The Joy of Stupidity by Kelvin Bueckert - HTML preview

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23

Manitoba Melvin and the Lost Generically Titled Treasure!

Ancient Canadian legends claimed that every dog had its day. Which is true, but sadly that day was not today. After a tough paddle, Manitoba Melvin found himself up the creek without a paddle…or a poodle. It was a dog gone shame as Melvin knew he would need that paddle later. However, despite these tragic set backs, Manitoba Melvin left his canoe and set off into the jungles of Plumas in the pursuit of the long lost treasure of Randomlynamedsomeoneorother.

Try saying that three times fast, Manitoba Melvin did, and while he stood in that clearing, mumbling that exotic name over and over again, Indiana Jones sauntered by and snatched the wooden treasure box from its place before the sour stone idol. Then, without even a polite word of acknowledgement, Indiana headed back toward the jungle. Yes dear friends, if Indiana Jones were a Canadian he at least would have uttered a polite greeting before stealing the treasure, but, alas, he was not. So it was that Indiana simply marched off into a thick curtain of green foliage. As he did so, a small poodle plodded after him, proudly carrying a paddle in its mouth.

All the while, the idol just sat there, doing nothing about the treasure that had been stolen from it.

It was obviously an idle idol.

However, Melvin was not that type of man.

His eyes bulged.

His tongue hung out as he panted out his panic.

The treasure box was gone!

It was another set back in a day full of set backs! Yet, fearless Manitoba Melvin feared less than most people and so, he was not at all concerned about getting his nickel back.

Being Canadian, Manitoba Melvin knew without even opening the box, that the box contained the great Canadian treasure, Nickelback, and Manitoba Melvin wasn’t worried about getting his Nickelback back. Nickels and dimes were small change and Melvin hated change. In fact, during his youth in the long lost coed convent of Calgary, he had taken the much vaunted vow never to change his hatred of change. This was all simply a matter of pride in a job well done for him.

However, judging by the dramatic music that had somehow begun floating through the jungle, it was time for the chase that always seemed to be a part of these adventures.

Melvin knew that with a name like Indiana Jones, there was only one place his enemy could be, Indiana. With an unusual name like Jones, Indiana would be easy to hunt down. It was time to get to work!

Manitoba Melvin jutted out his jaw, waited for the flash of a photo, ahem, what can I say, the media is everywhere! Then, after the selfie of his skinny, homely looking self was safely posted to his social media accounts, Manitoba Melvin ran off after them all. Nickelback, the paddle carrying poodle, and last but not least, Indiana Jones and his family. As old and out of shape as Indiana had become, Manitoba Melvin had no doubts about his ability to keep up with the Joneses.