A gentle breeze stirred.

A lonely tumbleweed tumbled across a sandy trail.

The only life visible was a few patches of stunted cactus scattered randomly throughout the otherwise barren desert.

Beside the faint path, a gang of scruffy looking outlaws could be seen crouching behind a large boulder, smoking cigarettes and reading Louis Lamour paperbacks. Word throughout the west was that these were the degenerate Dingbat brothers. The only survivors of the grand shoot out at the Okay Corral. They would never admit it and whenever asked about the Okay Corral, they would only snarl…mainly cause they wanted to annoy all them good citizens by not speakin in perfect English.

Ahem. In any event, they would only snarl, “The Okay Corral? It’s okay for a corral, but it sure ain’t the best corral I’ve ever seen.” Anyone with any sense would leave it there but most people in those days had traded their good cents for bad whiskey and so they kept on asking questions without any inhibitions. The goal of all these foolish people was to corral the gang members into answering more questions about the famous corral.

“So, ya think I’m full of bull do ya? Speakin of bull. What kind of bull did ya say that Okay Corral was full of?”

“Angus.”

“Angus eh? I bet that kinda livestock sure makes for some good hamburger don’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know anythin bout livestock. I make all my hamburgers outta dead stock myself.”

After that is when the barfight started. It was always an ugly scene with two leather clad western types shouting, shooting cooking tips at each other across a crowded saloon.

In any case, as we have firmly established the depraved nature of the Dingbat Brothers gang, we must move on with our tale. As we return to the present day, we see excitement stirring through the gang of outlaws as one member pointed into the distance. Out there, in the barren wasteland, a tail of dust could be seen rising into a clear blue sky.

The time was at hand!

Gang members put down their Louis Lamour paperbacks and began pulling six shooters from their holsters. It was obvious to everyone, including themselves, that they were preparing for an ambush.

All the while, time passed and the fierce yellow sun furiously blazed fury.

Two black, sweat drenched horses drew ever closer, straining against their leather harnesses, dragging a rustic wooden stagecoach behind them.

As the stagecoach closed in on their hideout, the outlaws sprang out from behind the boulder. Shouting and brandishing their guns, forcing the horses and the stagecoach to pull to a halt in a cloud of dust.

The horses stomped and whinnied to each other, agitated at this sudden turn of events.

Shaken by the sight of a band of unshaven men walking toward them, the passengers of the stagecoach began to scream in terror. The screams only intensified as the gang began their wicked work. One gang member rudely yanked open the door of the coach, without even knocking first, and then he ordered everyone outside.

As the terrified passengers clambered from their stagecoach, the driver jumped from his position on top of the coach and attempted to flee. He didn’t get far before another gang member had headed him off. Then, all the brothers began to work together. They snarled and sneered as they herded all their terrified victims into a line.

The line in place, the outlaws began distributing free Amway catalogs to one and all. Even to those who politely declined. It was a horrible scene that graphically illustrated the evil in the heart of a man. However, this tragic situation took a turn for the better as each of the outlaws caught the eye of a pretty school teacher, tripped over a loose log, and promptly fell in love. After the outlaws picked themselves up and dusted themselves off, they began to consider the error of their multilevel marketing ways.

It was quite a scene out there in the desert. A line of outlaws and a line of their victims all standing out there facing each other , scratching themselves and considering each other for the next few hours. It was an out standing stand off not often seen in the action packed westerns of today.

The fact that almost every passenger of the stagecoach was a beautiful schoolmarm was amazing coincidence. Even more amazing was that these schoolmarms all happened to be sisters. Still, as unbelievable as all these things were, that’s just how things were back then. You’ll just have to trust us on that historical fact. In any case, the turning point of this tense stand off was the fact that each of these schoolmarms was also an excellent cook.

As this fact came to light, the fate of the outlaws was sealed.

Luckily, a parson also happened to be traveling in the stagecoach as well. As the parson saw the tide of conversation beginning to turn against the outlaw gang, he seized his opportunity and married them all on the spot. Just like that, the outlaws had all became in-laws. Since they had all become one big happy family, they naturally all lived happily ever after, proving once and for all that it really was the good old days.