CHAPTER FOUR
– EASTERN VISION –
The correct ink had been identified which meant a major problem had been solved.
The next question on Fred’s list was where to get the printing done.
It could be arranged in the UK but in his mind there was only one place to go: The home of the printed toilet roll.
Japan.
Of course there were other more pressing matters he would have to see to – not the least being where he would find the books to publish – but that could wait. His thinking was that if he got all his other ducks in a row first he could then solve the last remaining difficulty more easily.
“Japan?” he girl friend almost shouted. “You’re going to Japan to buy toilet rolls?”
“Not to buy toilet rolls,” he answered as calmly as he could. “To find a printing company with the necessary experience to handle the business.”
“Well you’re not going without me,” his girl friend stated. “If you’re going to Japan I’m coming with you. I’m not letting you go on your own. I can do some shopping and sightseeing while you’re discussing toilet tissues. Mt Fuji for instance.”
“I’m not physically going to Japan,” explained Fred. “I’m going to search the web to find the company. More than one if I can so I can compare what they offer.”
“Oh,” said his girlfriend who appeared crestfallen.
Fred ignored her reaction. “Or China,” he added.
“Can we go to China then?” perked up his girlfriend. “We could see the Great Wall.”
“Look, I’m not paying good money to travel to the Far East when I can go onto the internet and find what I’m looking for there.”
“Oh.”
“Anyway, you reckon my idea is stupid so why should you come with me even if I do decide to fly to Tokyo? Or Beijing?”
His girlfriend left the room in a sulk and Fred turned to his computer to begin his search for a printer who would be able to handle his project. He would check out both China and Japan.
He had a vague recollection of reading that woodblock printing, although normally associated with Japan, had been used in China for centuries to print books. That was obviously long before the advent of movable type. However it was, he now discovered, only widely adopted in Japan quite late, during the Edo period his research threw up from the early seventeenth to the late nineteenth centuries.
But as the internet also showed woodblock printing is also probably the best known Japanese printing technique. Fred looked it up further and found the Japanese word for woodblock printing was moku hanga which sounded almost like Duaringa where his plan had had its germination so the early auspices looked good. It went on that it is a technique most commonly used in the ukiyo-e artistic genre, but it was also used very widely for printing books in the same period.
Finally his research explained that although similar to woodcut in western printmaking in some regards, moku hanga differs considerably in that water-based inks are used as opposed to western woodcut which uses oil-based inks. The reason for this is that it allows for a wide range of vivid colour, glazes and colour transparency. This fitted neatly with the ink that his friend had identified and in Fred’s mind this meant less baboon butt.
So far so good. Now to find a few companies that he could e-mail to see if they would be prepared to take on the assignment.
Of course there was one major hurdle early on, apart from just finding the books to publish. Fred had no money. None to speak of anyway. A few thousands pounds tucked away in a savings account and a few hundred in another account that he kept topped up for necessities.
Borrowing was out of the question. He did not know anyone who had sufficient funds and even if he did he doubted they would part with any to support his project, a project that everyone apart from him thought absurd. How so many otherwise reasonably intelligent people could be so wrong, so short sighted, so unimaginative was beyond him. Unfortunately that did not change things. He simply did not have enough money to go it alone. He would need a partner or partners.
And the obvious one would be the Chinese or Japanese printing company who he would give the project to. They were known to be among the most inventive and imaginative societies in the world so surely they would see the merit and the potential in his idea. All he had to do was explain it succinctly and he would then decide which of the interested parties he would go ahead with.
Dear Sir, he began his draft.
My name is Fred Nurk and I would like to put before you a proposal that I am confident you will find exciting and want to be a part of.
I am well aware that toilet habits in China/Japan (delete as required) are important just as they are in my country. The significance of that in the United Kingdom where I live is a crucial element of my proposal.
(Incorporate here information about toilet habits in China to show an understanding)
In your country I have been told there is a major difference between the toilet habits in the countryside and the habits of people living in the cities. My project is aimed only at city dwellers.
To be honest I feel it is incumbent on me to say that to westerners like myself Chinese toilets leave a little to be desired.
They leave too much behind to be desired in fact, thought Fred. He had heard stories numerous times of just how smelly and filthy toilets were in the cities. He was told by a recent acquaintance who had just come back from a visit to Beijing and Shanghai that by and large the public toilets he had been forced to use were invariably unflushed and, as he put it, “reeking shit”. He could only guess what they were like in the countryside.
He also thought that by having something to read in the toilet users would be tempted to sit longer and that would encourage them to be cleaner and more courteous to others.
Having said that, and I trust you will not take umbrage at my honesty, I do believe that what I propose will go a long way to alleviating that problem. And at the same time result in massive financial rewards for us both.
(The following to be used for the Japanese companies to replace that for China, information about toilet habits in Japan to show an understanding)
Japanese toilets are well known for being leaders in the technology field. They are also among the cleanest. I know for instance that most Japanese men sit down to urinate and that the current state of the art for private households is the bidet which is commonly referred to as a washlet.
Be that as it may, toilets the world over have one thing in common.
(The following is for both China/Japan)
To be brief, my proposal is to have rolls of toilet paper with books printed on them. Users would be able to read their favourite stories while doing their business.
I can hear you saying there is the obvious downside to the idea, that people would get upset about missing sections of the book they were reading. But that is in fact an upside. It would mean replacement toilet rolls would have to be purchased.
Which would mean more sales.
Which would mean more profit.
Another point to bear in mind is that while printed toilet paper as such is not new, toilet paper with books printed on it would be unique.
All you have to do is think about the population of China/Japan to realise that together we would become extremely wealthy.
The key word here is “together”.
I am looking for a printing company that would like to join with me.
It is my idea, I would identify authors and/or publishers who would give us the right to publish their books and you would handle the printing. Of course Chinese/Japanese language stories would be up to you to decide.
We could discuss what the share of profits would be, but I am sure we could arrive at a mutually suitable compromise.
That in a nutshell is the project.
You may have questions but if you would be interested in joining with me in this exciting and potentially hugely rewarding project please let me know as soon as you can.
He would send it to both the Chinese and Japanese companies he selected off the web. When their individual responses came back he would decide which to follow through with.
Fred’s hopes were growing almost by the minute.