a little boy while he stared at Mars from the windows.

After The Finger asteroid zoomed past Mars and headed to Jupiter, Butch floated away from the windows.

"That was so cool!" he called like a little boy. "I can't wait to see Jupiter!" he added.

A little while later, The Finger asteroid was zooming through space and got closer to Jupiter.

Way above The Finger was a spaceship from the future. It was the USS Venture and was headed to earth after unknowingly flying through a time-traveling worm in space. It had a humongous circular hull at the top with a long cigar-shaped hull at the bottom, which was the engine.

The inside of USS Venture had future technology that was developed in the 2240s by the United States Space Force (USSF). The USS Venture set sail for adventures in outer space in 2286.

Captain Henry Dirk, who sat in a cushy executive's chair, commanded this spaceship.  He spent most of his time staring out the windows while the USS Venture traveled through space.

His crew members monitored the computers while the USS Venture headed back to earth.

Captain Dirk looked to the left side of the windows saw Jupiter way off. He seemed to the right side of the windows and saw Mars. He smiled, knowing he was getting closer to earth.

Then a human-looking alien with oversized pointed ears, thick dark eyebrows, and a severe constant demeanor, named Shock, walked up behind Captain Dirk. "How does it feel to be coming back to your earth, Captain Dirk?" Shock asked.

Captain Dirk looked excited. "Wonderful Shock! I wonder what kind of reception they'll give me," Captain Dirk replied with visions of being given medals, a promotion and a ticker-tape parade in his honor.

Captain Dirk and Shock looked out the windows, then they saw The Finger asteroid slowly fly upward in front of the USS Venture then made a little left bank toward Jupiter. 

Captain Dirk felt offended by The Finger.

"They must be really pissed at you for being gone so long," Shock said with his usual serious look. Then he turned around and walked away with a light smile. The first time he's ever cracked a smile.

Captain Dirk slumped down in his chair and felt that earth wasn't going to give him his medal or parade.

"Make a one hundred and eighty degrees turn to the left, we have some more exploring to perform," Captain Dirk instructed his crew members.

The crew members worked their consoles, and one of the crew members moved the control stick to the left.

A tear of rejection ran down Captain Dirk's face while he watched the USS Venture perform its turn back into deep space.

Back on earth, Jake and June were flown back to Phoenix in an Air Force jet.

Later that day, they were in their bedroom packing for that vacation he promised her. June watched the TV while she packed their suitcases.

"Now that the asteroid's off to deep space, the National Exploration Rocket Program had just announced the disappearance of two Astronauts Buzz Harley and Neil Drebin from the Multinational Space Station," Anita the news anchor said to the TV audience then the "Missing – Last Seen On The MSS" milk carton with pictures of Buzz and Neil appeared behind her.

"How did those guys disappear?" June curiously asked Jake while she shoved a couple pairs of Jake's tighty whiteys into his suitcase.

Jake looked at the TV with pictures of Buzz and Neil on the carton of milk. "We suspected they got scared and boogied," Jake replied.

"Oh," she replied while she closed his suitcase.

Jake walked out of the bedroom with a bit of a smirk.

Meanwhile, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the escape pod from the MSS floated to a small tropical island.

 A few minutes later, the escape pod floated into a lagoon that looked like the lagoon at Gilligan's Island.

Inside the escape pod, Neil and Buzz finally woke up from the drugs they accidentally injected into their legs.

They felt the light thud when the escape pod stopped at the sandy beach of the lagoon and heard the sound of some light waves hitting the back of the escape pod.

Neil and Buzz looked a little unsure of their demise.

"Should we find out where we are?" Neil asked Buzz.

"Might as well," Buzz replied.

Neil reached over and turned the handle for the door.

The door to the escape pod opened up with a whish.

Neil and Buzz heard birds singing outside and saw palm trees and plenty of sunshine.

"Looks like we landed in paradise," Buzz said with a smile.

"Let's go," Neil replied.

Neil went through the door.

Buzz went through the door.

Buzz and Neil stood outside on sandy beach and Gilligan's Island type lagoon.

"This kind of looks familiar," Neil said.

"You're right, it does," Buzz replied while he continued to scan the beach over.

Some pieces of wood over by a big rock caught Buzz's attention. He walked along the beach and headed to the rock. He picked up one piece of a wood plank that had the faded "Minnow" word. He got a déjà look when he saw that word. Then his eyes widened with a little fear when it dawned on him. "I got a bad feeling about this place," he told Neil while he held up the wood plank.

Neil looked at the wood plank then it dawned on him when he remembered that word. He nodded in agreement in having a bad feeling.

Buzz walked over to Neil.

They both sat down depressed on the sandy beach and looked out at miles and miles of Pacific Ocean.

Meanwhile, way over in Gary, Indiana, Elmer Jetson was a sixty-five-year-old ex-Physicists who retired ten years ago. He started up the Jetson Scrap and Salvage company to supplement his retirement income, which wasn't much. 

Then five years ago, Elmer tinkered with the idea of building his own rocketship to venture up into earth's orbit, scoop up some space junk, then come back down to earth and sell it for a considerable profit. He used the help of some rocket scientists that retired from NERP a few years back for the design of the propulsion system.

His rocketship was called Garbage 1 with hopes of building a second salvage ship. 

Garbage 1 consisted of a semi-trailer for the storage bay that was modified with two doors than ran along the top of the trailer. They would open up to allow for the robot arms to snag space junk and place them inside the trailer. Then half of a cement mixer was modified for the capsule with windows, seats and all the required controls. At the bottom of the semi-trailer, storage bay was located the Liquid Oxygen and Kerosene fuel tanks for the engines. Elmer also purchased six never been used Uranus V rocket engines that he installed at the bottom of the fuel tanks.

Elmer cried when he heard the news of the development of The Finger asteroid, as he saw his dreams of being the very first space junk man vanishing. He was ready to launch Garbage 1 a month after that asteroid formed into The Finger.

Elmer sat in his living room and drank a beer while he watched TV. He flipped through the channels and stopped on the news when he saw something of interest.

"The United States Space Junk Agency reports that The Finger asteroid cleaned up about sixty percent of the space junk orbiting our planet. They made a statement that the remaining junk orbiting over the earth poses no further danger. In conclusion, President Barnaby made it official today that our astronauts will no longer be called astronauts, but will be called Space Cowboys," Anita the news anchor told the audience.

Elmer shot up off his chair with a huge smile. "I'm back in business!" he yelled out and did a victory dance around his room.

Way off in outer space, The Finger asteroid zoomed closer to Stardonia, which was 25,000 miles away.

Butch succumbed to his many diseases.

Ralph completed his final wishes and booted his body out of the hatch. He watched Butch's body float away in space and gave a Stardonia salute.

Ralph floated over to the console and pressed the "Talk To Stardonia" button. "Stardonia, this is Ralph. I'm twenty-five thousand miles from home, and I have an asteroid I picked up at earth. Can you send a tow ship?" Ralph said into his radio net. He tapped his fingers while he waited for a response.

After a few minutes, it arrived. "Ralph, this is Stardonia home base. A tow ship is on its way," Harry from Stardonia replied.

"Okay, Stardonia. I want to leave this asteroid in orbit above our planet. I have a business venture idea," Ralph replied into the radio net.

"We understand," Harry replied from the radio net.

"I'll be waiting," he replied, then pondered for a few seconds. He knew this would take about an hour, so he went over and opened up the cabinet and removed a Tasty Tabby Feline cuisine microwavable meal. 

He floated over to the microwave and cooked a meal while he waited.

An hour later, the tow ship from Stardonia flew alongside The Finger. 

Ralph waved at the tow ship from the windows then he reached down and pressed the "Turn Off Engines" button on the black box Jake installed.

The engines of the asteroid shut down and it floated next to the tow ship.

Out in space, the Stardonia tow ship moved out in front of the middle finger. A hook extended from the rear of the ship and headed to the docking device at the front of the Sweet Thing. The hook snagged the docking device and towed The Finger Asteroid to Stardonia.

An hour later, the tow ship parked The Finger asteroid in orbit around Stardonia.

Then the top hatch of the Sweet Thing opened up, and Ralph floated out in his orange spacesuit.

He closed the hatch then putt putted up to the front of the tow ship and opened up a door. He went inside the tow ship.

The tow ship descended back down to Stardonia.

Meanwhile, it was the middle of the night in Gary, Indiana. It was quiet, and even the criminals were asleep.

Then there was an orange glow visible from the middle of Elmer's Jetson Scrap and Salvage yard.

Neighbors all around the scrap and salvage yard woke up to a loud rumble. Many of them rushed to their bedroom windows and saw a fireball ascend up into the sky. They saw Garbage 1 being launched up into space.

The next morning, Jake's 1966 Chevy Impala Super Sport drove west down Interstate 10 headed to Los Angeles for a cruise.

The trunk was tied open as it was so stuffed with suitcases and couldn't be closed.

Inside the Impala Super Sport, Jake and June held hands. Jake turned on the radio.

"This is Biff Burger with the news. Residents in Gary, Indiana reported seeing a rocketship launched out of a nearby junk yard last night. Police believe they just had too much booze to drink."

Jake turned off the radio. June leaned over and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder while he drove.

Meanwhile, way up in outer space over in Stardonia, Ralph had his cousin, Jilly's Construction Company build a four hundred room hotel on the top of The Finger asteroid. He called it the Beaver Motel as indicated by the neon sign on top of the hotel. It was his way of honoring his earth friend Butch Beaver.

Along the sides of The Finger asteroid, Jilly built hundreds of docking platforms, for personal spaceships, with stairs that led up to the entrances of the hotel. 

Ralph even had the HariAnne capsule modified into a taxi he called the Beaver Ship. This taxi would ferry the hotel guests to other nearby planets for sightseeing tours.

Inside the lobby of the Beaver Motel, Ralph converted R1D1 into a Bellhop for taking the suitcases to the guest's rooms. 

Jilly also built a train ride for the alien kiddies and used the Space Buggy for the engine for the train.

Ralph was now rolling in the dough and becoming rich.

Meanwhile, back in space by the earth, Garbage 1 orbited with the two doors opened on the semi-trailer storage bay. A robot arm snagged a piece of floating space junk and dropped it into the storage bay.

Garbage 1 orbited some more then the robot arm snagged another piece of space junk and dropped it into the storage bay.

A week later, Richard and Vinny continued to scrub out Porta Johns.

President Barnaby was working on his reelection campaign, and his advisors told him he should win since saving earth happened on his watch.

Jennifer settled into Richard's old office and enjoyed being the first CEO of NERP.

Little Q and the other NERD boys worked on some other secret rocket stuff.

Billy Joe sat at his console in the Peek-A-Boo We See You Room and watched the green icon for Garbage 1. Since the Space Spy Agency learned from Elmer's wife, Edith, about his plans for scooping up space junk for profit, they were not concerned with Elmer.

Jake and June relaxed on the Lanikai Beach in Oahu, Hawaii.