As I watched that there flashy red convertible roar past me, I couldn’t help but notice a giant grandfather clock sitting there in the passenger seat. An you know, I couldn’t help but think ta myself, my that time goes fast…he’s sure gonna get it, going 80 in a 30 km school zone.

“Yo, Jethro, get your head in the game,” yelled my coach. Yeah, coach was always a little uptight…but since we were playin the world series an all, I decided to humor the fella and get my mind back on baseball.

“Jethro what are you doin out there, keep your eye on the ball,” bellowed coach as he jumped up and down and waved his stubby arms. Some people just need ta relax a little, know what I’m sayin?

“Why so uptight coach, it’s just a game!” I tell ya, there’s far more important things in life than baseball. Like possum innards…an combatin hillbilly stereotypes. Yeah, Coach just didn’t quit though. He just kept right on yammerin away. I mean, what’s the point of yellin like that? Why go on and on about keepin my eye on the ball? Then it hit me…the ball that is…

I tell ya now, that incident made a real impact. It changed the way I see tha world…yeah, I suppose that’s what a black eye will do to ya.

Anyhoo, after that game Coach gave me a lecture, he was tryin ta tell me that I gave ’em a headache, but I don’t get his line of thinkin at all…I mean, I was the one with the headache..not him.

Baseball is a crazy business full of crazy people I tell ya…there’s always somebody tryin ta order you around, tell ya to practice, ta step up to the plate other weird things…I mean, steppin up to the plate? What’s tha point of that? The way I figure it, you can eat them vittles a whole lot better if yer sittin at the plate…

***

An Inspirational Nerd Pickup Line.

1 Man (from Mars (x1)+1 Woman (from Venus (x1)=(Star Wars!) But baby, how about a Star Trek…together (1+1, u + me) instead?