Worried about the lack of gold in his life, Old Jeb decided it was time ta change things up. His first try was pannin for gold. That didn’t really pan out, especially in the kiddy pool, so he started diggin for gold instead.

I guess ya could call ol Jeb a gold digger, but he was a bit more grizzled and weathered lookin than most gold diggers these days. Anyways, ol Jeb kept on diggin there in his backyard. His neighbor Doug, didn’t like the hole Jeb had dug and so, one fine day he wandered over ta tell Jeb that he didn’t dig it.

Oll Jeb just stopped diggin, leaned on his shovel, and grinned a grin of mischef. “I know ya didn’t dig this here hole Doug, I did.”

Doug was an uptight type, probably because his jeans were bout two sizes to small. I’d say more about these jeans but that just isn’t fittin. Anyway, Doug started gettin angry and his voice started gettin serious. “Look here Jeb, sometimes you’ve just got to call a spade a spade.”

“So ya do, an you can feel free ta keep callin that shovel whatever ya like, it won’t mind. I gotta keep diggin though.” On that note Jeb returned his attention to the hole he found himself in. Like many people who find themselves in a hole of their own creation, he kept on diggin and the hole grew ever deeper.

He just knew that if he were able to find enough gold, his life would change.

Dirt flew as he slaved. Doug would soon be back with the by law enforcement officer, then Jethro knew that he’d be forced to quit. He wanted to find something before then.

Aha! There was a dull thunk as his shovel hit somethin.

Jeb shoved his shovel down again.

There was a clank and then a shout of joy.

Old Jeb had found gold, lots and lots of shining gold bars.

His life was about to change!

The next few hours were spent haulin the gold bars from the hole in the backyard and stacking them up in the garage. Jeb expended a tremendous amount of sweat doing this. So much sweat was expended that he didn’t have anythin left to sweat when Doug finally dropped by with the by law enforcement officer.

There was a few moments of yelling but since the by law officer had to abide by the law he couldn’t do much at the moment.

“I’m gonna be back here tomorrow to check on that hole!” The by law officer shouted as Doug stood in the background smiling smugly.

Jeb grinned that familiar grin of mischief. “But officer, if I fill in that hole in like ya told me to, you’re gonna have a real problem.”

“What’s that?”

“You’re not gonna be able ta check on that hole if it ain’t there.”

“Never mind me. You just fill that hole in if you know what’s good for you.” After that, the by law officer stomped off as Doug trailed after him.

Ol Jeb knew what was good for him, that’s why he never ate fast food. He found that he could move a lot faster without a lot of fast food clogging up his system. However this was a side point, the hole was now empty and it was the gold that called for his attention.

There was so much gold stacked there in his garage that Jeb began to get nervous. What if somebody broke into the garage to steal it?

Jeb grabbed some boards and nailed all the windows shut.

What if somebody broke through the roof?

Jeb began to reinforce the roof so that no one could ever break through it.

What if someone tunneled toward his garage and broke through the floor?

Driven by these increasingly paranoid ideas Jeb worked all night to reinforce his garage. Eventually, in the cold light of morning, he stopped to survey his work. The garage was mostly safe but Jeb just knew that someone would be able to get inside if they put their minds to it. He knew then what he had to do, he had ta hide his precious gold in a safer place. So it was, after the neighbors had left for work, that Jeb crept out and hid the gold in the hole that he had dug in his backyard.

After all the gold was safely hidden away, Jeb quickly filled the hole back in.

As his work was completed he leaned on his shovel and surveyed his empty neighborhood.

He cackled to himself as his head swelled with his achievement.

No one would ever know about the gold he had hidden away.

Although, from now on he must watch, he must ensure that no one ever was able to sneak into his backyard.

Yes, life in the neighborhood was better when everyone worried about the business in their own backyards and Jeb knew that he would do his part.

Once he was worried that he didn’t have enough gold and now he was even more worried that he finally had some.

Gold had indeed changed his life.