It was love at first sight. Every morning, as he looked into the mirror and prepared to caress his long curly locks, he was filled with admiration. However, combing his hair was difficult to do properly while wearing sunglasses.

This was a problem as Rocky didn’t want to lose his rock and roll image for one minute. With that in mind, the sunglasses stayed on, even though the room where he combed his hair was very dimly lit.

His band mates always joked that only a dim bulb would put such a dim bulb in his bathroom. However, the easiest person to impress is yourself and Rocky was impressed with his sheer level of impressiveness. Back in the 80s his band had hit number 99 on the Billboard hot 100 and as someone who had been part of that milestone in music history, he needed to look the part.

Anyhoo, that’s pretty much how each day passed for Rocky. Moments carefully combing, hours graciously grooming, afternoons sincerely smiling in front of his gold framed mirror…until five o clock rolled around. Yes indeed, five o’clock was a wicked time, five o’ clock meant that it was time to go to work.

With great reluctance, Rocky dragged himself from the image of himself. Showing great strength of character, he daily and oh so humbly allowed his limo driver to drive him to the gig that evening.

This all carried on happily until that one fateful day. During the evening, while the rest of his heavy metal band was wailing glad tidings of the coming apocalypse, Rocky finally took the bold step he had been dreaming of for so long. He dropped the guitar in his hand, pulled a golden trumpet from his knapsack and began tooting his own horn. Sadly, this musical adventure gave rise to much discord with the other members of the band.

After a few sour notes, Rocky was thrown bodily from the band wagon…this was a real problem since the band wagon they were all riding was moving quite quickly at the time. (They were shooting a music video on VHS in an attempt to revive their status as hip with all them crazy kids of 2017.) Luckily, this video did not kill the radio star…still, as Rocky rolled into the ditch, he took time to reflect on his rough and tumble life in rock and roll.

This reflection proved to be time well spent since after that fateful day, Rocky was forced to reconsider his career options. Apparently, the warning he had read in his cherished copy of Pride For Dummies had been correct, pride will always divide, and he was forever banned from his former band.

However, Rocky wasn’t bitter…he knew that he was better…than pretty much everybody else in the world.

Still, since he had always wanted to blow his own horn, the only career option open to him was in the local elementary school marching band. Rocky wasn’t deterred by this challenge though, as a 55 year old rock star, he was confident that he would stand out at the upcoming auditions.

As he always said,“Rock isn’t dead, it’s just laying there dude.”