Dear Willie,
We at NASA plan to put a Scotchman into orbit on the International Space Station soon as part of a medical experiment to investigate the effects of over-indulgence in alcohol on a weightless human. For instance, how can you tell if he’s drunk if he can’t fall over? Your name was put forward, but we are looking for the reactions of an average human being, and you are obviously far beyond that. In any case, that is not why I am contacting you. We, naturally, like to make our astronauts as comfortable as possible in the alien environment of space, and so we would request you to ask your wife, Sadie, for her recipe for haggis so that our future jockanaut can enjoy his usual diet.
Prof Braun, Washington
Dear Prof,
My wife, Sadie, says it would be an awful fuss to cook a haggis in a space station and has volunteered to make one for you. But be warned, Sadie’s haggis give you terrible wind and your chap might have to leave the windows open.
Willie