The Joy of Stupidity by Kelvin Bueckert - HTML preview

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11

Ebeneezer and All His Stupid Things!

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“More, more, more,” they whispered.

Like little beasts, corrupt little vampires, things had crept into Ebeneezer’s life. Possessing him, consuming his every waking moment. “More, more, more,” was the mantra of these things and obedient to their greedy desires, Ebeneezer had invited more and more things into his life already consumed with things. Soon, his tiny house trailer was stuffed to overflowing. All the while, in the back of his mind, he could hear the stern voice of his late father warning that possessions were simply a way to turn money into problems.

Sadly, Ebeneezer had forsaken this advice long ago. After all, he had his things. He had more things than everybody else in the world and the world admired him for this.

Care for things and use people was his trusted motto, yet, as the years went by, these things began to create mischief and problems.

There were so many things in his house trailer that it was extremely difficult to move through it. Yet, still they whispered for more. Eventually, in order to free up more space in his trailer, Ebeneezer built an addition to his trailer. Then, when even the addition wasn’t enough to accommodate all the things that needed a home, Ebeneezer filled the hallways with things and dug tunnels through the rubble.

He was so busy working for these things that he never noticed the years had flown by until he was an old man. It was then, as he lay there in his bed, surrounded by all his things, that he began to think.

Throughout his life, the things had promised him happiness if only he allowed them in. However, Ebeneezer had reached the end of his lonely life and now at last he realized the true horror of his situation. The truth that he would soon have to let all of his precious things go.